Dear Phuzzy and REPRISED BATHROOM CAMWHORE!! WOW! (1205 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.77 on 53 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (View user info) at 2008-07-19 04:48:27 EDT
Dear Phuzzy, I don't like you. I know you're lurking here, I know your 'girl'friend lurks here too and thinks valerie's a skanky whore - who doesn't?
I know she doesn't have an inkling about Peru.
Until now.
I did him up the chutney shute zola budd, yes siree right in his fucking butthole. He's pretty like a girl so I thought wtf and banged that comely bitch hard (beer goggles). Anyhoo's you think some inuendo and risque emails are upsetting? Best then you not watch The Wallabies re-enact that buttfuck on tv tonight (7:30 australian eastern standard time - from the future. naturally). The Wallabies will be playing the part of - *bat eyelashes*, me, and the deporable racist springboks will be playing phuzzy, or drewsy woosy as you call him. The impressive Subiaco stadium will reprise the role of the thatched grass peruvian pillow phuzzy bit down on, and the ensuing 80 minutes of reaming will artfully craft in a blood-letting ballet the bloody great rogering I gave him, the springcocks moaning will be him - moaning, and the biting, well that's just the way you guys play.
Let's take a knee everybody.
Oh heavenly father, for fuck's sake please beseech the sub-human kiwi match officials from a country that sucketh so bad, to not let the racist africans badger them from the get go, nor let the pidgin english speaking kiwis tolerate the boer whores grossly frequenting infringement time at the ruck and maul. We ask thee to not let them eye-gouge, lick or bite our ears, for verily we say unto thee, that it is unseemly and our team is young. Lo, we all ask that you make the magically bipedal new zealander match officials find the flat pass from your current son Matt Giteau to be backwards and fair, and lest they don't ban them for life - from life. Strike them down then and there on the hallowed turf as a lesson to everybody who disagrees, and let some less biased supporters from the crowd in their Wallabies jumpers run the line and take up the whistle.
Yea, hear our prayer and suffer the little children who must listen to not one but TWO afrikaan 'national' anthems, first the nigger one and then pass the dutchie to the left hand side. Check the fast monkey african outside-backs for steroids and humanoidism pre-match, and admonish the racist afrikaner management for trying to field gorillas if you find any inconsistencies DNA wise - with lightning. Admonish them with lightning. We ask all this in the spirit of fairness, not whiteness like you know who. Please make our own tricky rock monkeys play really well too. Thank you jesus, you're pretty fly for a jewish guy.
(even though you and yours should be pushed back into the sea).
shrugs.
well it's not like you deserve to be there. You can't just make a Palestinian state an un-palestinian state.
Anyhow thanks a lot and talk to you at halftime. sweet. sweet jesus.
All rise.
Okay phuzzy well that's about it, stop emailing me btw you fag, I like girls now. And something else. White africans, it's wrong - like argentines. blonde hispanics? I don't get it. I see a platypus, sure, but you're not right. And we call your coach token over here btw, don't be suprised if you see some signs in the crowd like, "Hey token did you carjack that team?", "Hey token Perth still has copper wire what gives?", or "Hey token, stop taking things so seriously WE'RE NOT PLAYING FOR WATERMELON."
and now the promised camwhore, yes to all the haters (FEY), I'm a fatty now - it's winter over here and I've been eating muffins. ps if anyone's seen Ducky please tell her Ima go marry her straight after the game, I've had a lot of beer but I mean it. But lordy lord please don't tell her dad, he looks like Brian (heh - 'brian' - dumb), he looks like Brian Dennehy in Rambo and could seriously fuck my shit up. I'm fast but I can't outrun a bullet. He shoots deer for kicks you know. prolly got a telescopic sight and everything. you know come to think of it he probably knows people who can 'arrange' things. Okay ducky marriage's off. your loss. And sir I was just mucking around, I like boys again. oh who am I kidding, phuzzy? - ring me.
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User Reviews
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-21 10:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-21 09:57:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beautiful Ducky. Ahhhh.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-21 09:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'M AS TALL AS DUCKY GOD DAMMIT
sigh...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-21 09:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-21 14:42:27 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm super tall
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Maybe in a mirror at the carnival.
if you are tall, I am anorexic.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-21 09:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm super tall
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-21 09:35:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-21 14:17:19 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck off fatty
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bugger off, short arse.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-21 05:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My God.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-21 04:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes thank you blt. Pete that's perfectly normal behaviour, who's your housemate - stephen biko? I personally splooged when I realised we were winning our scrums and lineouts, iddqd and I are going to watch some rugby and drink beer, probably hate on some women as well, you're welcome to tag along if you want we'll skip you on every second shout to compensate for your lemon lime and bitters.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-21 04:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow; you are really ugly.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-21 03:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got evicted from my house for cumming all over my lounge room when Stirling went over.
Worth it.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-20 12:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a fucking faggot.
Go suck a cock you queer.
I bet you can handle more dicks in you at one time than method's mom.
Fag.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-07-20 11:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My father does not look like Brian Dennehey (sp).
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-20 10:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
here may be trouble ahead
But while there's moonlight and music
And love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-20 10:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-07-20 10:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i gotta have a beer and watch the footy with you some time.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-07-20 08:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It smells like astro glide and pig skin in here.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-20 08:20:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pf.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-20 07:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
paint your fucking bathroom, wigger.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-19 17:42:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*yawns*
*smacks lips*
why hello everybody, top of the morning to you all. So I see we thrashed the racist clicky-clacks back into the stone age from whence they came. Still, should suit them what with them being back to fashioning stone spearheads and clubs for crushing maize that they eat from those quaint but crude little pots.
Anyhoo's I'm off to the market (tosser for IGA) to buy some gourmet sausages (just snags really that come with a german flag on the packet) for my breakie. tally-ho.
Oh and just quickly beating the world champions was nothing really, I mean who hasn't?
ohhhhhhhhhh that's right new zealand didn't. tut-tut.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-19 17:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why do 'strines have such crappy bathrooms?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-07-19 17:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its quite sad and more than a bit scary how completely unaware you are of how your actions when you think you are just typing random words into the internet actually have a physical effect on real people. What you may see as innocent flirtations, and I am not just talking about with one person, I'm talking about the many individuals you do it with, has very real consequences and effects on real peoples lives.
With your very sexual advances on uber, you are actually hurting real relationships.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-07-19 16:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you lied to me empty-nester
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-07-19 16:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my goodness!! You're not dead!!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-19 16:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how did the racialists do?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-19 15:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Ranger, please email me posthaste, slutface.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-07-19 14:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey danger! how you going, mate? i think it's time to lay off the muffins and stay out of the sun..you look like an oompa loompa :) (i'm hilarious,i know)
ps. i'm going to see some australian fireworks tonight
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-19 10:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lungfish is actually allowed to sleep around.
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Hey thanks, babe. You're the best.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And re: the hating, after this http://www.ubersite.com/m/86451#2543182, what's left to say? So you've gained a few pounds... on the scale of things that's pretty minor now isn't it?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I think someone should comment on the fact that lungfish's wife appears to have a sense of humour... So consider it commented upon.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:34:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not to mention fitting through the bathroom door...
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, Fey...don't let on. Wouldn't want D_R to get a big head. He needs his small to fit into that stylish backwards cap.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Samwise Gamgee?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if i wasn't so goddamned hungover, i'd have something witty to say about this.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, experima, had my telepathy receiver set to "Sensitive". I've adjusted now, and can clearly see that nowhere did you write/say/intimate "cute".
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i said nothing about 'cute'
i keep those thoughts inside my head
INSIDE
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think I've hated you? Boy, you don't know the taste of hate. You will learn the taste of hate (said with the same cadence as "you can't handle the truth").
Anyway, what experima said about cute and arthritis and stuff.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
too bad the arthritis prevents the correct finger from popping up though. at least you tried.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's sweet how you still try to dress 'young'
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-07-19 13:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
figjam
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-19 12:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quit using old pics, DR.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-19 12:31:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I'm too old. Even for old guys, I'm too old.
I say this because I get called names frequently; MILF (I don't have kids dammit) and Cougar.
So, I went and looked these terms up. It seems that these terms are applied to females who are not as of yet ready for the "home" but are certainly past their primes.
When I did a Google image search on MILFs and Cougars, I was visually assaulted with Granny porn and women with either fake-bake orange tan-in-a-can, slurping banana daquiris, or women who have sun worshipped their entire lives and now their skin looks like a Sharpai.
Sweet Jesus, I thought, could this really be true?!
I looked in a mirror and stood there until I sufficently deluded myself that although I fall into the age bracket, I don't look like the Cougars that go out with the girls for a night on the town, scoping for young, tender men.
Dabbing the tears from my eyes, I made a firm resolution to stick with my current, and most successful, pick up line.
"Hey sonny, come sit here. [pats chair] Next to mama."
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-19 10:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*lungfish is the greatest lover I've ever had...and I've had a LOT of lovers.
That is what I meant to say. I am afflicted with some of the same writing/thought process problems as my husband.
That glorious, beautiful man.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-19 10:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is lungfish's wife. The real lungfish's wife.
It's quite sad and more than a bit scary how completely unaware you are of how your actions when you think you are just typing random words into the internet actually have a physical effect on real people. What you may see as innocent flirtations, and I am not just talking about with one person, I'm talking about the many individuals you do it with, has very real consequences and effects on real peoples lives.
With your very sexual advances toward my husband and others on uber, you are actually hurting real relationships.
Nah...I'm joking. Lungfish is actually allowed to sleep around. Especially with forensic. That'd be awesome. BTW, lungfish is the greatest lover I've ever had...and I should know, as I've had a LOT of lovers.
Plus, he's losing his beer gut and he's been trimming the hair around his nipples and shaving his toes with greater regularity. Damn, he turns me on.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-19 07:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O-kayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, so we took the field in the second half and absoLUTELY SMASHED THE WORLD CHAMPIONS, I SEE HOW IT IS JESUS - YOU WANT ME. well TOO BAD IMA LIKE DUCKY FUCK YOU. HAHA YOU FELL FOR THAT PRAYER AND EVERYTHING BUT WE'RE STILL THE WINNERZZZZZZZ. HAHA wake up and smell the give and go you twat. mind you thank you for looking after my mum - she likes you and she's nice.
winARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZ that's us. woot go go us. haha we're the winners. fuck you phuzzy and every other stupid saffa here, fuck you in your pretending world champion butt. we win you lose. losers.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-19 07:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TRY TIME I LOBE YOU JESUS
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-19 07:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HERE WE GO
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-19 07:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm ignoring you fucktard.
take a knee everybody.
Dear sweet jesus, it's halftime and we're beating the...finger quotes, 'world champions' but why is it not by like a thousand? have you forsaken us? Do you LIKE racists? got a beef with philistines? I hate you lord jesus unless we win, and then I'll like you for a bit and then concentrate on ducky once the magic leaves.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-19 06:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who's the old guy coming out of your bathroom?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-19 05:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
addendum: liking boys again does not include liking emission. It's a REPRISED camwhore you fucking papsmear, you know *ART*, it's meant to be backwards you stupid hemoglobin.
anyways i'm off to watch the Wallabies smite the racialists.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-19 05:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Turn your cap the right way round Marky Mark
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2008-07-19 05:08:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
god, DAMMIT.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-19 05:05:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're doing it wrong; that's not the right finger.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-19 04:51:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you bleach your hair warney?