Banana Sunrise (and why isn't mindless rambling a category?) (770 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.2 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob Sandwich (View user info) at 2008-07-28 22:50:39 EDT
One day me and Terrance G. Miller were walking down the beach in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba when we found a four legged chocolate Aborigine named Parry Hotter. Parry told us that he just graduated high school and since he was a mormon he was on his fantastic voyage. He was in Cuba because Justin Weitzel took all of the good door to door streets for his excellent adventure, we shot him with a potato gun that shot out dirty diapers.
After we tortured him for a while me and terrance went and got josh from his house. We found ourselves walking around again when we saw Troy Palomalu giving to the needy children of cuba. He had a stand set up with lots of food, and the children were in line to get it. Well since josh was a cowboys fan we wanted to do something to him, like some kind of prank or something. After seconds of hard thinking we decided to not do that and offer him either 40 dollars or take him out to skooners for a round of free drinks.
Well he chose 40 dollars and he went to red lobster like a little bitch. Troy made us mad and we went whoop whoop on his ass. Then in his ragged state he went to josh's house and accosted josh's brother justin, he was sitting outside and when troy walked threw down ( whoop whoop whoop) that fool was out. They drug his ass to the river and threw a paper airplane on top of him.
So the next day the cops cam and talked to Justin and he said "You want to go search for some small purple african sugar glider."
well the five o's said "Nah, we out to go find the mexican boy that got stuck in a tree last week."
Justin and his brother went to the woods and licked a left handed boner. Arizona Kate did not approve of the whole situation and witnesses say that they can still hear the screams to this day.
GT3 was released onto the back of a harry elf, that is when Tim stepped in and said "This will not be allowed in my house, my mom will be home in an hour and can tell when anything has been changed." Josh replied "Ok, well then lets go fishing at the boat docks" Justin was all up for it seeing he likes the outdoors anyhow, but I don't think Troy or Terrance G. could survive much longer out of the guitar.
This is my take on the underlying events; "If Susan wants to bother me again to solicit my information to help her financially i will personally stick that damned water hose in her pussy and blow in the other end until she pops. I don't even care if she quiefs."
Fucktards have always bothered me when i play Jumanji, I land on it every time. And what happens? They come flying out of the game chest beaten' and faggot sniffin'. It's a good thing Jason's always there. Jose is to but they never notice him. Shit i forgot he's with me right now.
Me, Tim, and drew left Troy, Terrence, Jason, Tim's parents, the Chocolate Aborigine, Susan, Justin, Arizona Kate, GT3, the Harry Elf, and the Fucktards to go find the "Gilder Lakes". It wasn't long on our journey when we got sidetracked and found ourselves at Drew's house in a hole underneath his trampoline.
After sitting there dumbfounded, we went to Dairy Queen where we helped make the biggest cookie in the world. That was fun because for some reason Steve Carell was there acting as he was on the news. Pretty weird. But yeah, he kept joking around and stuff and he flipped me off. Well any ways after that experience we went walking with a purple 2 by 4 in our hands and we all held it. It wasn't heavy but we wanted to do it.
Josh said, "man why we holding this."
Jon said "cause i found that piece of fucking plastic and i want ya'll to carry it."
We all looked at each other and said, "WHO IS JON?"
Jon said, "I'm the one who found that."
we got tired of his shit and beat him with the 2 by 4 made out of plastic, obviously.
Yeah, he died.
We jogged around the track that next morning hoping we could get dizzy and fall over. After a straight away we gave up and went home where we met up with Stratablaster. That is Stratso's best friend, i know this cause he played the fire highdrant game only with his best friends. We saw him eating at my arm and we said, "what the fuck is your deal man?"
He replied, "Raise the clock, Raise the Clock."
We did not know what he was talking about. Britton went over and shook him and he woke up. Turned out he was just talking in his sleep. He was pissed that we woke him up, little bastard gets cranky when he is off his ridilin. We offered to take him to Anelina Jolie's house to keep his ass from bounceing off the wall when he gets down some. I kicked him off the island and we watched him row off into the sunrise on a banana. He paused to yell back "Fuck the Police, Money ain't A THANG"
User Reviews
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My god!
Your wit astounds me...
If you have a little sister or possibly a neighbourhood child nearby you should stop touching them and ask them to write your retorts from now on..
They would do a hell of a better job.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:38:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and you are a candidate for postnatal abortion.
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Look here Bob,
Don't get involved in an exchange you were neither invited to join or originally a part of. You sir, are a cocksmoker.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bull's Ballsack, you are also on the wrong post. Get back to your two shit heaps and hang yourself.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Regardless, I'm done heating up a shitty post, if you'ld like to continue his taunting make more asinine comments elsewhere.
Thank you,
Management.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've gone from 'alter that conducts "social experiment" on ubersite' seen below:
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-07-18 05:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Im sorry you feel that way,
This was an experiment in human nature and i believe i have shown that. The retaliatory -2s were conducted to elicit a greater response, and explore the 'punishment scale' i refered to.
I do not doubt the intellegence of the users of this site and i engaged in a petty arguement with sub-standard retorts in order to glean the greatest reponse regarding what i like to call 'the noob effect'. The instant dismissal of a 'noob' as inexperienced, and therefore the subject of ridicule.
Obviously i can't please everyone and i re-iterate that these are only my thoughts.
TO 'alter that is cocksmith'
Don't get me wrong, I quite enjoy the new you. Certainly a marked improvment. I just thought you should know that you're out of charater.
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How can you say im out of character?
You dont know what im like.....
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But I *am* too good to put effort into posts for you idiots.
By the way bulls, you're out of character.
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'I'm too good for that'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......Retard Alert!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not really following you; I just see your asinine reviews and feel compelled to laugh at you.
As for 'all I put out are shit posts' when I feel like doing something funny, I do.
I don't put effort into uber; I'm too good for that.
If you're discontent with me go ahead and -2 all my posts, it helps, so I'm told.
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't posted beacuse i have nothing to post about. Unlike people like you i don't feel the need to tell the population of Uber what i had for breakfast or some other shit like that.
My experiment went fine thanks, it was interesting.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm guessing that since you follow me around Uber like a bad case of crabs, trying to start shit with me on all the reviews that I have written on that you are looking for a fight. After seeing your info I don't think it is worth it, all you seem to put out are shit post. From now on fuck off, you're not getting a big response out of me.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure I am.
How goes the 'experiment'.
I see you haven't posted again.
Was it because we all saw through your 'experiment'?
Which I might remind you proved nothing hence 'experiment' in quotes.
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-08-08 10:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles,
You are the biggest fucktard i have ever had the displeasure of sharing a web page with.
Your lack of intellegence is only surpassed by your regard for yourself. You are the turd that just won't flush in the toilet that is Uber.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 09:52:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I watch scrubs, and I've talked about it on Uber, so I'd say a fair portion of people do.
You try so hard to be like shlongy method and apollo it makes me embarrassed FOR you.
It would be okay if you possessed even just a grain of humor, but you're just as funny as bubba and homosexual as caul. Except, from what I can deduce caul gets laid.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-08 09:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck watches scrubs, and who would I try to fit in with? This is the internet, nothing is real. I don't expect anyone on Uber acts the same in real life, we all hide behind the mask that is our screen name while contributing to this nonsense.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-07 23:06:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh you didn't.
You jsut seem to go to such extreme lengths to fit in.
It really is pathetic you know, like the kid who always 'tagged along' with the cool kids in school.
He thought he was one of them but they only kept him around to laugh at.
I think the kid really knows that deep down, but he can't stand to face it about himself, you know?
That is the type of person you remind me of.
If ubersite was Scrubs and we were all different cast members, you would be Ted.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-07 21:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doodles, when exactly did I blow sand up your twat?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-07 19:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't particularly care for you.
In fact I would go as far to say that I would enjoy uber more without your presence.
You are unoriginal insipid, homosexual and I would bet a pedophile.
Our quota for this type of person is full. Affirmative Action and all that.
We need a new 'African American' user as kracka seems to have left, and we will be giving him your cubical.
Your options as of now are to resign from uber, to kill bubba and thus free up a spot for yourself.
Thanks for trying.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-31 02:50:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Hee hee????
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-29 22:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-29 09:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was incredibly painful to read. I stopped at sentence 5 or so.
You are a remarkably inept writer by any measure and should recognize that fact immediately before you do even MORE damage around here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's more painful that you actually read this.
YOU are remarkably retarded for reading this.
I will reiterate. You're stupid.
+2 to compensate for retard
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-07-29 14:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-07-29 09:50:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A. this was not Bosh so dont step on his act.
B. "how do I delete this post?"
BOB, dont make me
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117624
cut that altery shit out. you may not be mine but you may be someone's.
Submitted by GangsterSquid (user info) at 2008-07-29 09:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was incredibly painful to read. I stopped at sentence 5 or so.
You are a remarkably inept writer by any measure and should recognize that fact immediately before you do even MORE damage around here.
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2008-07-29 08:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I wish I could give this a higher rating but since I'll more than likely be dying soon I've decided to try and be as honest as I can - what with possibly meeting my maker and all. So yeah... no...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-07-29 08:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is one of those nonsense things that kids did when in 2nd grade; the kind that start like "I was rowing down the street in my canoe when the wheels fell off..." and end like "... there are no bones in ice cream." They were fun to memorize at recess and try to tell your mom without forgetting any lines, so she'd smile and say she was proud.
But then one day we learn, just by chance, that canoes are paddled, not rowed. We somehow find ourselves aware that the manufacture of many frozen dairy products often includes gelatin as an ingredient, and that gelatin is made from animal skeletons after the meat has been removed, and so there are in fact bones in most ice cream.
We leave our childish innocence behind and become adults. Gone are the simple pleasures of youth, replaced with more complex issues, worries, ideas, concepts, thoughts, pleasures, and problems. We forget about 2nd grade, until one day you post this and we are reminded that growing up is good. This post was really bad, -2. Thank you for posting it, +2.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-07-29 04:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Zany is no longer cool. Its pretty much old hat now.
Perhaps you could divert time from Ubersite to the study of time travel so you could go back to the '60s and be relevant?
10 out of 10 for effort though.
Submitted by artemisia (user info) at 2008-07-29 03:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Another Banjo alter?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No majik shrooms por mi. I'm out, later tater.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So....
Did you 'write' this, or did your friend???
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Perhaps you should reduce your intake of psilocybin.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about tinactin
User id: 9199
Registered on or around: 2004-06-06 03:20:16 EDT
# Messages posted: 87
# Reviews written: 3080
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 2473
# Hits: 191396
Average rating of all messages: 1.72
====================================================
I'm not an alter, I also wanted to start a bunch of shit with you, but I know my place with numbers like that. I'll shut up, polish your knob, and sit the next couple of plays out.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lo fucking L if you're serious about leaving your shit logged in.
hahahahahahahahahahahahah < not one back space,...god I rock my own socks off. (An angel died.)
I need to get laid, I'm pretty heavy on the innuendos and sex-thing today...on UBER for fuck's sake.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't be greedy with this alter. Your friend should be able to shit post too.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 it fast and get it off the front page, or is there anyway to delete this shit?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This looked shitty and I only read three words.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-07-28 22:54:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Disregard this post, I left my computer logged in a my douche-bag friend's house