Happy Birthday Flash! (NSFW if bikini clad beauties are NSFW) (2908 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.07 on 162 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by orphelia - bringing sunshine to Uber (View user info) at 2008-08-06 05:53:42 EDT
Happy Birthday to Uber's Uber Male Slut!
Dear FJ,
As a birthday treat, I emailed the cream** of Uber ladies on your behalf, requesting either a Birthday message or better still, a picture, just for you. (Boobies optional but preferred).
You seem to spend your entire work-day +2ing anything written my someone wearing something remotely resembling a skirt, so I thought a female orientated gift would be perfect.
The response wasn't quite what I expected...
Here follows real extracts the reply emails (names appear in no particular order, but Ex IS the hottest);
Experima - Wanted you to know 'the restraining order is still valid. Stop sending me Jackie Collins type romantic poetry or Hidden will be paying you a visit. His eyes may be close together, this just means his aim is more accurate'.
LittleMonster - 'My bra size is 38KK, quit asking FJ'. (I corrected the spelling errors for you, LittleM!)
Shadow - 'Happy Birthday to one of my favourite Uber users! xxx'. Shadow did add, as a footnote to myself, she is only nice to you as she wants to use your digs when she travels Europe. :(
Ghola - 'The bear likes honey, it isn't well fed'. Well, did you expect anything different from Ghola?
Corn_Nugget - Emails to Ms_Nugget elicited no response. I imagine she is too busy finding contradictions on the internet to reply.
Ballare - Sent a bong, which I am keeping for pain relief during my next labor, and some rant about how 'she brings more to uber than most'.??
i_can_get_you_a_toe - 'Isn't he gay?'
netimportant - 'Sorry, sweetheart, camwhoring/sending pictures isn't my thing'.
ForensicGirl - 'Who??'
Method - 'I am more of a Caul guy, pasty white English boys don't float my boat'. Poor Scottish FJ.
Pentameter - Does not 'give birthday greetings to people who use the word 'frock''.
Sacrilious - 'He is no OTRON, sorry, not interested'.
Fey - 'Piss off, ya fat cow'. Love you too, Fey!! ;)
Tatersninja - After agreeing a price (the only user to request a fee), Taters decided on 'Love you long time, Flash'. I would also like to add that this response came from Beano's email. Another Beano alter revealed!!
After much fretting I'd have nothing decent to post for you, I happened upon the idea of emailing the most giving and generous Uber lady (not Methods mum, I'm waaay too nooby to pull that off), Mrs Shlongy. Her response made me joyous.
She sent this picture of herself. Enjoy, FJ.
And Happy Birthday, you slag!
**The author of this post would like to point out that the use of the word 'cream' is used in the broadest, loosest possible context, and realises Uber is simply jam packed fully of hot totty talent. Herself included.
User Reviews
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-25 18:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, be well, name your new kid after me!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-15 12:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck, take care, ta-ta...
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-09 17:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell is going on here???
no really, what the hell is going on? i'm high out of my skull. i seriously have no idea what is going on right now.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-07 20:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see. Well, except for the stubble, it's not a bad likeness.
Actually, it is. It is a bad likeness. I look nothing like that and I'd like the record to show that Flash Harry is a turd-burglar. In fact, Bart needs to just go ahead and ban all foreigners. Shlongy, if you're reading this, I might need your assistance with that.
I CAN HELP!!! http://www.ubersite.com/m/65529
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Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-07 08:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-07 08:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Banj.
I am entirely sick to death of my Abbey Road desktop image. Anyone got any suggestions that I could change to???
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change it to the album cover for Led Zeppelin III or Houses of the Holy
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-07 08:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks Banj.
I am entirely sick to death of my Abbey Road desktop image. Anyone got any suggestions that I could change to???
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-07 07:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol, did I miss FJs bday? Happy Birthday FJ!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-07 05:30:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
N
O
!
!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 05:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
emission, get of my post.
lol
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-07 05:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I
R
O
N
Y
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-08-07 09:27:37 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're extremely funny
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Then why -2 me??
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're extremely funny
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for the words of wisdom Berty. I have already been for a poo; I have a giant mug of tea in front of me; and I have fiddled with the back support in my chair so much that I am pretty much horizontal.
In other news, being hungover seems to make me particularly...how best to put it...'genitally sensitive'. What's the science behind that phenomenon?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If that all fails then you may have Temporary Head Cancer, in which case the only cure is to go back to bed.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-07 04:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't snitzhel a kind of dog? Or is that a Snouser? I thought a Snouser was a baddie in Super Mario Brothers, but I never owned a Nintendo games console so I wouldn't know.
Flash! You should follow the family method for getting rid of a bad head:
1. Drink a pint of water, this is essential for the following two steps and will rehydrate the body. You may add medicine to it if you wish although this isn't neccesary for success.
2. Floss your teeth. Preassure on the teeth causes tension in the muscles whithin the head; the primary cause of headeaches.
3. Take a dump. Preassure on the bowels can cause tension throughout the body and will also allow you to vent the Bad Air that fills your digestive tract; thus relieving the secondary cause of headaches.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-07 03:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The birthday is over. The hangover has begun :o(
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 20:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I do love schnitzel.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:52:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tater is Germanese
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
German below ;) tee hee
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 22:20:26 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Comment Number 8:
Hello, I am EI. Im wearing my sexy pjs.
P.S Dont react so much Orphelia :)
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To your pyjamas or scourge?
I can't help it, I am pregnant and all insecure and vunerable.
And tired. And hot. And sweaty.
And one minute scourge likes me (well, tolerates at least) the next I 'depress' him. I need to now where I stand!! :)
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you sound like a woman all right.
I AM not german, MY FAMILY IS OH HOLY HELL!!!!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge; my nipples are leaking, my breasts tender, my stomach feels like it has Cassius Clay trapped inside, my ankles are cankles, I have more than one chin, I get out of breath climbing the stairs, I have acid reflux worse than Elvis after a visit to Burger King.
I am all for poking fun at people but I draw the line at poking fun at me.
I am special. I can eat as many donuts as I like and people think it is 'cute'. :)
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh quit being so sensitive you big poop. i was just poking at you a little.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
That was priceless
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 22:19:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were from the west coast...man I'm done trying to assume where people hail from.
I live in costa rica, by the way. It focks.
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Germans in Costa Rica? my mind is boggling!! :)
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Yeah, boggling for sure... I don't think a Kraut has been there since their occupation during the Third Reich
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:25:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 22:20:26 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Comment Number 8:
Hello, I am EI. Im wearing my sexy pjs.
P.S Dont react so much Orphelia :)
----------------------------------------
To your pyjamas or scourge?
I can't help it, I am pregnant and all insecure and vunerable.
And tired. And hot. And sweaty.
And one minute scourge likes me (well, tolerates at least) the next I 'depress' him. I need to now where I stand!! :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:21:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 22:19:08 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were from the west coast...man I'm done trying to assume where people hail from.
I live in costa rica, by the way. It focks.
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Germans in Costa Rica? my mind is boggling!! :)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Comment Number 8:
Hello, I am EI. Im wearing my sexy pjs.
P.S Dont react so much Orphelia :)
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were from the west coast...man I'm done trying to assume where people hail from.
I live in costa rica, by the way. It focks.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 21:17:52 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
without looking (because it depresses me to do so) i'll guess fully 110 of the 130 comments on here are from orphelia, that bell homo, and EI.
happy b-day.
way to spend it on ubersite flirting with ol' humpback here.
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What an odd comment to make.
I counted, I have made 32 comments (most of them are replies, and it is MY post), FJ made 32 comments (the post is about him) and poor emission only 7.
(Give or take one or two).
Most Heated means shit on Uber. Everyone knows that.
FJ spent the 'day' here as he was at work. I am busting a gut to finish degree assignments that I should have completed weeks ago - I have a week long summer school shortly (arghh, no Uber), if I don't hand my shit in I will fail. Luckily, little one is at gran's, big one fends for himself (he is too cool for me anyway).
So, in summary, less than half the comments are myself and Bell.
No big deal if they weren't, surely??
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117737
I didn't see you saying anything about the comments on here?
Anyway, back to the grind stone. It is 10.15pm here, I can tell you scourge, I'd rather be anywhere than sat here but I kinda want to give my kids something better.
And i stated CLEARLY in the past, the hump is on the base of my neck.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
without looking (because it depresses me to do so) i'll guess fully 110 of the 130 comments on here are from orphelia, that bell homo, and EI.
happy b-day.
way to spend it on ubersite flirting with ol' humpback here.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's highland Park???
I swear you were british, it made sense what with your gayness.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*two piece, even. :(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That woman is far too thin to be me!!!
I believe that in most States of the USA it is illegal for me to wear a teo piece.
(And I was only kidding on your post, but consider doing the three Brits, please??)
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love your bikini. where did you get it?
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia, get yourself an Italian. You'll never sleep alone again.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is it some insider joke? Do I have to say I sleep next to a ballsack too??
Because I don't. I sleep alone.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:43:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well. I don't know what to say except that I sleep next to a largish ballsack 6 or 7 nights a week.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:42:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was responsible for neither of you, as FJ will confirm. As for the ball sack, I have no idea.
I didn't ask in case it was a joke I didn't get and I'd look dumb.
Just ban the Scottish and the English, that means I can stay!!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:39:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:36:58 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see. Well, except for the stubble, it's not a bad likeness.
Actually, it is. It is a bad likeness. I look nothing like that and I'd like the record to show that Flash Harry is a turd-burglar. In fact, Bart needs to just go ahead and ban all foreigners. Shlongy, if you're reading this, I might need your assistance with that.
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Eh, for some reason I have black hair and live with giant ball sacks, some of them are quite funny, though.
I second this turd-burglary.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see. Well, except for the stubble, it's not a bad likeness.
Actually, it is. It is a bad likeness. I look nothing like that and I'd like the record to show that Flash Harry is a turd-burglar. In fact, Bart needs to just go ahead and ban all foreigners. Shlongy, if you're reading this, I might need your assistance with that.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:16:43 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ballare, that comment is your blue eyeshadow moment to me
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Let's not go overboard...
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday F.J.
and no you probably do not want to see my boobs: )
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Jeannee, I meant my scourge post :(
FTR that was FJ's input.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:21:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
at first i was like, oh no, what is this???? then i loled
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yay!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's a picture of me in your last post? Because truth be told, it really looks more like a picture of you.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't email anyone, it is all lies.
:(
Jeanneeee, I thought I'd give you a rest after FJ's pic of you in my last post.
Ballare, that comment is your blue eyeshadow moment to me :) And I know how you meant it, doesn't stop it being funny
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't get an e-mail
:( she just pretended to say what I would say which isn't actually what I would say
And for the record, I was talking specifically to Caul. I've never ever ever said anything about contributing more than --
OKAY ORPHELIA I SUSPECT THAT IS WHY WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS ANY MORE.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-06 13:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday, Godless foreigner.
Also, I was disappointed because for a brief moment I thought this post heralded Electro's glorious return to Ubersite. It must have been the word "Flash" in the title.
Orphelia, why no email me? I'm a chick. Kind of.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ballare, lets be friends, like in the old days :)
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gotcha
now to brush my hair
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha I just logged into the UberCafe
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gawd, I HATE things that are 2007.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:16:16 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ, don't whore yourself on my post.
Or I will reveal to all that you are in fact, a raging homosexual.
___________________________________
You say reveal like it's some big secret.
*blinks*
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Is it obvious? what gave him away, his poetry, his shirts or my being his faghag?
He likes to say he is bi, as being a purebred is so 2007.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 17:16:16 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ, don't whore yourself on my post.
Or I will reveal to all that you are in fact, a raging homosexual.
___________________________________
You say reveal like it's some big secret.
*blinks*
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It is no secret that I am bisexual. Pheeley threatens me with bum-terror and I love it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:59:25 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday, FJ. How does it feel to have been born on Hiroshima day?
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i suspect it makes him horny, everything else ever seems to.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ, don't whore yourself on my post.
Or I will reveal to all that you are in fact, a raging homosexual.
___________________________________
You say reveal like it's some big secret.
*blinks*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I said 'pudgy' Ballare, keep your hat on.
Considering I think Tyra 'The Most Beautiful Woman In The World' Banks is pudgy, hardly an insult.
And I went to such an effort to include you :*(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:41:03 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear lord, you're exhibiting a sense of humour and self-irony. Now what to do?
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I have my moments.
I lied.
Really, FJ wrote this for himself and asked me to post it. To make him look loved and popular. :(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:12:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just keeping it ticking over while you emptied your breasts, dear.
Aaahh...there's the ton. 100 comments.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ, don't whore yourself on my post.
Or I will reveal to all that you are in fact, a raging homosexual.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
happy birthday.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes Ducky the resolution is a bit sharp. This one is better http://www.ubersite.com/m/117429
It is an interesting postscript to my D.O.B, X54. The day the atomic bomb was dropped. It is also Geri Halliwell's birthday.
So happy birthday Geri, if you're reading.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday, FJ. How does it feel to have been born on Hiroshima day?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you think you could find something a little bit blurrier? The sheer crispness of that one is blinding my eyes.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115755
Ta-da!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:42:34 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
hot.
~~~~~~
Me?
____________
The post generally, and that picture specifically :)
I actually don't know what you look like.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We're getting old, but you're going first so I'm feeling pretty good about it all. And how old is the Birthday boy? Hmmm?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How old do you THINK I am?
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No profound words come to mind, so just settle for this
"No Comment".<tada>
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, birthdays. The time of year when you get to reflect on who you are, and acknowledge just how little it means.
I mean... uh... GO EAT CAKE AND HAVE A BEER. I'll have one with you in spirit, of course.
We're getting old, but you're going first so I'm feeling pretty good about it all. And how old is the Birthday boy? Hmmm?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 16:42:34 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
hot.
~~~~~~
Me?
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hot.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:41:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear lord, you're exhibiting a sense of humour and self-irony. Now what to do?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not that fat
kthx
xoxo
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cheers shadow.
Yes, I am in Glasgow. When you are in town I'll meet you here (http://www.theherald.co.uk/goingout/drink/display.var.2003510.0.bar_spy_ber_glasgow.php) for a drink!
I'm not writing at the moment. Well, I am, but I have block and nothing decent is happening. It's like trying to play snooker with a rope. Just...useless :o(
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I can't wait to see what you'll write next!
And you're in Glasgow, right?
::orphelia, Post Scripts are supposed to be private!::
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you taters, you sexy ladyboy. But I am not English, I am Scotch.
The guys at work just gathered around and presented me with a lovely bottle of Highland Park.
:o)
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh NEW WORD.
ameriental. Made it up at work yesterday while bouncin on the beds.!!!
Your welcome!!
Happy B-day, Flash. Even though you're engrish so have no soul/birthday.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just to clear this up. I don't have any german in me (at the moment at least) but my whole family is.
Small farm town in the midwest; and boy are they quite the bunch. ( my cousin named her kid Buster Lee Brown.....she lives in MO in her defense.)
==========================
no wonder you dont like me, damn German broads...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Taters is the hot shemale, right?
Mmmm. Dericious.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just to clear this up. I don't have any german in me (at the moment at least) but my whole family is.
Small farm town in the midwest; and boy are they quite the bunch. ( my cousin named her kid Buster Lee Brown.....she lives in MO in her defense.)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<3 you really Taters, you German minx.
:)
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Who the hell is beano? I vaguely recall not liking that entity.
Said the alter.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nooo, I couldn't include everyone, besides, she was mentioned in my last post.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you forget Banjo from this too?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Swines! :(
And I am eating pie, actually, fatty, greasy, meaty PIE.
============================
you always know just what to say!
we have meat pies here in PA, they are called Mr. Pasties. (hilarious)
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I am eating pie, actually, fatty, greasy, meaty PIE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love it when you talk dirty...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Swines! :(
And I am eating pie, actually, fatty, greasy, meaty PIE.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:00:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't right now, I am multi-tasking (I'll explain later what that means guys!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Masturbating, eating crumpets and applying blue eyeshadow ALL at the same time?!
==================
thats terrible! we all know the eyeshadow is green now...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 15:00:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't right now, I am multi-tasking (I'll explain later what that means guys!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Masturbating, eating crumpets and applying blue eyeshadow ALL at the same time?!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tatersninja - After agreeing a price (the only user to request a fee), Taters decided on 'Love you long time, Flash'. I would also like to add that this response came from Beano's email. Another Beano alter revealed!!
You shouldn't mention the retards.
It only validates them.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 10:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't right now, I am multi-tasking (I'll explain later what that means guys!)
Anyway, the ice cream man is here! (Not in my house, oh, doesn't matter).
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pheeley. Come to the cafe for a butty with me and the Sarge.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FJ knows whats up...
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt H, maybe I should get myself a toyboy? All the guys my age ARE interested in sex, just with lithe, firm bodied teens :(
==========================
I think I have indicated before that I prefer "real" bodies for my women ;)
and any real man will tell you, teens dont know what they are doing.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Teens are over-rated. Too full of themselves to really enjoy it. "No, careful, that's too deep" and "do you mind if I spit it down the sink?"
Fuck that.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did not!! That was you. You wanted to know if her breasts were real... I think you just wanted to sho me some bird with big titties and a meaty tuppence.
You are such a pervert.
Sgt H, maybe I should get myself a toyboy? All the guys my age ARE interested in sex, just with lithe, firm bodied teens :(
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pudgy porn FTW. Just this morning Pheeley was sending me links to some big-breasted trollope and asking me what I thought of her.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Me + Ballare = pudgy porn!
============================
A plethera of +2's if you get that going!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 14:42:03 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Makes me want to #$%^&* with a #$%^&*ing #$%^&*
-----------------------------
lol.
we should promote ubercafe, pick up where gabbly left off.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the #$%^&*? I though Uber was unmoderated?!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:42:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt H, you have no idea.
Are all guys your age so filthy and horny?
Actually, I don't wanna know.
==============================
Well I wish I could come clean with some long winded diatribe about how we all really enjoy being partners with you girls and shit (and thats a great part of a relationship) but simply the answer when it comes to sex is...
Yes, Yes we are...
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Makes me want to #$%^&* with a #$%^&*ing #$%^&*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FJ! What happens in UberCafe stays in UberCafe!
But, yeah, big black whale beaters.
Me + Ballare = pudgy porn!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perhaps if you are going to use emoticons within brackets, you use alternative brackets, [like this :o)]
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:38:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You 'toyed' with the idea, did ya?
Just give me a moment to digest that. What do you call them again...whale-beaters? :o)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt H, you have no idea.
Are all guys your age so filthy and horny?
Actually, I don't wanna know.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When will the next uberboobs thing be?
-----------------------------
you randy devil you...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/u/F.J.Bell
For those not in the know.
I don't know, FJ, Ballare and I toyed with... the idea, alas....
(And no, FJ, you are not!! :)
Arghhh, brackets, emoticon, what do I do??
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My namesake, below.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 09:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When will the next uberboobs thing be?
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Irony, below.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bint wouldn't have sent a picture anyway. She's invisible.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot LB!! :(
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Birthday Wee Jock McPlop, have a lovely day.
The sun it shines! First time for ages it's in da sky boss. I'm going out to play.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have chocolate cake
om nom nom
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quite frankly I think FJ is a fag of unlawful proportions. That doesn't mean I don't want to roger you in the bum. I need MORE and NEW pictures of your tits, dear, the old ones are getting to become tiresome to wank to.
Mil Grazi
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy birthday FJ, the again, I have no freaking idea when your birthday is...
+2 for Orphelia trying to get pictures of Naked Uber-Broads.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:o(
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously.....
Who?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 08:02:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:58:15 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
That picture is more like 4 Mrs. Shlongys.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would imagine that ladies thigh = 1 Mrs. Shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That picture is more like 4 Mrs. Shlongys.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O's at the beach. The rule when he's away is 'handjobs are OK.'
Happy BD FJ.
==========
*forms line
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha, this was funny.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:16:58 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, and I probably wouldn't make an Uber announcement post if I did.
My babies are ugly
----------
Well you told us you were pregant, you cant go hiding the ending.
Your babies may well be ugly but fingers crossed!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O's at the beach. The rule when he's away is 'handjobs are OK.'
Happy BD FJ.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, and I probably wouldn't make an Uber announcement post if I did.
My babies are ugly.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAVENT YOU GIVEN BIRTH YET!!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is actually a very nice pic of me. Perhaps I can just photoshop Pheeley's face onto it in place of hers. THEN my birthday fantasy will be realised.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-06 12:09:58 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
one day closer to death
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Sunshine' people, I said 'sunshine'!
It's the new me :)
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
one day closer to death
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or her legs soaked in hairspray and a box of matches on standby. It's your birthday and your revenge fantasy.
Perhaps you could simply bury her alive?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'...with her legs in the air, doing a poo?'
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perhaps they are going to send you another one saying "guess who I've got tied up in my bath?"
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 07:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone just sent me a picure they had of me with an ex-girlfriend. Why would they do that?!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! Very good.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I'll cry if I want to.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:33:00 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
EI, why do you have to be a trite wee saddo all the time?
--------------------
Oh shush Mary Jane.
Make love, its your birthday.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The first few lines made my expectations rise. My nickname for my penis is "my expectations"
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is fine. I am in there alone, talking to myself. I wonder if the sites are affiliated.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 11:34:26 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I hang about in this chatroom on my own, pretending to talk to people. I find it hilarious.
http://www.ubercafe.net/flashchat.php
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dare not click...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:34:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh oh, no rowing on this post please.
Take your exercise elsewhere.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I hang about in this chatroom on my own, pretending to talk to people. I find it hilarious.
http://www.ubercafe.net/flashchat.php
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EI, why do you have to be a trite wee saddo all the time?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto bikini plus2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:30:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Think we are too busy today, Em.
And Uber is sooooooo slooooooooow.
To JellyBattle!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It wont bomb, you two can heat it up nicely, no doubt.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugh, don't lower the tone of my post, FJ.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ugh, FJ, don't lower the tone of my post.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I will accept full blame.
Are you going to send that picture of you squirting over my camwhore privately, then?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If this post bombs, FJ, it will be entirely your fault.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah. Uber means 'ultimate' or something, doesn't it?
Maltesers - check.
Happy birthday ambiguously purple shirt - check.
A Pheeley post - check.
Happy days, indeed.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I really have no idea.
I bought FJ a haircut for his birthday :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-06 06:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Doesn't Uber mean 'best'?
Well I can't think of another male who sluts around as much as FJ does, though his success rate is debatable.
My pleasure, FJ, you poof. :)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-08-06 05:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uber's Uber Male Slut!
--------
??
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-06 05:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is absolutely delightful.
Thank you SO much :o)