Stepped in poo (308 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.69 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stok (View user info) at 2008-07-16 07:42:39 EDT
We went house hunting a while ago. We were after a house, or at least a ground floor apartment with a courtyard. We found one we liked, so went to the open house. It was a decision that would cost me my dignity and the use of my shoes.
The flat was okay. Maybe a bit small, but okay. There was an odd smell about the place though, which I attributed to the small dog that the current tenants owned.
The real estate agent was busy shilling the place as I stepped outside to look at the courtyard. Not bad, I thought. I wonder what is around the corner? My wife warned me not to go poking around, but I paid no attention. After all, this was the same woman who once told me not to throw rocks at a bees hive.
I peered around the corner of the house and took a few steps towards the back fence. PLOOMP!!! Went my shoe, as I stepped in a huge pile of dog poo. I did not realise my mistake, thinking it was just soft ground. As I walked back onto the courtyard I skidded out on the poo-coated shoe and the enormity of the situation hit me.
'The strata fees are very reasonable' said Kon the real estate agent from inside the flat.
'Yeah...' I said as I hopped around on one foot.
'You won't find anywhere else with a breakfast nook like this!' said Kon.
'Fuck what a load of shit!' I muttered.
'What?' said Kon.
'Nah nothing...' I said.
I was trying in vain to scrape the turds off my shoe, when I saw a tshirt hanging up on a clothes horse outside. It was a typical Asian persons shirt, with "Hamburger Rock-God" printed on it. Sorry Hamburger God but I had to befoul your disciples shirt with some dump. Fucken he should have cleaned his yard. Dirty prick. Plus there is no Hamburger God.
I left the flat with my wife in tow, she was laughing her head off and I said to Kon 'I think we'll give it a miss'.
I've still got the shoes, one of them is okay.
User Reviews
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-08-23 10:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-08-10 16:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WantageJamie (user info) at 2008-08-10 15:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-07-17 07:03:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gee, this went bad. I um...gee.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:53:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not too shabby.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-16 09:08:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well you know what Mr F. Gump would say?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just a few things:
- you have no dignity, so no worry in losing it
- you are married? who to, a semi-retard knuckle dragger like yourself?
- you're a typical australian dickhead
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh no please dont be Australian
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-16 08:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stok is Australian?
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just a few things:
- you have no dignity, so no worry in losing it
- you are married? who to, a semi-retard knuckle dragger like yourself?
- you're a typical australian dickhead
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SPT is tomorrow, unless yer in asia, then i could be wrong
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-16 07:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You stole someone's shirt and wiped dog shit on it.
Are you maybe expecting a "hell yeah!"?