For Berty (713 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.7 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shadow (View user info) at 2008-07-18 10:49:47 EDT
I know what you're thinking. It's just another post dedicated to someone who isn't you. Why don't you get a little well-earned recognition? Why doesn't somebody out there make a tribute, a hatepost, an homage to YOU? You've been here a while, and you deserve the best!
Well, OK. Let's ignore the title for a moment, change up the rules; This one is for You.
And you don't even need to know my name, all you need to know is that there is someone in Baltimore who is thinking about you, right at this very moment, and hopes that you're doing well, and wants you to be happy; because even though we've never met/ only met once/ are somehow related/ have met several times/ are old friends/ will never meet but will think fondly of each other nevertheless, I want you to know that I love you. Really, and very deeply, with the tenderest and squishiest part of my heart.
Take care of yourself.
..................
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-11-06 05:59:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I have said it time and time again and I will continue to say it; I want to read about real people. If I wanted to read about perfect skinned, athletic, clones falling in love I'd watch some TV channel owned by Rupert Murdoc.
Where are the stories of a middle aged man running his fingers over his wifes stretch marks and marveling at how soft they feel? Where is the tale of a young girl straddling her young boyfriend and gleefully popping his back acne? Why must we continue to endure this artificial dross that has all the emotional content of a starbucks frappacino (if indeed that is a real word)?
*sigh*
I don't know. This wasn't bad it was just... that whole thing about wanting to be pinned down and heavily fucked by some kind of chiseled, living cage of a man pissed me off a bit 'cause that's such a small slice of the male population, you know? It ain't me and it ain't anyone I've ever met.
..................
Ask and ye shall receive. After a while at least, because I'm laaaazzzzyyyyy.
.................
The couple lay in bed, watching a leaf strung pattern of light and shadow dance through the window onto the adjacent wall. She turned over, draping her arm over his shoulder, gently pulling him from his side to his back so that she could lay across him; her cheek on his chest, her arm wrapped around his waist, her leg over his, twining them together so that their toes could touch. He smiled, barely opening his eyes, and let out a long sigh.
He reached up lazily and brushed formerly golden brown hair from her face, leaning forward slightly to kiss her forehead. She giggled sleepily, pushing a silvered lock behind her ear. "I should put on a pot of coffee," she said softly.
"Not just yet," he replied, pulling her a little closer to him. She drew her fingers up from his waist, and ran them along the creases of his collarbone before drawing them up to trace the thin lines of his face.
"You're so handsome," she whispered, and he smiled, running his fingers through his once dark hair, now laced with long ever-thickening strands of gray.
He embraced her with both arms, pulling her up for a long, deep kiss. She laughed again, opening her blue eyes to meet his dark gaze. "You know," he began, laying her back down on his chest, "you are more lovely every day."
"I'll bet you say that to all the girls." She bit him lightly, just above his nipple, and he groaned appreciatively, letting out a low chuckle.
"No, dear, there are no other girls." He ran his fingertips down from her shoulder to her hips, allowing them to rest on faint stretch marks so very pale and soft. He touched them gently, feeling the texture of the skin, sending goosebumps up her spine. She shivered, giggling again. Suddenly, he felt the pang of a full bladder. "I'll be right back," he said, gently pushing her back onto the bed.
"Do you promise?" She smiled up at him, and he nodded.
A moment later, he returned. Throwing the sheets from her, he climbed slowly back onto the bed, on top of her, kissing every inch or so along the way. She laughed out loud when he reached her navel, soft wrinkles of skin tickled under his tender touch, caressing the area just above her hips. Slowly he came to rest upon her, letting his weight and warmth settle on her body, his nose just inches from hers. "I have a secret to tell you," she began, her fingertips spread over the skin on the back of his neck, winding locks of his hair around her fingers. She leaned forward, pulling his head towards her until her lips faintly brushed his ear, trembling the delicate passage hidden deep within, "I think I'm in love with you."
His heart beat faster, just as it had twenty years before when first she had whispered those precious words. His stomach was full of butterflies, flocking around his intestines and making him feel rather weak. For a moment, they were both twenty-something years old again, hiding in the dark corner of a small flat, stealing kisses under the watery glow of a blue paper lantern.
"I love you too." He said, nuzzling his nose to her chin like an enormous kitten. His whiskers scratched along her cheek, splotched pink and pale brown with the slow even passing of years.
"I should get a move on, much to do-" He shook his head and pinned her softly to the bed.
"Nope," he smiled, "whatever lies beyond this morning can wait."
User Reviews
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-22 04:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They are friends. But when the lights go out, they're much more
--------------------
they tell you this, eh?
sex becomes a biological need.
its the passion and the sense of in love that disappears.
if they are still in love with eachother, then they are to be commended.
but i doubt it.
maybe i am a hopeless cynic who is bitter cos he fucked up his life, but i dont believe in everlasting love.
on the otherhand, i've never been to africa either, but i know it's there...
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:31:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ubershadow.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-21 11:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's your email address? I want to email you inapropriate things that are littered with poor spelling and obscenities.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-21 10:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-21 03:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
bullshit.
...
_________
Is it so hard to believe that two people could still be in love after all that time?
I cite the case of (names changes to protect the innocent) Barry and Linda, two good friends of mine in Virginia. They have three children, the oldest is my age, and they've been married twenty-three years. They were both in the military, and in spite of uprootings, financial troubles, and near self-destruction of the family unit back in the 90s, they stuck with it, stuck with each other, and are now as happy as they've ever been with their eldest daughter about to begin college and the youngest just starting high school.
They are friends. But when the lights go out, they're much more.
And Barry just got a prescription for Cialis, although the characters here are not explicitly said to have sex, it seems that the majority of readers interpreted it that way.
It's people like them that give me the dangerous belief that it is POSSIBLE to fall in love with someone, and never fall back out.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-21 10:32:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I never know quite what I'm expecting when I log into this site, but I'll tell you this:
What happens here is never what I expect.
It's probably good that way
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-21 09:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shadow dude,
aforementioned post. Czech you can't learn unless you're here. due to total illogical grammer and structuring, the germanic mind cannot grasp it without alot of quality beer. it must be czech beer. anhuser busch does not qualify as beer, let alone czech beer, so that rules out anything you may have in close grasp.
second, most expats (or whatever) don't learn the lingo cos its pretty much easier for the czech to speak engrish. unless you really want to learn it, you won't. i still speak shite, been here 10 years and use it daily. will not write it as it is a constant source of amusement for the locals at my expense.
send pix of the souvenirs and i'll translate their meaning - vilem.marak.at.gmail.com
regards,
silly cunt in the czech republic
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-21 04:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wrote a long winded response to this detailing my thoughts on strength and riddled with revelations about my life but then I thought it was an excessivly complicated way of saying that I'd like to touch your boobs.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-21 03:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
bullshit.
marriage or a relationship after 20 years is never like that.
it turns into a friendship.
love goes out the window and is replaced by an appreciation of the other person, but passion is little or lost.
another american movie happy end.
and those that have found that perfect other after ten yeasr are still in love...
i salute you and envy you (but still fail to believe you)
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:04:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shadow = Fey
At least.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-07-19 05:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Missing picture of granny panty's
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-19 04:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I got the all clear, thanks everyone :)
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-07-18 18:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-18 15:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My dear husband does that. It's hilarious yet terrifying
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-18 12:00:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes though, I just get that close, and then start a conversation in my normal voice. A word of advice to anyone trying this though, be sure that you can move fast, because I've almost broken my nose a few times when her head jerked back in surprise.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-18 15:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My wife compulsively picks at any acne, bacne, scabs, or blemishes of any kind. The worst is when she tells me to "hold still" then yanks one of my nose hairs out (under the pretext of course that she's getting some dirt out of the corner of my eye.)
I get my fun back though, by keeping her in a constant state of terror, by creeping low while she's in the shower, then grabbing her ankle from under the curtain, or leaping out from behind doorways or walls, or my favorite, when she's on the computer playing Sims, I like to get up as close as possible behind her, and tickle the hair on the back of her neck, and continue to do so until she realizes that it's not a bug, or catches me.
Sometimes though, I just get that close, and then start a conversation in my normal voice. A word of advice to anyone trying this though, be sure that you can move fast, because I've almost broken my nose a few times when her head jerked back in surprise.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 14:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cite*
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 14:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd do an even MORE personal homage post for you, Fey, but I fear that my skills would come up short.
Fey > shadow
I site: http://www.ubersite.com/m/111745 as evidence.
Though, much in the vein that iddqd assigned me a title, and I gave him a story, I do take requests. It just takes me a while (usually a few months) to actually get around to completing them...
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-18 13:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always wanted an homage post and someone in Baltimore to be wishing me, personally, specifically and individually, well. Warm fuzzies all around.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2008-07-18 13:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perks of being a wallflower?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-18 13:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good call Shadow, yeah Orphy how are your breastesses?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Btw, orphelia, how's the boobs? Cancer free?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 13:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
thou shalt not speak of "crushes"
We are all imaginary.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-18 12:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think berty is on today, Shadow.
Your berty crush is sweet.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 12:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh bother.
What's the use of fulfilling a request if the inspirer isn't even paying attention?
>:(
I'm going to lunch.
Scratch that, I'm going to the bar. Finishing the Friday workday with a pint will cheer me up. As long as Miss Cricket doesn't get herself fired while I'm gone...
:D
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-07-18 12:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wholeheartedly approve with Berty's sentiments. I actually thought the same thing myself after reading my new flat-mate's trashy fiction novels whilst on the shitter. All Chiseled jaws, lush black flowing hair, pert breasts and muscular thighs. Bullshit I say.
Best literary sex scene ever?
Renton shagging his dead brother's heavily pregnant misus in the toilet at his funeral in Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting - "like getting a blowjob and a fuck at the same time". Genius.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what do you get when you mix a brown chicken with a brown cow?
BROWNCHICKENBROWNCOW!
HONK HONK SLAP TICKLE
sorry.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get ready for love.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Old people sex! make sure they use some contraception we dont need another downs floating around.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yip, you've told it like it is.
I've only had seamless beautiful sex when I'm seriously drunk. Or at least I think I did only I can't remember it...
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:02:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AH, morning breath! How silly of me to omit such a needful detail.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, lovely.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-18 11:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fabulous.
Needs more leg-stubble, fanny farts and morning breath, but otherwise fabulous.