Is Hell really all that bad? My Viewpoint... (933 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.96 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Silent Renegade (View user info) at 2008-07-22 19:51:52 EDT
Let me get this straight... If you are good in life, when you die you go to Heaven right? If you are bad you are cast into the fiery pits of hell right? That is such a load of bullshit. The church grinds into our brain that we need to be good people and thus we will be rewarded in the afterlife with an eternity of bliss and happiness, and if we are bad people and sin then god will give us an eternal sentence in a jail without air conditioning and only powdered soap in the showers. However, if you think about it, this can't possibly be true.
Supposedly God and the Devil hate each other and the Devil is constantly trying to wage war on the pearly gates. So why would the Devil do what God wants him to do? Doesn't make any sense right? If there is so much hatred between the two, when God says "punish this evil Soul, for he has sinned let him burn in hell" the Devil is just going to say "Fuck you God, I'm throwing a rave party and your not invited". Thats what Hell really is, one big Rave with 1,000 soul orgies in the corners and all the booze and ecstacy you can possibly intake... Go crazy, I mean fuck your already dead so who gives a shit? The music is thumpin' and it ain't coming from up upstairs where the single parent is asleep, oh no no no the basement is where the blunts are being rolled.
What do you have in Heaven anyway? All the snobs that piss me off here! You can't look at that gorgeous busty angel in that way cause SHIT! you'll go to HELL! Stub your toe on that corner table? Don't you even fucking think about yelling out "God Damn it!" cause you'll be ravin with the rest of us. You know, I bet you can't even walk on the grass in Heaven. There aren't any signs, oh no there aren't you just have to know. Walk only on the golden road, keep your eyes down, and if you even think about touching yourself where you pee, that's it your done! You are booted out of the rotary club. Membership revoked no more lazyboy chair for you! Which you wouldn't have anyway because according to Dante laziness and gluttony will get you chewed on by Cerberus forever.
I'm starting a new church... The Church of Renegade and the motto will be if shes old enough to pee then shes old enough for me.
User Reviews
Submitted by jason878 (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My opinion on the subject is that when you die the universe will end and restart a million times until it comes to an alternate universe where you still exist in an instant. I've spent way too much time thinking about this kind of thing and the idea of infinite alternate universes and realized that if there are alternate universe's then there must be one where you're still alive and that the universe must be cyclical since there had to be something before the creation of the universe. thats just my crackpot theory though. It makes sense to me though.
Also, you forgot to mention the whole part about heaven being the most boring place ever since you never HAVE to do anything ever so you wont and will just und up sitting on your as for trillions of years at a time.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-24 11:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nah I'm by no means riled Skrap, i think this is an interesting topic of discussion.
I just can't see how any conciousness can exist when the brain is not functioning.
Know what I mean.
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To the christian children aid person - fair do's (or is it dues?), you got me.
But groups and organizations will always support those who are worse off than them, I see it as a bit of a cop out as the Christian aid(s) fund is doing to say "look at us, we love helping kids" (all while priests rape the local kids of their church) - kinda hypocritical no?
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-07-23 19:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You may enjoy reading "Letters from the Earth" by Twain.
Then again, you may not, but this post does share some elements with that work.
Interesting enough.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-23 14:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, thanks for responding, Sexualchocolate1984. I don't argue with or against your opinion on the subject, since there's no way to prove what happens to you after death without actually dying and I don't care about knowing the answer that much just now. Like I said, I wasn't trying to get you riled up, I just wanted to know if there was a scientific foundation for your arguements. As you stated, they are your opinions.
So I'm back to "I don't know, nobody knows, one day I'll know."
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
plus, organized religion is nothing but a bad thing!
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http://www.christianchildrensfund.org/
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
plus, organized religion is nothing but a bad thing!
I think some people need to believe in something and fair play to them, but when you get together to analyse and interpret the texts (propoganda) of said religion you get problems, fundamentalists, religious conflict etc.
I believe personally that there was a rambling preacher called Jesus trying to teach the morals of Buddhism to the Jews and Romans, not the son of god. His's words were twisted and turned into a control device by his disciples. Originally to develop their own power. The important part, the morals, the "treat each other as you would like to be treated" has been lost in the mess of tradition, rules and ceremony.
"God is all around you, and inside all of you. Lift a stone, break some wood and he is there. He is not in buildings of wood and stone he is in the heart of everyone." God being the knowledge of what is right and wrong which we all have. (well most of us) not some omnipresent being watching our asses to make sure we don't fuck up.
Just my 2p.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If there's one thing I hate more than preachy fundamentalists it's athiests who think they're terribly clever.
First off, the horse is dead, the well is dry, ye olde chestnut tree has been turned into a quaint duplex down on First and Hathaway. The whole "comparing ancient mainstream religious concepts to hip modern venues" monologue has been delivered about a million times throughout recorded history, and you've brought nothing new to the party. Just remove "Heaven" and insert "Elysia/Valhalla/Nirvana" and remove "rave" and substitute jazz club/disco/brothel. There's nothing original and entertaining here, and if this were stand-up comedy you'd be lying on the stage next to a slightly chipped and bloodied ashtray with a concussion wound. Second, raves? Mosh pits? What are we, tragically stuck in the nineties? Maybe you want me to get your Pearl Jam and your plaid flannel shirts. Third, where's the thought involved? For all your talk, where's the logic? If you're dead, you don't have any organs. What good are mosh pits and orgies going to do you without testes or sweat glands?
To sum it up, I don't give a flying fuck about your angsty ponderings on whatever Sunday school your parents stuck you in. Kindly sit down and shut up.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-23 10:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sexualchocolate1984 - Do you have any evidence for the truth of your statements are are they based only on your belief that organized religion must be wrong? Not trying to start an fight; I'm interested in how you are so certain of your position.
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Don't start the age old "If you can't prove it doesn't exist how do you know it doesn't" argument.
It's just what i think. Based on my small knowledge of Science. My opinion.
I'm an "if no one can prove it does exist it probably doesn't" person. Plus all religions have obvious alternative motives for these "heaven & hell" stories. In my eye's it's sort of a threat to keep people in-line. Something today's society doesn't need.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-23 10:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"...the basement is where the blunts are being rolled."
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2008-07-23 10:45:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh he brought it...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-23 10:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sexualchocolate1984 - Do you have any evidence for the truth of your statements are are they based only on your belief that organized religion must be wrong? Not trying to start an fight; I'm interested in how you are so certain of your position.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-23 10:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your argument.
But, I like anything that sticks it up religions ass.
To be honest, we're animals, once our bodies stop functioning the electrical signals in our brain stop firing, rendering our conciousness - dead.
It's nothing but the human's misguided self worth which makes us think, "but we're so fucking important that we can't just end! there must be something else, because this whole world revolves around us there must be some kind of afterlife / reincarnation / *insert religious guilt trip here*.
The whole world needs to come to terms with the fact that we are only here by evolutionary fluke! The world wasn't made FOR us, we were made BY the world.
When you're dead you're just a lump of meat. There is nothing out there to "judge" you. Only the beating of your heart and the electric impulses in your brain create your "spirit" once they stop your "spirit, being, soul, *insert religious blackmail here* is simply no more. no memories, no floaty ghost, no hell, no heaven, the world just carries on without you and you don't know "anything".
Dead, get it? Gone, finito, end, fin, no more, deceased, lump o' meat.
Atheist.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-23 08:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I pick my nose and eat what comes out.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-23 06:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If there is a place after this place, there's no knowing it until we leave here.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-23 05:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Humanism is the way to go.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-23 04:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why not give your viewpoint on dragons and fairies next
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-23 03:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
... that and hell has cold beer
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-23 01:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cool, Bill Hicks! He's my favorite comedian. "Oh, chemical chance, chemical chance!!"
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2008-07-23 00:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-07-23 00:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-22 18:37:59 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-22 17:31:05 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm
I always thought the idea was that the devil delighted in the failings of god's fave creations. Satan didn't like mankind and was jealous of their position so it would make sense for him to take his annoyance on anyone he can get his claws into.
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Yeh, but who's authority do we have that on? God's.
Would you treat a pamphlet on the Democrats as gospel if it was written solely by a Republican think-tank?
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Interesting concept...are you suggesting that God has waged perhaps the most successful mudslinging campaign in the history of, higher power...kind?
I suppose it is true that he would have the Jewish media backing him, and let us not forget the AIPAC would be at his disposal.
Maybe.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:33:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MackTuesday (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once had a dream that there was a "trial Hell" you could go visit. I think it was in Mississippi.
I was thinking, "Aw, Hell can't be that bad," so I went to this trial Hell to see what Hell was like. The main building was an old antebellum mansion. That was just where the administrative people worked. Hell was out back. As it turned out, Hell was a tennis club with tennis courts as far as the eye could see. It was hot and muggy, and I was standing there playing tennis, thinking okay, this isn't so bad but I don't think I want to spend eternity here.
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hahahahaha
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm
I always thought the idea was that the devil delighted in the failings of god's fave creations. Satan didn't like mankind and was jealous of their position so it would make sense for him to take his annoyance on anyone he can get his claws into.
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So your saying that the Devil is foolish enough to allow god to use the Devil's hatred against him.... I don't buy it. Nonetheless its still what god would want him to do...
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-22 21:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
For someone named "SilentRenegade", this is a surprisingly unoriginal idea.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-07-22 21:37:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-22 17:31:05 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm
I always thought the idea was that the devil delighted in the failings of god's fave creations. Satan didn't like mankind and was jealous of their position so it would make sense for him to take his annoyance on anyone he can get his claws into.
____
Yeh, but who's authority do we have that on? God's.
Would you treat a pamphlet on the Democrats as gospel if it was written solely by a Republican think-tank?
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-07-22 21:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm hoping that if I rock out hard enough and take as many opportunities for both chaos and solace...whichever side wants me in the end will be better served to ship my soul straight back just to "keep up the good work"
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-07-22 21:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-22 17:31:05 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm
I always thought the idea was that the devil delighted in the failings of god's fave creations. Satan didn't like mankind and was jealous of their position so it would make sense for him to take his annoyance on anyone he can get his claws into.
This was an ok post.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There is too much brilliance in this for me not to +2 it.
You sir are a fucking legend and I wholeheartedly insist on buying you a beer in the afterlife. I'll be the guy throwing shapes by the cocaine fountain in the Grab-a-Lesbo room.
Submitted by MackTuesday (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once had a dream that there was a "trial Hell" you could go visit. I think it was in Mississippi.
I was thinking, "Aw, Hell can't be that bad," so I went to this trial Hell to see what Hell was like. The main building was an old antebellum mansion. That was just where the administrative people worked. Hell was out back. As it turned out, Hell was a tennis club with tennis courts as far as the eye could see. It was hot and muggy, and I was standing there playing tennis, thinking okay, this isn't so bad but I don't think I want to spend eternity here.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fun twist on this..my old man's opinion is that people who try to do good things (i.e. "those damn Mormons") are going to hell because they think good deeds will get them into heaven.
Trips home are fun.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmm
I always thought the idea was that the devil delighted in the failings of god's fave creations. Satan didn't like mankind and was jealous of their position so it would make sense for him to take his annoyance on anyone he can get his claws into.
This was an ok post.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-22 20:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yep
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-22 16:53:13 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the picture made me laugh
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-22 19:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the picture made me laugh