Second Chance - Fiction (677 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.13 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by myshit (View user info) at 2008-07-14 11:30:30 EDT
They sat in the midst of a pure white haze, the three of them, in a perfect triangle, seeing each other's angular faces, seeing nothing. They sat upon blind air, unsupported, and felt their weightlessness. They sat in [an unnatural] solemnity, not moving a single muscle of bodies that might or might not be real. They sat waiting.
"We are damned," said the one with the long dark hair, her voice emotionless, her lips barely moving. "It was a sin. We await our judgment. We are damned."
The other turned her brilliantly green eyes slowly all about her. "It's just like you always imagine it to be, when you dare to wonder. But you can never see beyond this."
The third, with the butterfly scar on her cheek, lifted paper-thin hands draggingly as if they carried lead, touched the slender line of the flat stomach that curved smoothly down beneath her breasts. "Gone," she whispered, her face haunted. "My Godgone...."
"It is coming," stated the dark-haired calmly, her huge black eyes unblinking, her straightforward gaze unmovable. "We knew it would. Sowhy?"
It was a question, but there was no question in her voice. Already she knew the answer that the green-eyed softly whispered:
"Because there was no sign."
There was no sign.
She woke beside him in the half-light of early morning, his muscular body a solid, comforting presence sending ripples through the sheets all the way down the bed. His longish black hair was messily scattered, curling over his forehead and across cheeks that were flushed in the peacefulness of sleep. She leaned across him and touched his lips with gentle fingers, lips that still smelled faintly of alcohol. He slept quietly.
It was always as if last night had never happened. Flashing through her mind like the quick scenes of a movie, she saw a darkened room, late at night, she saw the door burst open with frightening violence, she heard drunken shouting and helpless, bewildered cries; she saw thin arms flung up pleadingly in an impotent gesture of protection. She ran a crooked finger slowly over a swollen cheekbone, wondering briefly if the bruise had turned black, if she had enough foundation left in her jumbled makeup drawer to cover it. She closed her eyes and tried to remember how it had ended, at what point he had crept into bed beside her and [cuddled] up to her motionless body.
He was turning, stirringhe was awake, blinking up at her with eyes still blurry with sleep, eyes heavy with remorse and affection.
"Aviebaby. Shh, don't say a wordplease." He put a finger softly over her lips, his face filled with pain. "I'm sorry, babyI'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happenI was so drunk, I didn't know what I was doingI never meant to harm you in any way. I love you, babyyou know I love you more than anything in the world. Oh baby I am so sorryif you just tell me you love me too, I will never hurt you again. Not ever."
Sniffing tremulously, she bit her lip and blinked back tears as she looked into his face, into the sorrow and guilt and affection of his eyes. "You really did love me all the timedidn't you?" she whispered in a choked voice. "Even whenit came over youand you forgot? Insideyou loved me, right?"
His voice was low and husky and full of self-reproach. "Baby, I could never stop loving youno matter what I do, no matter what happensyou're my princess, you're my life. I've always loved you, Avie."
She nodded, one tear escaping from the others [clustered] in her emerald eyes and dashing quickly down her cheek. "I know that, RickI know it."
He sat up, slid a strong arm around her and lifted her, drew her close to his body. "Say you love me, babyplease, I want to hear you say it."
"Iof course I love you," Avie murmured, a few more tears slipping down. "RickdarlingI'll always love you."
User Reviews
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-11 11:45:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-11-11 11:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
shdfduf
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-10-02 13:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Cry me a river you little virgin. You been gone a while, did your parents ground you from the computer?
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-10-02 13:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
garbage
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2008-08-22 13:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-19 17:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But I say YES!
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-08-15 09:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
NO
Submitted by joosyloosy (user info) at 2008-08-11 17:36:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
piss
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2008-07-23 16:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HO HO !
Submitted by tloshjohnson (user info) at 2008-07-23 14:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-07-23 12:34:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Below
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's your sign
The sign of MINUS TWO DIE
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-23 10:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A few things in the first paragraph really really sucked, but I read it through to the end and the writing got better but the story got worse, so.. Meh.
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-07-23 09:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think i may never stop throwing up after reading this crap.
Hang on....
You may be on to something here...
Market this to obese folk as 'an after dinner read'
Obesity problem solved.
You sir, are a genius.
Submitted by DirkDiggler (user info) at 2008-07-22 11:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
His voice was low and husky and full of self-reproach. "Baby, I could never stop loving youno matter what I do, no matter what happensyou're my princess, you're my life. I've always loved you, Avie."
------------------
Wait... oh wait... shit, I think I barfed all over my slippers.
Did I mention...
You SUK!!!
Submitted by artemisia (user info) at 2008-07-22 06:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by artemisia (user info) at 2008-07-22 06:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117747#2747102
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I hate it when crybabies retaliate.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-07-22 04:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-15 03:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
anti bert rating
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-14 17:34:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-07-14 17:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I scratched my ass while reading this.
Dunno if that's a good or bad sign.
*scratches ass again*
-----
Kinda like I did when I wrote it.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-07-14 17:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I scratched my ass while reading this.
Dunno if that's a good or bad sign.
*scratches ass again*
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-14 17:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-14 15:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i haven't heard anything about you lieking or not lieking mudkips. i just have a thing for gingers
_______
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-14 10:04:20 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Aww...I just blushed.
I happen to hate mudkips, too. Did you hear I liked them or something?
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-14 13:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-14 12:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you think using my first name is in some way offensive or nerve racking you little fuck?
Why not drop the whole name, including my e-mail at work, home address and social security number you fucking coward?
This beano alter is the worst yet. You need to take lessons from someone who actually knows how to play the game. Like, say, me.
Nah, nevermind. There's nothing I could teach you that would in any way change how much of a useless twit you are.
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All I read above is WAAAA WAAAA WAAAAA.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-14 13:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Aww...I just blushed.
I happen to hate mudkips, too. Did you hear I liked them or something?
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-14 12:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ahahah that site is awesome
http://www.geogreeting.com/view.html?ysUrokBDUykDrwokva
oh decent story too
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-14 12:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Like a cab driver would ever stop to pick you up, Swanson...
TRY AGAIN.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-14 12:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off Shlongy you ugly pussy
I swear to god between you and a sack of fermenting horse shit I don't know who I'd rather share a cab ride with.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-14 12:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post probably sucks ass but if you're pissing oathy the toolboy off, it's all good.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-14 12:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you think using my first name is in some way offensive or nerve racking you little fuck?
Why not drop the whole name, including my e-mail at work, home address and social security number you fucking coward?
This beano alter is the worst yet. You need to take lessons from someone who actually knows how to play the game. Like, say, me.
Nah, nevermind. There's nothing I could teach you that would in any way change how much of a useless twit you are.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-14 11:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, is there a back story?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-14 11:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really didn't enjoy this, but good effort nonetheless.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-14 11:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Bret, you need to get over it.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-14 11:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.geogreeting.com/view.html?yCmyEBqoUsCUpkDa


