A Quandary (969 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.18 on 94 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by frankthebear (View user info) at 2008-07-23 20:10:15 EDT
Since I've gotten more involved with Uber again lately, I've noticed that the people here seem a little more jaded and pissed that usual. I've thought about this and I've got a couple of theories as to why that is: for the most part, we all hate each other, or there are very few posts that anyone actually likes. I'm leaning towards the former option.
But just for the sake of argument, what exactly would it take to win acceptance and approval here on Uber? I'm not talking about universal popularity of course, that's impossible, but to be generally liked. Well let's review what has been the most well received here in the past:
Rape
Lovingfamily.com
Getting Beebed
Well written fiction
The ultimate MS Paint
Licking a bum's ass
After The Fall
Flaming noobs/alters
Just as a few examples. So what else do you think equals Uber-success? Give me a few examples.
A bonus +2 for the one with the most examples.
User Reviews
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-25 02:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is how you convey wigger through the keyboard:
and THIS is Si. Co. Semen:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114671
________________________________________________________________________
God, Director, stop showing people sicosemen! Didn't the cops warn you about that?? Jesus Christ, it smells like an anchovy's cunt in here! (Thanx and RIP George Carlin)
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-07-25 01:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've been here for over 4 years, and I've never seen anyone "win acceptance and approval" unanimously. This isn't the place to look for strokes. Unless we're talking about the brain kind of stroke. You might have one of those here.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-07-24 15:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I only read up to the part where you said after the fall was good.
It wasn't
It fucking sucked
Read Necrosiac by Snark if you want to see what a quality series is
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-07-24 14:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when you reach 300k hits bart fucks you with a golden dildo and you get to keep it
-----
TRUTH!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when you reach 300k hits bart fucks you with a golden dildo and you get to keep it
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-24 13:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
actually, i'm very good at it.
apollo ftw.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-24 10:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Apollo is a fucking asshole.
Picking on frankthebear is easier than tying your fucking shoelaces.
To spend so much energy and hate this guy is downright disgusting. He's a harmless nerd and Apollo is an opportunistic dipshit bent on gratifying his puny ego by throwing darts at a target the size of a fucking BARN.
Get a life Jamie, seriously. You completely fail.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-07-24 10:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you mean "we all hate eachother," hmm?
I LOVE you guys.
In that special, warm fuzzy way that sometimes involves restraining orders.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-24 08:17:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You shouldn't be focused on how to be accepted, but rather what NOT to do to avoid what always happens to you when you post. That's the ticket. Think outside the box.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-07-24 08:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-24 06:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pre Menstural teenage arm cutter below
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V
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-24 06:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did I say I was the one looking for approval? I mean sure, I'd like it if you guys would stop busting my balls quite so much, but I wasn't talking about myself or anyone in particular
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-07-24 05:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The single MOST important thing is....
You must not care if the people here accept you and under no circumstances should you ask them how to gain acceptance.
Off you fuck....
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-24 05:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I got that impression!
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-24 05:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NEVER!
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-07-24 05:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK OFF FRANK
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-07-24 03:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nevertheless, if you're still a virgin; no big deal. If that's your thing, more power to ya. One of my ex-wives claims to be a "born again" virgin, whatever the fuck that means.
hey, what a coincidence? i too am a born again virgin, second time this week!
give me her number. she have big boobs?
give me her email.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-24 03:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good grief frank
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-24 03:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit, I forgot to list dead baby jokes, those were HUGE for a while
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-07-24 00:24:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have to agree
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
.......
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-24 00:21:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ATF was pretty good in a throw-away sort of sense.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I have to agree with my boyfriend on that one:
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
.......
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:56:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
.......
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HEY! I don't hear any shit-chewing over there! get to it!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh.my.god
the only acceptable response to my taunt was 'glad someone finally noticed that ha ha ha ha' but YOU ACTUALLY TRULLY BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAAAAA
AHAHA
HA
HAAHAHAHAHHAHAAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH
AHAHAAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
AHAH
HAHA
AHA
HAH
AAAaaa,,,,,
aaaaa
aaaa
aaa
aa
a
,
,,,,
,,,,,,,,,
<dies>
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 22:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i can't believe you included after the fall with all that.
you really think you're an ubersite 'legend good writer' don't you?
you had 6 or 7 people pity +2 your big long boring blocks of text.
======================================
say what you want, ATF was a good story and a lot of people were really into it, so chew shit and blow bubbles!
Submitted by billjenkins13090 (user info) at 2008-07-23 23:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Lisa: So gambling makes a good thing even better?
Homer: That's right. My God, it's like there's some kind of bond
between us.
Lisa the Greek
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 22:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
apollo isn't a very nice man.
Nevertheless, if you're still a virgin; no big deal. If that's your thing, more power to ya. One of my ex-wives claims to be a "born again" virgin, whatever the fuck that means.
Admiting it on a website full of the cruelest strangers you'll ever encounter?
Incredibly fucking stooopid.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 22:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, doodles doodles.
I think your +2 will shortly come to an end.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-23 22:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with below but promised before god and my fellow man to +2 everything for ever.
Until I feel like not +2ing something.
Just to make my stance clear.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 22:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
omg i'm a retard.
i meant 'deus ex machina' not 'force majure' - been reviewing our General Liability insurances for '09 all day.
Still.
'Tard.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 22:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i can't believe you included after the fall with all that.
you really think you're an ubersite 'legend good writer' don't you?
you had 6 or 7 people pity +2 your big long boring blocks of text.
you fail at this frank you pathetic fucking larp cunt just as you fail at life.
just to make this absolutely clear:
after the fall was trite, clunky force majure bollocks that makes McCallum look like fucking Hemingway.
Most of the people +2'ing it hadn't read it, the two were taking the piss and the other three were mccallum, bubba and rob berg.
ahahahahhahaha
'after the fall' in that list.
ahahhhahahahahahaha
hahahahaha
no one except you WHO CONSTANTLY GO ON ABOUT IT LIKE ITS THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN YOUR SAD PATHETIC MINIMUM WAGE LIFE (wait, it probably IS) talks about it, references it in jokes or reviews.
You are, and will continue to be, the guy who admitted being a virgin to an alter who was emailing you.
Go away and kill yourself you dreadful excuse of a human being.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I LOVE golden corral....
Fuck you guys ....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Correction: Be me
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I no longer work at the Golden Corral. I work in the Ghetto.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
be me
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop being a fucking bus boy at a Golden Corral and you might make above 6.25 below.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:38:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, I had a Shetland Sheepdog named Mack once.
He occassionally barked in Shetlandic.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
However, when I fuck your mouth, I want you to speak Orcadian with your mouth full.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no I have not but I've never had the opportunity to visit the UK so.
This poverty bullshit sucks, you know?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I most certainly do. Have you heard the Mighty Orcadian Dialect?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you speak the Orcadian dialect, Banjo?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caucasion does mean white.
Or honky.
Or Cracker.
Depending on who you ask I guess.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit, that's fucking hilarious.
Is it in bad taste to camwhore again?
Know what, my fucking posts are rubbish anyway as far as ratings go so FUUUUUUUCCKKKKKKK IT
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-24 02:20:01 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sicosemen was a freakish wigger, of the worst kind.
Banjo I thought you were British.
-------------
I thought Caucasian meant white or at least it did last time I filled in one of those ethnic things you sometimes need to fill in for jobs, like equal opportunities.
I am Orcadian, then Scottish and then British!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is how you convey wigger through the keyboard:
and THIS is Si. Co. Semen:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114671
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not attracted to Asian guys? Which kind? I'm seem some really hot Chinese / Japanese / Vietnamese / Thai etc. guys. Admittedly, I've never been with one so I don't know if the rumours are true.
But that's like me saying I'm not into my 6 ft 4' dark handsom caucasian boyfriend...
I said sico was into Asian women, not guys except for maybe lady boys, apparently a bit of a sweet spot for them. And I have to say at this point, I'm totally making it up as I wouldn't know sico from Frank, whoever Frank is.
=====================================
I am the lord and master of all that which does not suck. so Sico falls out of my realm of influence.
I am also the little black rain cloud.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How can you convey "wigger" through a keyboard?
Was he half-retarded and sag his pants, talk like an idiot and spit mad rhymezzz?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sicosemen was a freakish wigger, of the worst kind.
Banjo I thought you were British.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not attracted to Asian guys? Which kind? I'm seem some really hot Chinese / Japanese / Vietnamese / Thai etc. guys. Admittedly, I've never been with one so I don't know if the rumours are true.
But that's like me saying I'm not into my 6 ft 4' dark handsom caucasian boyfriend...
I said sico was into Asian women, not guys except for maybe lady boys, apparently a bit of a sweet spot for them. And I have to say at this point, I'm totally making it up as I wouldn't know sico from Frank, whoever Frank is.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not in the least bit.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently you're not attracted to cohesive sentence structure either.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've written songs about gravy and butter to be perfectly honest.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:13:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you fucking kidding me?
Jesus christ what the hell did I walk into.
I'm DEFINITELY not attracted to asian guys.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-24 02:07:22 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-24 01:56:30 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmm... taters.
---------------
I had mince and taters for tea yum a lum.
Linus - write the Mince and Taters Song and your name will go down in legend!
---------------
Unfortunately, I have to go take the Virgin Mary out for a walk, so nobody thinks she's a whore.
---------------
While you're out have a mull over the Mince and Taters song and decide whether or not its a winner. I see hope for it but you're the expert on these things so I'll leave it in your capable hands.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Taters - you write like him and you have a dirty mouth like him so the assumption is you are him.
I'm on the fence but then I'm the undisputed Alter Fuck Up Camp Champ so i wouldn't listen to a word I say about anything.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:07:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-24 01:56:30 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmm... taters.
---------------
I had mince and taters for tea yum a lum.
Linus - write the Mince and Taters Song and your name will go down in legend!
---------------
Unfortunately, I have to go take the Virgin Mary out for a walk, so nobody thinks she's a whore.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno know if you're Sico or not. How would I? But if you are I retract my statement of desire to fuck you in the mouth.
If you are, indeed, a cute little asian honey, then by all means my statement of desire to fuck you in the mouth stands, as well as any other orifice you may wish to provide.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:02:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-24 02:00:57 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
REally? And you think I'm fucking sicose?
-----------
I would explain why he wants to fuck you in the mouth and sico had a thing for asians.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
REally? And you think I'm fucking sicose?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 21:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-24 01:57:35 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see...so mouth fucking is the key to Uber-win...interesting...
--------------
Jezuz! Have you got rocks for eyeballs?
LINUS IS LEGEND ----> http://www.ubersite.com/u/Linus
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno what happened to Sico but he was one of the few Ubersiters I really, truly did not like. Most people I like or at least can tolerate, but that guy annoyed the everloving fuck out of me.
Even though he actually let me fuck him in the mouth.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But you wouldn't know anything about that, two below.
Virgin.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-24 01:56:30 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmm... taters.
---------------
I had mince and taters for tea yum a lum.
Linus - write the Mince and Taters Song and your name will go down in legend!
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see...so mouth fucking is the key to Uber-win...interesting...
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha!
Where is sico? I see his name bandied about but never any evidence to his exact whereabouts.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmm... taters.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tater I wanna fuck you in the mouth too, provided you're not Sico.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking WOW
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell Director, I'm in a forthcoming mood this evening.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I shouldn't have to wait in line. I've been saying I wanna fuck your mouth since you signed up to this shithole, and I don't just say that to any girl here.
Well, yes I do, but in your case it's a possibility so...
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...wow!
what have I started?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to bed to do some pelvic floor exercises. When I wake up in the morning I will have a hole to match my jaw. And then Doodles, we'll see who's laughing.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
now now kids, kiss and make out-I mean up
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing is sacred on ubersite, below.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-24 01:42:09 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
No you don't below.
manbearpigs are notorious for two things.
1.There strong jaw muscles
2. Eating anything made of meat.
They also have loose, sloppy vaginas.
------------------
Now I'm offended. There was just no call for that last part! Well done Doodles, you're on the shit list and you aint coming off anytime soon.
NEVER EVER INSULT THE LADY PARTS!!!
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you have to ask...
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No you don't below.
manbearpigs are notorious for two things.
1.There strong jaw muscles
2. Eating anything made of meat.
They also have loose, sloppy vaginas.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-24 01:39:12 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
BANJO I WANNA FUCK YOU IN THE MOUTH.
--------------
Get in line, my filthy mouth is in demand.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BANJO I WANNA FUCK YOU IN THE MOUTH.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, he likes to act all tough but really he's all sugar lollies and candy floss.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles is a cutesy handle.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles if you want some attention, all you need do is ask.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
retarded manbearpig two below.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
guilty as charged! =)
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Linus
24 examples of pure genius, now, what does he win?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how you threw in your own shit series that got +2s form the same 9ish people everytime.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-24 01:25:24 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently, I am the paragon of Uber success.
------------------
Linus WINS!
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Apparently, I am the paragon of Uber success.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bandwagons no matter how stoopid
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
showing tits and/or hole is generally well received.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't hate you...
But I pity the foo'!
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LINUS FTW!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-07-23 20:16:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your wife/sister/aunt/mother/mistress/cousin(s)- female only/ teachers - female only/ cashier girls...
get the hot ones out of that group (difficult in your cirlces but there's bound to be at least two) slurping my balls. That'd be a good start.