nothing funner than chasing a possum. read it or i'll kill elmo (379 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: -1.55 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by benny guardiola <guardiola1022.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2008-08-01 04:00:53 EDT
first of all this is my first post on ubersite i've been a long time reader ever since i stubled upon this website while on boredatwork.com (and yes smart ass's i was bored at work). anyways i work at the home depot and since our economy is like the drunk girl at a house party ,completely fucked up and stupid. so any way remember 4. so i was in the middle of my lunch when all of a sudden martha our gruff but lovable phone center attendent comes in and tells us all "we got it cornered grab a bucket and follow me" so we head out and see half the fucking store which is like 8 people crowded around the rebar. so i look in and see a small possum hiding in the corner looking like you know a fucking possum not showing its teeth or anything just chilling. so i told everyone how weird they looked and went back to my lunch, another 30 mins go bye im done with lunch and head out to finish my day. so by the time i pass everyone again they got it trapped in a corner but no one will catch it, then suddenly it jumps past everyone and runs into hardware.
ok so at this point the store is dead and im flipping bored so i decide to join the hunt for the possum. so were all running down the aisles yelling where teh possum is and i swear to god i felt like we were after charlie being cautious not to make to much noise, listening for the little bastard, and yelling out moves and dirrections. so little by little our group is depleating its up to me, brad and annettte me and brad take point while annette hangs back with the bucket. so we get it cornered behind kitchen and bath were pissed by now pulling all kinds of shit out of its home and tearing the store apart to get that son of a bitch. so i finally get it caught but a certain someone got scarred and let him get away thats 1, 2 i have a box in one place a shovel in the other and a bucket ready to catch him. that son of a bitch moved my box and i swear to god laughed at me and gave me the finger. running after his ass i lost him so i ask customers, who by now are looking at us like were fucking weired running around with sticks and buckets like were fucking knights going into battle, if they seen them they look at me like im high and go back to picking there storm door.
so then im like fuck it i see him walking across the way so i throw up my stick like its a spear and throw it at the possum like that seen from 300. sadly i missed but on a lighter side i hit a 500 dollar door i laughed out loud cause i knew ed, the dept supervisor, would be pissed and i would laugh at him cause i knew it was me.
so anyway i was fucking tired of the possum thing so i grabbed some handy grabbers and was shoving it in random holes grabbing random things, i was ready to give up when i seen him running across the aisle i yelled possum aisle 2 go, go, go!!! so we got him against a cabinet and annette was right in front of him we yelled get him but she frose and he got away, 3. already get tired of chasing a big rat i told brad to grab a bucket and i would chase him to him. we get him to go down the aisle brad was literly in arms reach of him when annette screamed and the possum turned and ran into the doors and got away. so pissed and tired we were like fuck it with the aisle a complete mess and t\people freaking out cuase they think were insane we stop put our aprons back on and go back to work.
eventhough it was a complete waste of time i gotta admit that was the most fun i had at work since we built a fort in the tree lot. so hence the subject funner than chasing a possum.
p.s. be gentle
User Reviews
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-01 06:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"getting out more" is for serial killers and muggers.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-01 06:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Admitted.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-01 05:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-08-01 05:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If chasing vermin is your idea of excitement, you need to get out more.
Except, you work in a home depot and wear an apron; so I doubt you could afford to. Maybe you should just hang yourself from the nearest light fitting and be done with it. I could send you a diagram if you like?
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I agree, but I think a more painful death is required, plus something a little easier, I'm sure this twat would FAIL at hanging.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-01 05:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish I hadn't read the little bit i did.
If you're such a "long time reader" (read: lurking faggot) surely you would have not...
1) Said it was your first post - fucking idiot.
2) Used the words "so" and "like" and the phrase "so I was like" so fucking much. - uuuggghhhh.
3) FAILED at life so badly
4) Used NO capitals, I mean you had better break both of your shift keys, or your little fingers before anyone spots that you're a retard!
5) Did I say you FAIL at life?
Posts list this make me wish there was a -3 DIE OF FIV (cat aids).
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-08-01 05:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If chasing vermin is your idea of excitement, you need to get out more.
Except, you work in a home depot and wear an apron; so I doubt you could afford to. Maybe you should just hang yourself from the nearest light fitting and be done with it. I could send you a diagram if you like?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-08-01 05:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you should probably go ahead and kill yourself while you are at it.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-08-01 05:00:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-08-01 04:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you and FUCK ELMO!
GO ahead Kill the LITTLE RED FUCK!
I didn't read a single fucking line!
KILL HIM NOW! SHOW ME HIS HEAD!
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-08-01 04:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-01 04:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will never read this.