August and the Bitch Feast. (367 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.1 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tato ninja (View user info) at 2008-07-10 01:07:15 EDT
I don't remember exactly when I first met him. My boyfriend-at-the-time, we'll call him Linus (sounded not faggy for a split second I swear); worked with him and thought August was hot shit. Like Cleveland steamroller hot. He was a limited example of what my 70 000 population town had to offer for "diversity" because we all know that diversity is the color of your skin. And black people are about as diverse as you can get. NO matter who you are or where you are. This is what my education has taught me and I'm sticking with it.
I think he came from Chicago (a lot of the black guys in my town did for some reason) so he was obviously top fucking shit and one of the most delusional narcissistic people I have ever met. I will say he got more pussy than a bad case of Chlamydia in the red light district. I don't know how he did it; at least 7 different bitches at any given time...AT LEAST. They were somehow all hot, too.
He was soooo helpful to 'linus', helping to give him pointers and generally act like a crack baby on cow-shit-fumes. How he should be "gettin' out there n tappin as much ass as you can..." In his defense he told Linus he should date me because blah blah blah. But still. I can be pissed.
The first time I had actual evidence to him being a nigger was when Linus and my other house mates had to run out and pick him up from his house at ... oh 1 a.m. on a school night. (A schoooool night?! Yea, well my best friend was a TA at the time so had to wake up to deal with 18 year old pricks. God I hate mornings)
That doesn't sound suspect at all, Tato. You're just a bitch!!
Well, all he would say that night is, " My engine was shot and you need to come get me NOW dawgggg." Later found out he shot out his own fucking engine from INSIDE THE CAR in the passenger seat....don't know why; or why he was in the passenger's seat. I don't really give a shit, either. Shoot people and animals, not fucking car engines dipshit.
There was also always the random times he'd drop by panting and eyes bugged out of his head like a bad case of Grave's and he'd inform us that the cops might be after him for selling copious amounts of coke to some undesirable people; or because of his gun; or probably for having several kids he never talked about or took care of. Maybe it was when he raped my friend; but I know she didn't tell 'authorities' so that must not have been it.
I don't understand how people get touchy about the N word. There are people like him perpetuating the stereotypical Nigger and damned proud to do it. He had a hunter green Lexus, so p.i.m.p. right? (I'm fucking kidding asshole....Ok, I take that back, the asshole thing .I just can't control my emotions...I love you. Shit. I'm completely neutral . Yeah, that's the one.)
Well his ex girlfriend's mom gave it to him. (Gangstah gangstah.)
He's also the same fucker who broke my e-brake on my Motator. (Not gangstah, semi-retarded move which sucked my balls when parking on 30 degree inclines on the icy death traps of Iowa roads...Bastid.)
He really threw ... no not a curveball at all. He's a complete tool and always has been.
But, we found out he was about to go to jail. Next thing I heard he was in prison.
Yup. Something along the 'productive-well-adjusted-member-of-society-27-counts-of armed-robbery-around-the-Des-Moines-area' tune.. He's in the prison in Waterloo if you want to write him a letter.
This really didn't have a point. I'm not really racist; but I understand that some people are. If this is the same thing that a person encounters their entire life; they will 'know' that this is how all black people act. I know SEVERAL people who have never met a normal black person. I don't know how they can pull this off; but it DOES happen. I think it's because of the very all-white towns attitudes and stereotypes...I should know I'm one of three Asians to pass through that one horse town. (What the fuck does that even mean?!?!)
When a bunch of Mexicans came to a small town to take the shitty jobs no one wanted anyway; what did everyone do? That's right; the civil thing by calling them all "Jose" and laughing hysterically. This coming from inbred sons a bitches who can't spell their way out of a hangman.
I just love this picture. It's fucking hilarious to me for some reason.
She's either
A) one of those dumb cunts who would've been fucking August
B) One of his 47th chromosomal children
C) Maybe both A and B....
User Reviews
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-10 15:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck, I didn't think steamroller was right.
But I was delirious from lack of sleep.
Excuse? Yeeeeaaah.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-07-10 12:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Like Cleveland steamroller hot.
_____________________________________________________
No, more like "Cleveland Steamer" hot.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-07-10 12:28:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus...what the fuck was this unintelligible gibberish supposed to be?
you have made the world a worse place by hitting the submit button with this. great fucking job.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-10 10:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have no words for this.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-07-10 08:55:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're not a ninja.
Stop shaming the ninja code by trying to assosciate yourself with them.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What bandwagon is this? Do you just start a post with "I dont remember ......blah" and then try to write the most intelligible dribble ever?
Because I reckon I could do that
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know how when you meet someone, get on with them, exchange email addresses.
Then when they email you they are the most boring person on the face of the earth?
Huge knockers but cant type for poo.
She's now officially the most boring person on the earth.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This...this is a bandwagon?
I don't get it.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I actually met someone like that once. It was awful. It was actually a contributing factor in making me move house, meeting them once was just so traumatic.
I hope this bandwagon ends soon. It is really stressing me out.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-10 04:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck was that?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-10 03:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont think this post needed to be THAT long
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-10 01:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I seriously have no idea what this post was supposed to be.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-10 01:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You seem to be illiterate.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-10 01:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wtf are you talking about?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-10 01:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where do you live? Do you have access to places that teach reading and writing skills to adults and immigrants? I suggest you look one up.