Things you’re better off stealing than buying and why (386 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: -1.77 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tokerson (View user info) at 2008-07-09 16:55:42 EDT
Things you're better off stealing than buying and why:
Hemorrhoid cream - The cashier will be mocking you silently and may call an unnecessary price check.
Razors - They're disproportionately expensive; a month's worth of razor blades should not cost more than the razor itself... I wish I wasn't given a 'Fusion' for Christmas because I can't go back.
Rubber bands - No one should have to pay for rubber bands.
Paperclips - (see above)
Bic pens and pencils - (See above the above - it's relevant to note that you should purchase fancy or higher end pens as those are a luxury and not a necessary commodity)
One-use batteries - It's perfectly possible to get rechargeable batteries instead... though maybe you should just buy those in the first place and never these.
Famous art pieces - It's impractical to expect someone to buy a plane ticket to Paris, probably pay 10 euros to get in the Louvre and tolerate beret-wearing wine drinking cheese eaters just to LOOK at the Mona Lisa for five minutes. I have no reason to believe this but I bet they don't even allow flash photography.
Small, resource-rich nations - Countries with little material wealth often choose to value ideals above currency and thus cannot be easily extorted by conventional means.
Bibles* - The book advocates repentance and responsible action... among other things... and by stealing the book you give yourself a sin for which your new acquisition can absolve you of.
Elections - Stealing an election is as morally wrong as buying off the voters/vote counters, etc, and costs you far less. It's the practical choice. It's relevant to note that one could steal an election by buying it, in which case you get bonus points for a double whammy.
* - This should not be stolen unless you attend to use it and apply its relevant material to your life
User Reviews
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I mean FAIL
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:05:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
EPIC FALE!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 20:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 19:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What about a kiss?
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Plant it right here, on my hairy asshole. Moron.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-09 19:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What about a kiss?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-09 18:59:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I will sadly admit to heisting a few packs of razor blades in my day...because they ARE too damn expensive.
Other than that, shut the fuck up.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fail
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A Spellcheck - This post needed one.
A central theme or idea - (see above)
Something amusing - (also see above)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
* - This should not be stolen unless you attend to use it and apply its relevant material to your life
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attend?? ATTEND??? What an idiot.
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An idiot is actually someone who can't discern between the word "attend" and it's intended but unwritten counterpart "intend".
Or someone who tacks an arbitrary string of digits to the end of their username.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09
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They're not arbitrary, dipshit. They represent my IQ.
:)
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hated this post and why.
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
* - This should not be stolen unless you attend to use it and apply its relevant material to your life
==================
attend?? ATTEND??? What an idiot.
-
An idiot is actually someone who can't discern between the word "attend" and it's intended but unwritten counterpart "intend".
Or someone who tacks an arbitrary string of digits to the end of their username.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
* - This should not be stolen unless you attend to use it and apply its relevant material to your life
==================
attend?? ATTEND??? What an idiot.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-09 17:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
auto bible disclaimer -2
if you're going to take the piss, do it properly.
wanker