The next best thing to a Zombie Apocalypse. (981 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.35 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2008-07-16 17:24:26 EDT
There are over a dozen blind retards outside my building right now.
I just stepped outside for a smoke break (something that will be harder to do if the Cigarette Nazis here in San Francisco get their way) and had to dodge spiky clusters white canes that were waving in the air and darting at my head. I guess some of the tards are actually partially-sighted, since the stone blind ones were sitting on the ground and leaning against my building like well-trained hounds. The 10% vision crowd, still legally blind, were either standing in place and swaying to some unheard music like undersea plants moving from side to side in invisible currents, or they were walking around the broad sidewalk at the corner of Market and ______ Street, one-eyed, wall-eyed, milky-eyed tards in pajamas who just might take a few healthy eyes out of the skulls of people like me with those fucking canes.
I figure shooting range rules should apply to the blind and those damned canes. You don't point a cane or a rifle at anyone, and you never raise the business end above the horizontal.
It was actually a challenge getting by them unscathed, like a test or trial from an old kung fu movie. You can save your village, Tuan, but first you must negotiate The Maze of Sharp White Sticks! Haha! Aaahahaha!
Seriously, it's nice that some volunteers are willing to take the tards for a walk (court mandated community-service is the only way I'd put up with that shit), but you'd think they'd have them on leashes or something. You could trip on the droolers propped against the wall and take a nasty fall, or suffer more grievous injuries— if you got one of those white canes rammed in the eye socket hard enough it would not only blind you but would break through your brain pan and fuckin lobotomize you, making you one of them.
JESUS CHRIST! That's their master plan, to add to their numbers through grotesque acts of violence, just like fuckin zombies!
It's a Blind Zombie Apocalypse!
Be careful in downtown SF today, people. Wear your protective eyewear!
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just to further my point:
RACISTS/DISCRIMINATORY/ANTI-OBAMA(goes back to racist)ETC... POSTS BY JACK:
1. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118305
2. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118112
3. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118090
4. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117913
5. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117808
6. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117641
7. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117614
8. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117591
9. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117554
10. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117505
11. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117364 (the very fact that you LIKE scalia)
12. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117316
13. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117303
14. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117258
15. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117174
16. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117136
17. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117084
17 OUT OF YOUR LAST 40 POSTS.
you have issues.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-19 03:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"myself"
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-19 03:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let me get this fucking straight. You went outside for a cigarette, and now you are complaining about blind people infringing upon you.
Jesus fucking christ. Do some volunteer work or something. What is that phrase about "I used to pity muself"... I can't remember.
I hope you go blind.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-07-17 13:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That defense doesn't count when you're a filthy ginger, FYI
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-17 12:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-17 11:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Reprisal, for those who weren't with us yesterday.
...
To summarize, why don't you shut the fuck up and just stick to doing "Wheel of Shlongy" posts.
--
You just hate me because I have hair.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-07-17 11:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BAHAHA you heartless scrub.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-17 11:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Reprisal, for those who weren't with us yesterday.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let's see if I got this right.
You don't like blind people.
Let's assume, based on this, that your tolerance for deaf and dumb people is pretty low, too.
You don't like kids.
You don't like hippies.
You don't like punks.
You don't like women and I'm basing this on the fact that you've never been with one..
You don't like Mexicans.
Hell, you don't like all foreigners.
Apparently, you don't like Canadians since you have asked for and received American citizenship.
You don't like fags.
I don't think you like lesbos.
You don't like dogs so you probably don't like dog owners.
You don't like GW Bush.
You don't like Apollo or Shlongy.
You don't like bums or Shlongy..
You don't like most San Francisoans.
You don't like your co-workers.
You don't like "meat eaters" or is it vegans? I can't keep track.
I seem to recall that you don't like extra-terrestrials.
You don't like sports.
It looks like you're not too fond of bathing or shaving: Let's just say you don't like hygiene.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, you do LOVE Ubersite "writing contests".
Did I leave anything out?
To summarize, why don't you shut the fuck up and just stick to doing "Wheel of Shlongy" posts.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-07-17 11:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you just hate everything, don't you jack?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-07-17 11:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Carol never wore her safety goggles.
Now she doesn't need them.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-17 10:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why do you have to be so confrontational, bubba?
============
Having an up day are you, Mr. Bipolar? I could find a hundred reviews you wrote where you were being a confrontational asshole to me. You do it, it's right. I do it, it's wrong. OK, I see now.
finally, the dullard gets it.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-07-17 09:07:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't understand why a person would fall over a blind druling tard person and suddenly http://www.cabbagestew.com/images/shaak.jpg this guy appears....
Yeah I took it there so what wanna fight about it?
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-17 07:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why do you have to be so confrontational, bubba?
============
Having an up day are you, Mr. Bipolar? I could find a hundred reviews you wrote where you were being a confrontational asshole to me. You do it, it's right. I do it, it's wrong. OK, I see now.
----
no bubba, you have it all wrong. When you do it, IT'S STUPID.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-17 07:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The next best thing to a Zombie Apocalypse?
WAIT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT....
Multiple stab wounds inflicted on a bitter old man from San Francisco.
YEAH? YEAH???
I MEAN... YEAH????
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-17 05:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The picture won this for me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-17 05:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was rubbish but the reviews put me in stitches.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-17 00:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just contact the NSA. They have backdoors into fucking everything. Cisco also seems to have an insane number of backdoors into their stuff. Terry Childs is going to get assraped.
His superiors should be, too, for giving him that level of access.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Terry Childs should ask for a plane ticket, $10 Million, and all charges dropped. Then, when he gets to Switzerland, tell the mayor to go fuck himself.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You can't make this shit up...
------------
San Francisco government still locked out of own computers
San Francisco city officials are still unable to access the FiberWAN computer system after a rogue computer technician deleted administrator passwords.
Technician Terry Childs made the changes to the system, which hosts 60 per cent of the city government's data, after a run in with the head of security. All administrators are locked out except him and he is refusing to divulge his access code.
"There's nothing to be alarmed about, save the inability to get into the system and tweak the system," Mayor Gavin Newsom told the San Francisco Chronicle.
"Nothing dramatic has changed in terms of our ability to govern the city."
Currently the system is running well and documents can be accessed but if the system crashes then there will be no way to quickly repair it. Newsom said engineers from Cisco had been bought in to try and get access and, if necessary, the city could rebuild it from scratch.
He continued that until recently Childs had been considered a highly regarded employee but was now a "rogue employee that got a bit maniacal."
"He was very good at what he did, and sometimes that goes to people's heads, " he said, "and we think that's what this is about."
The authorities say the trouble started on June 20 when the new head of security began an audit of who had access to FiberWAN. She said he began taking pictures of her, and eventually she was forced to retreat to her office.
It was then discovered he had put spying software onto the system so that he could monitor any emails sent by his superiors about him. It is believed he then escalated the situation last weekend when he locked out all administrators but himself.
Childs has been charged with four counts of misusing computer systems and is back in court tomorrow. He is being held in lieu of a $5 million bail, a tariff his attorney Mark Jacobs has called "crazy".
"I don't think he's a threat," Jacobs said.
"He didn't kill anybody, and murderers usually get a $1 million bail, so you do the math. Someone out there is really scared of something, and I don't know what that is."
It has also emerged that Childs has a prior criminal record for aggravated burglary, for which he served five years probation in 1982.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I feel like making another RAGE series.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why do you have to be so confrontational, bubba?
============
Having an up day are you, Mr. Bipolar? I could find a hundred reviews you wrote where you were being a confrontational asshole to me. You do it, it's right. I do it, it's wrong. OK, I see now.
Dipshit
:)
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe a +1 but I believe this is underrated. I am the Arbiter. I have spoken.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-16 23:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why do you have to be so confrontational, bubba?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-16 22:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A handful of the morons on this site will never catch on. Oh well. . .
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-16 22:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 22:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117573#2740501
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-16 22:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I read both posts, Andy Rooney.
I just think you wrote the linked one to make people believe you are heterosexual.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 20:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Guess what idiot didn't actually read the post?
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Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't like women and I'm basing this on the fact that you've never been with one..
--
I think this clarifies the issue.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69292
hahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Only a total fag would have to make a post proclaiming they love having sex with women in order to convince a website they aren't a total fag.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK, Jack. So you like women. I suspect, however, that THEY do not like you.
--
That's a fair bet.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let's see if I got this right.
You don't like blind people.
=Only the dangerous ones. Hot blind chicks are okay. 'Deaf VS Blind' http://www.ubersite.com/m/112419=
Let's assume, based on this, that your tolerance for deaf and dumb people is pretty low, too.
=See above=
You don't like kids.
=I don't like out of control little bastards who run amok. Do you? Sorry, Shlong, amok means 'crazy' in this context=
You don't like hippies.
=Do YOU?=
You don't like punks.
=Does anyone?=
You don't like women and I'm basing this on the fact that you've never been with one..
=see below=
You don't like Mexicans.
=I live next door to Mexicans. And across the street from Mexican. And down the street, fuck, I live in a mostly Latino neighborhood. I'm fine with Mexicans. Now illegal immingrants, that's another story=
Hell, you don't like all foreigners.
=Only when they are here and act like dicks. In their own countries I love 'em, and I'VE been the foreigner most of my life in at least 10 different countries=
Apparently, you don't like Canadians since you have asked for and received American citizenship.
=True=
You don't like fags.
=Just the swishy ones=
I don't think you like lesbos.
=Lipstick lesbos A+!!!=
You don't like dogs so you probably don't like dog owners.
=Have you ever sen me negatively rate a dog post here?=
You don't like GW Bush.
=I don't like what he has become=
You don't like Apollo or Shlongy.
=Actually Apollo and I go back and forth. I bet he's just swell in real life=
You don't like bums or Shlongy.
=True=
You don't like most San Francisoans.
=True=
You don't like your co-workers.
=??? Wrong. There are a few flakes in other departments at the Very Big Bank, but my crowd is pretty damned good=
You don't like "meat eaters" or is it vegans? I can't keep track.
=??? To each his own. I have been both=
I seem to recall that you don't like extra-terrestrials.
=Only the city-leveling-raygun-shooting ones=
You don't like sports.
=Baseball is the only 'real' sport. The rest of them are just an excuse for latent homos to get naked together afterward. Football. Soccer. Rugby. Give me a break.=
It looks like you're not too fond of bathing or shaving: Let's just say you don't like hygiene.
=??? What is that based on? None of you have ever met me so how would you know either way?=
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-16 19:04:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK, Jack. So you like women. I suspect, however, that THEY do not like you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I think it is very clear that the post you have highlighted was "fiction".
DON'T TRY AND HIDE FROM THE FACTS, JACK.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Walk around them?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't like women and I'm basing this on the fact that you've never been with one..
--
I think this clarifies the issue.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69292
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yozz and Shlongy, just as dumb as the rest of Uber. YOU STILL DON'T GET IT, DO YOU GUYS???
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:39:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy FTW
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Let's see if I got this right.
You don't like blind people.
Let's assume, based on this, that your tolerance for deaf and dumb people is pretty low, too.
You don't like kids.
You don't like hippies.
You don't like punks.
You don't like women and I'm basing this on the fact that you've never been with one..
You don't like Mexicans.
Hell, you don't like all foreigners.
Apparently, you don't like Canadians since you have asked for and received American citizenship.
You don't like fags.
I don't think you like lesbos.
You don't like dogs so you probably don't like dog owners.
You don't like GW Bush.
You don't like Apollo or Shlongy.
You don't like bums or Shlongy..
You don't like most San Francisoans.
You don't like your co-workers.
You don't like "meat eaters" or is it vegans? I can't keep track.
I seem to recall that you don't like extra-terrestrials.
You don't like sports.
It looks like you're not too fond of bathing or shaving: Let's just say you don't like hygiene.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, you do LOVE Ubersite "writing contests".
Did I leave anything out?
To summarize, why don't you shut the fuck up and just stick to doing "Wheel of Shlongy" posts.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:12:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are DUMBER than electroplate, pal.
v
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v
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-16 18:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your act is wearing thinner than electroplate, pal.
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v
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-16 17:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your act is wearing thinner than electroplate, pal.
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v
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-16 17:51:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WHY MUST YOU BE SO HATEFUL TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT LlKE YOU?
WHY?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-07-16 17:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i've written before about why i hate blind people. it's nothing like this. it's because they're cheap.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-07-16 17:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing like a healthy farmer-blow to clear the sidewalks