Observations on the train… (1076 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.19 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2008-07-25 12:45:13 EDT
Yesterday while heading home from work on the BART train, i noticed this Mexican guy sitting a few seats away, near the back of the car. He was furiously scratching and picking at his head, and after a moment I felt my gut clench and heave— the guy had three or four huge scabs on his partially shaved head, a few of them merrily bleeding away. He looked like he'd cut his hair with an old machete. He picked and scratched and tried to see his reflection in the window. I swear these things had depth, like raw red craters. He eventually covered up his diseased head with a ball cap.
This morning I noticed a woman who was standing and talking with her friends. She was pretty, a pale, slender brunette (but not at the Auschwitz-thin stage a lot of girls seem to think is attractive) and she had really big feet. They weren't huge clown feet but they were fairly large in relation to the rest of her. I'm not a foot fetishist or anything, but I thought those big feet were kind of cute. Perfect bodies are boring. Bodies with natural flaws (excessively-tattooed, heavily-pierced, branded or scarred bitches make me want to puke) are always more attractive than perfect ones. An overbite, a strong chin, pubic hair that could only be tamed by an Australian sheep farmer with mechanical shears in each hand, those are lovely, natural flaws. Of course hairy legs are not natural flaws in my book and they should be shaved. Fucking a chick with hairy legs is like fucking a spider.
There's a guy on my train every morning who always takes the same seat and if a ninety year old woman on a walker is standing beside him he won't offer his seat to her because he is too busy reading. I assume he is a Hindu, because he is an east Indian with a big bright red fuckin dot on his forehead like he borrowed Angelina Jolie's lipstick. He's a Hindi with a bindi. I'm a cracka mocking his tilaka. Anyhow, this little dude sits there every morning reading this thick luxurious edition of his religious text (the Bag of Vittles) and ignoring the universe around him. That's fine. If he wants to dot his head and sit there quietly worshipping his little animal cracker gods then more power to him. But then he puts that book away, usually halfway to the city, and he begins touching his face. I don't mean a random brushing-away-a-stray-hair touch or an obsessive-compulsive pinching or scratching, no, I mean a more... intimate touch. A loving caress. An erotic squeeze. A delirious fondle. In short, THIS GUY IS HAVING SEX WITH HIS FACE, IN FULL VIEW OF THE OTHER TRAIN PASSENGERS! It is more disgusting than the guy with the bleeding scabs on his head.
Jackmath: Diseased Mexican - Cute Caucasian + Weirdass Indian = RACIST!
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just to further my point:
RACISTS/DISCRIMINATORY/ANTI-OBAMA(goes back to racist)ETC... POSTS BY JACK:
1. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118305
2. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118112
3. http://www.ubersite.com/m/118090
4. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117913
5. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117808
6. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117641
7. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117614
8. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117591
9. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117554
10. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117505
11. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117364 (the very fact that you LIKE scalia)
12. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117316
13. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117303
14. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117258
15. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117174
16. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117136
17. http://www.ubersite.com/m/117084
17 OUT OF YOUR LAST 40 POSTS.
you have issues.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-08-03 00:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/story/4206708p-4798996c.html
Submitted by morello (user info) at 2008-07-29 07:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, how many of you know that Jack McCallum is an Author?
http://www.amazon.com/Made-U-S-Jack-McCallum/dp/0738867764/ref=pd_bbs_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217331402&sr=8-3
You can get his books on Amazon.com
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2008-07-27 05:48:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BART is disgusting. do you remember people sueing a few years ago because of mold caused by piss in the carpet on the trains? It made me not give a fuck about the enviroment and buy a giant, penis shaped v8 sport car with a turbo charger. i also took the catilic converter off, and burn leaded gas.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-07-27 03:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i didn't read it, but i'll assume it's a contuniation of the first installement. in which you were about to rape a lone woman.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-07-27 00:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I, for one, have never fucked a spider. Never even tried it. I have, however, fucked a chick with hairy legs and I have to tell you, Jack, it wasn't half bad.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-07-26 15:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-26 12:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2008-07-26 12:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've taken the BART before, met an interesting white guy who told me that the US government killed Bhutto...and that I should stop eating cheese because the government puts mind control drugs into it.
I accepted his flyer and thanked him. His name is Peter...what an enlightened young man. -
--
Excellent. Yesterday there were a bunch of people at the BART entrance holding signs that said SCIENTOLOGY IS A CULT. A guy said, "Have you heard?" I said, "I have. Spread the truth, brother."
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-26 12:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2008-07-26 12:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've taken the BART before, met an interesting white guy who told me that the US government killed Bhutto...and that I should stop eating cheese because the government puts mind control drugs into it.
I accepted his flyer and thanked him. His name is Peter...what an enlightened young man.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-07-26 11:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-07-26 04:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK, listen.
Clearly you are unhappy with your life.
My suggestion (if the people on the train bother you so much) would be to BUY A CAR.
Otherwise, I don't want to hear it, or read about it; unless it is funny, embarrassing to somebody whom I don't like, or exceptionally ridiculous.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-25 23:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't 'get it' below.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-25 22:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 22:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does anyone else think its funny that in chicago all the poor ride bart?
no?
okay then.
<winds neck in>
================
YOU BRAINLESS FOOL!!
BART stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit. It ain't in Chicago, BritBoy.
SHEESH!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-25 22:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-25 22:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You fuck spiders?
===========
Doesn't everyone??
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-07-25 22:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You fuck spiders?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 22:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does anyone else think its funny that in chicago all the poor ride bart?
no?
okay then.
<winds neck in>
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 22:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-25 18:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOur weird and a ginger so Im sorry and Im drunk. Have a +2
--
"For two cents and a stick of gum I'd kick the shit out of you."
-Clint Eastwood in The Gauntlet.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-07-25 21:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-07-25 20:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-07-25 18:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOur weird and a ginger so Im sorry and Im drunk. Have a +2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-07-25 16:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and........as much as i dislike individuals who are too stupid or retarded to get accepted with a real law enforcement agency
even BART cops are smart enough to drive around in cars rather than rides the rails of despair
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-07-25 16:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
so...you've just discovered why BART puts its tracks:
A- in the air
B- under the ground
C- in the middle of the freeway, and...
D- right thru each citys nigger-town
good for you
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 16:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
people probably think I'm making this up. Unfortunately not. That scabman was unfuckinreal. I came close to puking.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-25 16:00:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It is the presence of the public that keeps me from using public trasportation.
--
SF traffic? A joke, congested as hell. SF parking? An overpriced joke. I'd drive if it was hassle free and parking was affordable. Otherwise, the train ride to the city is pretty cheap (about the cost of the gallon of gas I'd burn) and I can pretend to catch up on my reading while ogling girls with ripe asses and silently cursing all the brown jabbering monkeys around me.
-----
I used to live there like 1000 years ago - I knowchaman. Nonetheless, the hassles of driving are less bothersome to me than being forced to share air with scab-picking and face-jobbing human effluvia on the train.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:52:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Boring the shit out of unsuspecting readers below.
-------------
STFU CAUL, YOU IDIOT.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Boring the shit out of unsuspecting readers below.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brown jabbering monkeys? COOL!!
Cousins of the New York and Texas white monkeys, I'm sure.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
!RACIST! below.
v
v
v
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 15:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It is the presence of the public that keeps me from using public trasportation.
--
SF traffic? A joke, congested as hell. SF parking? An overpriced joke. I'd drive if it was hassle free and parking was affordable. Otherwise, the train ride to the city is pretty cheap (about the cost of the gallon of gas I'd burn) and I can pretend to catch up on my reading while ogling girls with ripe asses and silently cursing all the brown jabbering monkeys around me.
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Public transportation in any big city is a fucking trip. The people on the subway trains in New York City are every bit as weird as those on the BART in SF. Even taxis in New York are strange, many operated by some clown who speaks very little English and smells like dogshit. Oh wait, that was Method. My bad.
_______________________________________________
I call bullshit, most taxis that I ride in don't have horrible smells nor are the drivers incapable of understanding what I am saying when I explain my destination. You see odd people on the trains bc the odds are in a city of this many people you will come across a few more whackadoos then if you lived in Binghamton, NY.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I JUST REALIZED!
-2!
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, there should not have been an apostrophe.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your alter's mom's WHAT?
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Normally I just log onto this site everyonce in a while and make jokes about one of my alter's mom's. But today I read this and just had to tell you how awful it was. If you don't have anything interesting to say, don't post anything. (exempli gratia: http://www.ubersite.com/u/Quint)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks bubba, are you going to tackle airline food next you unfunny, rapist, paedo, internet tough guy?
================
No, lardhead, I have PLENTY to do giving you shit. Rapist? Rapist? You can't justify that or any of the others.
Speaking of Internet tough guys, http://www.ubersite.com/m/117796#2750282
Rave on, dipshit.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks bubba, are you going to tackle airline food next you unfunny, rapist, paedo, internet tough guy?
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm glad you post everyday.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish I hadn't read it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Public transportation in any big city is a fucking trip. The people on the subway trains in New York City are every bit as weird as those on the BART in SF. Even taxis in New York are strange, many operated by some clown who speaks very little English and smells like dogshit. Oh wait, that was Method. My bad.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It is the presence of the public that keeps me from using public trasportation.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-07-25 14:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"worshipping his little animal cracker gods"
+1 for that line.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes,the cold sweats have stopped
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorted?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
get in
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
just had the call BRB
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sorry mate, nowt worse than a dealer letting you down.
no probs in liverpool or houston don't know anyone in the south.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i get the feeling jack goes through every day life thinking 'now what can i post on uber'
still its better than yesterdays effort
plus im waiting on weed and well im being let down, apollo where the fuck are you when i need you and your dodgy contacts
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-25 17:50:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did read it.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Observations on Ubersite :
McCallum is still boring as shit.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is this post about me?
If not, I've lost interest.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Jokes about Apollo's head will always be amusing.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-25 13:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i read it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit, thanks for the reminder. It's payday too, Fuckin A.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yes jack, hilarious and ground breaking
a joke about my head.
stfu, haven't you got some sex to buy?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117796#2750867
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:53:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
read it
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Public transportation is for losers.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:50:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did read it.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it. I don't think people read your stuff anyway. And when I say people I mean me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't read that review. Just looked at the rating.
v
v
v
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2008-07-25 12:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it. I don't think people read your stuff anyway. And when I say people I mean me.