colorful flood (456 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.33 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kirillovian_Shit_Stain (View user info) at 2008-07-22 21:10:38 EDT
On a red carpet there was a black cat with yellow eyes, who belonged to a white man, who had green eyes and black hair, a yellow hat and blue boots. A sickening rainbow of cat shit, fleas, and racism. The red carpet will take on a brown tint after your children track in mud from the orange forest. The cat will eventually die, decay, and become a gray pile of dead bio mass. The man will be cremated, and remain white.
When the orange forest is ravaged by heavy purple smoke, all trees will be charred and turn pink. A river of debris will flow down the dirty creek that was once aqua but is now murky dark brown. The river will flood a village of red bricked houses and taint them with toxic waste that emanates a phosphorescent green. The glow will reflect in the eyes of the snow owls, and cast beams of grainy yellow light on the brown mice, whose red flesh will be spilled by the owl. The green leaves will turn their backs on the slaughter, as they would rather soak up the clear rain than the dark red, deoxygenated blood of rodents. The higher end of the spectrum will fall upon the parched ground in a desert, and it will fall upon the clouds that hang above the flooded marshes of former villages. Black trash bags fill an abandoned yellow dump truck, and the smell of rotted habitats fills the air.
A thick gray fog invades the nostrils of the animals, and green snot runs down their snouts. A sapling is crushed beneath the severed limbs of an elder, and dies. It was not meant to be. The owl is blinded by the toxicity. It falls from flight and drowns in the creek as it is battered and beaten by the debris of the creek. A delicious malt of toxic waste, broken glass, owl feathers, animal bones, destroyed homes, and dead bodies is a delicacy in these parts. The Nile rises and falls each year, but sometimes its desire to provide a bounty for man kind are overcome by a need to be wrathful. The old timers walk among the rubble of their shattered former lives long since extinguished by the anger of an unknown force, shaking their heads with a frown.
I recall one man in particular who had a face with skin that sagged all the way to his feet. His hunched back made it hang even lower, and sometimes his sagging face skin would get caught in his cane, and a large chunk of meat would be ripped off in the process. A few pounds of elderly flesh, harvested by the ravages of age, left to rot on the ground until a swirling mass of vultures seeking an easy meal discover it. The white whiskers of the euphoric old man are nibbled away along with the rest of the chunks. Crows and vultures do not complain about hair in their food. Beggars and scavengers cannot also be choosers, or else we would probably all beg. Nothing would get done.
A land once cultivated by the deft hands of a skilled farmer, is now a cesspool. Mosquitoes breed like it's 1969, and the malaria flares up again. Thousands of displaced refugees wander the waste land in search of medical attention, but it was the doctors among them that the sickness took away first. A cruel new strain that seems to kill its host faster if it's a doctor. Perhaps this is a development that the virus has created, as a form of bacterial altruism. If the doctors are killed, so will the viruses and bacterias that live on him, but without the doctor's knowledge to interferre with the plague process, there will be nothing to stop the disease from rolling across all the land.
A steam roller that crushes all human life beneath its treads. The skull shards are blasted out from beneath the wheel of death, and once they ricochet off the trees, they will impale the baby birds. Blue birds, black birds, red birds, and yellow birds will cease to reproduce, and without avian life there can be no thought of flying like an eagle, or having the eyes of a hawk, or killing two birds with one stone, or spreading ones wings to fly away. The notion will be impossible to fathom, because when the birds are dead these phrases, idioms, axioms, proverbs, and wisdoms will lose their meaning. Only old men who were only children during the days of the flood will remember the days when the birds ruled the sky, but they will be too old and crazy. People will call them cuckoo. But they won't know why. At least there will be no more bird eating spiders, and more importantly, there will be no more centipedes that feed off of the bird eating spiders. Gross. Package it. Sell it. Profit, and you will open wide the gates of opportunity, and the means to achieve a perfect secular life. Should your investment fail, the gates of hell will swing open before you and the arm of Satan himself will reach out and drag you back in. The original sin.
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah... I never really liked this sort of thing.
10 out 10 for effort though.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-23 09:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have quite possibly the dumbest username I've ever seen.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-07-23 08:31:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually dug the fuck out of this. ALthough it kinda reminded me of that Bill Baily Song.
"The Duck lies Shredded in a pancake,
Drowning in the Hoi Sin of your lies.
The Dog has moved from a pipe to 40 a day
and coughs away his life in the Cold neaon research lab of your betrayal!!!"
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-23 08:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-23 08:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I drank shroom tea once, it was the vilest thing ever.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-23 08:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
can hardly wait.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-23 08:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
never done shrooms, but when i do... you guys will know.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-23 05:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey! That frock looks better on me than it ever did on you. Wench.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-07-23 05:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ, quit it with the Python quotes. We get that you are quintessentially English (despite being a Scot), no need to rub it in, frock boy.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-07-23 04:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
KEEPER: Stop! What is your name?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
KEEPER: What is your quest?
GALAHAD: I seek the Holy Grail.
KEEPER: What is your favorite color?
GALAHAD: Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-23 04:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No one should have a red carpet
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-23 00:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was with you until you started criticizing bird-eating spiders. C'mon, what's cooler than a fuckin' spider that catches and eats birds??
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Which, despite my misleading ratings, is definitely not a compliment.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of hurling a variety of different colored paints at a canvas and calling it art.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-23 11:32:22 WST (#)
Ranking: -2
you dont kjnow what good things are you fucking queers
------------------------
on the contrary!
beer GOOD
sex GOOD
this is a clear case of ramming your head against a keyboard and let the spellchecker work it's magic.
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I cant follow the rantings of a man on shrooms..... its too psychadelic maaaaaaan.
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:32:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you dont kjnow what good things are you fucking queers
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-07-22 23:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
first paragraph already made my brain hurt.... like... A LOT!
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-07-22 21:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Umm, what?
Submitted by KirillovianShitStain (user info) at 2008-07-22 21:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hey kirillov, i M drunk