Claptrap and Poppycock (1230 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.35 on 106 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <aimeeliddell.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2008-08-07 11:42:56 EDT
"I guess all's I can say is that I understand," he lied, swallowing hard at the lump in the back of his throat. He wrestled with the rejection, eventually submitting to it, waving the metaphorical white flag, and hoping to appear dignified, at least on the surface. "It's just that I don't know if I can do it," she managed, her voice cracking. "I'm scared as shit. I don't even know why I'm telling you I'm scared...I just am, and I don't want to find out the hard way the worst that could happen. I'm sorry, Ethan, I really am. I just think it would be better for everyone...us, our friends...if we just stopped where we were and took a breath, and just stayed friends," she said. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled, tears streaming down her rosy cheeks.
Heather's cheeks were the only thing rosy about her; inside, she was a mess of emotion. She looked up at the cloudless blue sky in an attempt to stop her tears, pausing for a moment to gaze at the large, leafy oak tree yards behind Ethan. 'There's nothing sad about the tree branch,' she thought to herself. She often did this when she was trying to control her emotions. Something about staring at inanimate objects--sometimes even animate ones--helped her regroup and fight back tears. Sad movies, songs or anything that evoked near overwhelming emotions could be offset by looking for a few moments at the nearest wall or ceiling tile and focusing on how plain and everyday and ordinary it was. She quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes, examining for a moment the bits of mascara floating in the tears on her fingers. She wiped her hands on her pants and in one quick motion grabbed her purse and quickly, a compact, and powdered her nose so it wouldn't look so red.
Ethan sat hunched over in the chair in front of her, head down, hands clasped. He listened to her sniffling, fumbling around in her purse in a furious attempt to regain composure. He felt empty inside; numb. He didn't even know what to feel, much less what to say. This had never happened to him before. Historically, women had fallen at his feet; they'd always been at his beck and call. As it were, he didn't have her to choose from. Somehow, this equally devastated and intrigued him. He clasped his hands together firmly, gritting his teeth. He then scooted his chair back and stood up to go inside and grab a beer from the refrigerator, inhaling loudly. "Want something to drink?" he asked. She cleared her throat. "Um, yeah...I don't know...what do they have?" she replied, looking up at him from her compact. "Just beer and water, I think. There might be some lemonade or something," he said, already halfway inside. "Water's good," she mumbled. She put away her compact and set her purse back down on the deck. She leaned back and rested her head against the back of her chair, losing herself while gazing at the still, deep blue of the pool to her left.
He fumbled around in the refrigerator, not really concentrating on the water she'd requested, or his beer. 'Damn,' he thought to himself. He grabbed a Sierra Nevada and an Evian and without thinking set them down on the counter, closed the refrigerator door and went into the bathroom. He looked down at the sink, using both hands on the bathroom counter to steady himself. He stared for a minute at the drops falling out from the faucet and down into the drain. He glanced up at his reflection in the mirror, still feeling numb. He felt nothing. "I feel nothing," he said aloud to himself. He lost himself in his own reflection, recounting the first time ever meeting her.
'Wow,' he thought, as she stumbled in drunk from the rainy Friday night, laughing with her friend Carla. "So you must be the infamous Ethan Meade," she scoffed, hand extended, their eyes locked. He grabbed her hand and shook it, holding it for a moment too long, then let go. "Yes...you must be Heather, and you're most definitely drunk," he countered. He had a slight sort of lisp when he spoke, which she found charming.
She was always on her toes with him, continuously self-aware, perpetually considering his reputation, constantly acting with a purpose, carefully choosing each word and every response. Walking on egg shells, she was indeed.
Heather saw in him a quiet vulnerability that she initially attributed to his astrological designation. She had requested his date of birth soon after they met so she could attempt to figure him out, a task she soon found to be fruitless and impossible. Eventually, she decided she didn't want to figure him out after all; she liked his enigmatic nature. Ethan had the je ne sais quoi, a trait Heather herself possessed. With each other, they had met their match.
"Here's your water," he said, nudging the cold bottle of water against her bare shoulder. She took it and opened it without looking away from the pool. She held the bottle in her hand for a while, dropping her gaze to the deck beneath her. She raised her eyes to Ethan, who sat back down, his eyes fixated on hers. They were both silent, still; each waiting for the other to break the silence. They were equally stubborn; neither of them breathed a word. She shifted her gaze back to the oak tree, focusing on its limbs, the green of the leaves, the breeze through the branches. She took a big sip of water, swallowing hard at the lump in the back of her throat. 'There's nothing sad about the tree branch,' she thought.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-08-11 19:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck? This was so unbelievably pointless. I want the minute it took to decipher this ironically truly named poppycock and claptrap back.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-09 23:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to presume you're a real person.
Now, under this presumption I am going to offer you some advice.
Just because you have a thesaurus and get 'word of the day' form dictionary.com, does NOT mean you should try and use unwieldy or that are arcane...like arcane. The primary reason is that most people won't be able to comprehend what you're trying to say.
The secondary reason is that you'll most likely fuck it up because you don't fully understand all the implications of the word yourself.
Comprende?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2008-08-09 18:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-09 17:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fey, I would never try to treat the rest of the world as if it doesn't have a brain. My below post/surmise was merely an attempt to allow the rest of the world into MY brain and MY thought processes. Down, guard.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-09 16:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You cannot ignore something of which you are unaware. That small native family in central Africa that you are ignorant of. Ignore and ignorant are not the same.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-09 16:14:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop treating the rest of the world like it doesn't have a brain, it won't make life easier for you. Trust me on this one.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-09 16:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And just to monopolize this post, let me say one more thing.
You argue that ignore and ignorant are not necessarily the same meaning. I can go along with that conjecture perhaps, but let me offer you my perspective. My brand of brilliance, if you will. Ignore is indeed the root word for ignorant. The main difference in the word ignore and ignorant is intent. Typically when someone is ignoring a person, they are intending to do so. Likewise, when a person is ignorant of a fact, they DO NOT intend to do so. However, when someone is ignorant of a fact, the fact is ignored, whether they had intended to ignore it or not. Intent is the main difference.
Follow me?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-09 15:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys prefer obviated meanings while I prefer more obvious ones. Logic and reason trump intuition in my book.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-09 14:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, yeah. I guess you guys got me...eh. Whatever. I'm not that much of a fighter...I dont mind getting trounced upon every now and again...it keeps me humble. Touche, the lot of you. I used a word the wrong way, oh no. Semantics. I love it.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-09 13:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ob·vi·ate Audio Help /ˈɒbviˌeɪt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ob-vee-eyt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-verb (used with object), -at·ed, -at·ing.
to anticipate and prevent or eliminate (difficulties, disadvantages, etc.) by effective measures; render unnecessary: to obviate the risk of serious injury.
[Origin: 1590-1600; < L obviātus, ptp. of obviāre to act contrary to, deriv. of obvius; see obvious, -ate1]
—Related forms
ob·vi·a·ble Audio Help /ˈɒbviəbəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ob-vee-uh-buhl] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation, adjective
ob·vi·a·tion, noun
ob·vi·a·tor, noun
—Synonyms preclude, avert, anticipate.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-09 11:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
BTW, Aimee is the French spelling and means 'beloved'. The French may pronounce it differently, just as the proper pronunciation of 'Doodles' would be spelled" P-O-O-P.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-09 11:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-09 11:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right, dull DOES mean not sharp and dim DOES mean not bright.
However NEITHER of them are meant in a literal sense when speaking of intelligence.
Therefore your preference is illogical as they are indistinguishable.
But then I would expect something like that from a dull-witted person.
=====================
What if one is dumber than a small bag of marbles? Huh?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-09 11:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I always use Bubba's Dictionary For The Slope-shouldered Slack-jawed Redneck.
The root doesn't always determine the final meaning of the word.
Ignore---Ignorant. Being ignorant doesn't mean you necessarily ignored something.
It is obvious that you meant obvious.
:)
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-09 11:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right, dull DOES mean not sharp and dim DOES mean not bright.
However NEITHER of them are meant in a literal sense when speaking of intelligence.
Therefore your preference is illogical as they are indistinguishable.
But then I would expect something like that from a dull-witted person.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-09 10:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba: What dictionary are you using that obviated isn't a derivative of the word "obvious"? Wow.
Doodles: Everyone's entitled to their own opinion as to the spelling of my name. I much enjoy its obscurity, thanks. BTW: Dull means not sharp; dim means not bright. I'd prefer if someone was calling me not BRIGHT than not SHARP, because I know I'm sharp as a tack. To others though, my brightness/brilliance may be in question; you're just not yet used to my brand, I suppose.
Rob: Nice warm welcome disguised as cold comfort. Thanks.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-08-08 21:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Obviated was a terrible word to use.
Otherwise you seem tolerably precocious.
Welcome.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-08-08 20:29:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Sgt, I get bored a lot during the day too, hence my affinity for this site. My email address is obviated in my post. Feel free to email me. This DOESN'T go for everyone.
===============================
You used the wrong word, as others were trying to tell you. Obviated means hidden. You meant obvious. Retard.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 12:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
On a different note how is do you prefer dry witted, or dim-witted as opposed to dull-witted.
I understand dry-witted, as you might *think* you have a dry sense of humor.
But you do realise that dull-witted and dim-witted mean the same thing, yes?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-08 12:23:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't say I care enough about you to spell check your name.
Either way odds are that you're black or your parents were illiterate based on the ridiculous way that they decided to spell 'Amy'
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-08 11:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why is "I felt nothing" in quotations when the properly quoted work should be "I feel nothing"?
Go to the doctor for your clap, then go fuck yourself so you don't get it again.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-08 04:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This gave me the clap.
Seriously, I read all that and "I felt nothing."
Off you fuck.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-08-08 01:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
go fuck yourself
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-08-08 00:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
eh
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-08 00:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Except that it's not. It's Aimee, not Amiee. You're not the first (and certainly won't be the last) idiot to make that mistake. Your second mistake was calling me dull-witted. I prefer dry witted, or dim-witted. Dull...no. Change 'er up and get back to me.
No camwhores.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-07 23:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You seem like an okay if dull-witted girl amiee, if that IS your real name.
Don't post a camwhore unless you plan on being like gnarls or actually writing amusing things.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2008-08-07 18:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heather saw in him a quiet vulnerability that she initially attributed to his astrological designation.
__________________
This didn't so much make me smile as think that 'Heather' is a total idiot.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2008-08-07 17:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, post.
Made me laugh, below.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear god, are there no new users here ever?
why all alters why?
someone run out front and see if there is a "closed-private party" sign on the front door
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 16:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, you're just Gay. Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!! I guess by sheer deductive reasoning, that wuold make you French, too.
BUT it could be like the square/rectangle paradox (of sorts). You know...where a square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square.
To that end, I guess an appropriate conjecture could be as follows:
French : Square :: Gay : Rectangle.
You follow?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-07 16:28:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It says so right on the label.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-07 16:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but you ARE Gay.
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 16:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not French!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 15:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Guess if French = Gay, I am Gay. But...I'm NOT Gay...the individual below you is Gay...so...wait...I've just confused myself. French = Gay...check. Gay = Gay, check. I am gay? Am I? No, no homo. No check.
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Around here, anything 'French' is immediately laughed at and called gay.
So:
HAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE GAY
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BTW...if your real name is 'Aimee' then I'd be pissed off at my parents if I were you.
I mean, who the fuck spells 'Amy' that way? Why use 5 letters when 3 will do?
Idiots. Their brood is apparently spilling over into Ubersite in heightened frequency these days.
===========
bwahahahahaha
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, I used to be pissed at my parents, but now I like my name very much, thanks. 3 may "do", but I like that it's spelled the French way.
Aaaahh, I love banter. :)
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BTW...if your real name is 'Aimee' then I'd be pissed off at my parents if I were you.
I mean, who the fuck spells 'Amy' that way? Why use 5 letters when 3 will do?
Idiots. Their brood is apparently spilling over into Ubersite in heightened frequency these days.
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:32:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Whoever this 'Ethan' dude is, he sounds like a supreme toolpouch.
Thank fucking god I don't know anyone like that.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yikes.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I just weep from both nipples and eyes.
:*(
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 19:11:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia, you are a brick wall of emotions
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HORMONES.
_________________
Sweet!
Does that mean you put out?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 19:11:07 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia, you are a brick wall of emotions
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HORMONES.
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia, you are a brick wall of emotions. Let's finger paint with each other's fecal color instead of make up sex, okay?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 19:04:22 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
sico you're my boy and all but I'll not stand idly by and let you defame Orphelias vagine.
she has passed life from within that womb.
------------------------------------------
ugh, only one passed through that way the other (and the one I am due to harvest) are strictly c section.
I am too posh to push.
(sico and oathy hurt my e feelings and I *nearly* self harmed)
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 14:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sico you're my boy and all but I'll not stand idly by and let you defame Orphelias vagine.
she has passed life from within that womb.
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Orphelia!!
:( :( :( :(
I was only laughing at his comment!
Now I'm sad.
I like you like a fat kid likes cake!!
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to rape below.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sico and oathy can both fuck the hell right off.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ethan's actually a pretty good guy. Heather is the weirdo scaredy cat who probably has the same "the glass has a fucking hole in it" outlook on life that I do.
Perineum, I am indeed a bitch. You won that argument...what else you got?
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not until you send the OTHER picture of your gash to my email, Whorephelia. I printed the last one out (and even shrunk it to 1/2 of normal size) and laid it on the floor just to see how many people would walk around it thinking it was a pothole. Turns out to have 96.2% success rate.
_________________________
FUCKING.
GOLD.
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And one more thing before I get back to work.
Ethan sounds like an asshole!
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This 'sage104' chick sounds like a truly abhorrent and unattractive bitch of historic proportions.
I wonder if she's ever had the pleasure of having her head crammed up her own ass.
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:35:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1/2 empty - nah
1/2 full - nah
==========================
Time for a mother fucking refill - yup
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not until you send the OTHER picture of your gash to my email, Whorephelia. I printed the last one out (and even shrunk it to 1/2 of normal size) and laid it on the floor just to see how many people would walk around it thinking it was a pothole. Turns out to have 96.2% success rate. That's a mighty big bajiner you have there woman.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yup, love the word. Wanna know another good one? Sapient. It's synonomous with sage, which as you know, is my uber moniker. I am aka the jaded sage. Hence my "the glass has a fucking hole in it" outlook on life.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
obviated.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bugger off, sico
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orphelia is just pissy because she has what would equate to 7 hours of mill work or 320 lbs. of saw dust in her cunny.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, who cares? Not me!
What, me worry?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
email address is obviated in my post. Feel free to email me. This DOESN'T go for everyone.
-----------------------------------------------------
i hope you get shit loads of spam, you kept it up there, can't pick and choose.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, Sgt, I get bored a lot during the day too, hence my affinity for this site. My email address is obviated in my post. Feel free to email me. This DOESN'T go for everyone.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:11:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're making me jealous, Sgt. You have knowledge that I don't have. And you're USING it!! I wish I knew how... :(
=====================
I really dont use it, well maybe with a few users but honestly I dont.
feel free to E-mail anytime. I get bored alot during the day.
perhaps I should start working out.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What a FABULOUS idea, Gay!! I shall be sure to find a willing candidate straight away.
Submitted by Gay (user info) at 2008-08-07 13:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope someone uses your vagina for a shitter in the middle of winter that way you can use your vagina to poo out a poopsicle.
The end!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're making me jealous, Sgt. You have knowledge that I don't have. And you're USING it!! I wish I knew how... :(
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok so how do I reply to someone directly on this site? See, I really am a newbie. Or noob, as you've affectionately termed it.
==============================
e-mail.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok so how do I reply to someone directly on this site? See, I really am a newbie. Or noob, as you've affectionately termed it.
Shlongy: few will enter, but all will win. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's the story with your big hole?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I am a natural blonde.
Let me clarify: I said "I am 100% wrong". I meant that I was 100% wrong when I pinned Sgt as the one who inquired as to whether or not I was "the blonde on Facebook with the big lips". In retrospect, my lips might be big, in his opinion. I shouldn't have been so hasty in my declaration that I do not have big lips. "Big-ness" can be relative.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So, you're not blonde?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha! The irony. I am 100% wrong. I stand corrected.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sgt (I think): I don't have big lips, but I am blonde. You are 50% wrong.
-----------------------
that wasnt me, sweetcheeks.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, my glass is neither half empty nor half full...it has a fucking hole in it.
Shlongy...fine. I'll show you my hole. :o There.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for fucks sake!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sgt (I think): I don't have big lips, but I am blonde. You are 50% wrong.
-----------------------------
You are obviously a "glass half empty" kinda person.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Follow the Uber rules or GTFO.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just gave myself a 2, Fallen. Thanks for yours, though.
O: no I'm not a Brit. I'm of French and Irish descent, but I'm from the US.
Shl: Log off and never return, why? Because I won't show you my hole?
Sgt (I think): I don't have big lips, but I am blonde. You are 50% wrong.
No pics, or "camwhores". And I like $10 words. I subscribe to dictionary.com's word of the day and feel smarter for it.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh sorry,
admitting you are a cute girl will atract all kinds of attention.
the cam whore is up to you but be aware of what could take place to your image.
good luck
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:20:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a female, and I'm quite cute, if I do say so myself. And smart. But I will not show Shlongy my hole.
--------------------------
a camwhore is required for verification.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Then log off and never return.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:17:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
in the end, they all show their hole.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
real is a subjective term here.
You'll see.
look I gave you a +2
yea me.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus, are you a Brit?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you the blonde on facebook with the big lips?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aren't we ALL real people?
I've seen the hate, I embrace the hate. I SIGNED UP for the hate. I wont run screaming back to Facebook...I hate Facebook anyway.
I am a female, and I'm quite cute, if I do say so myself. And smart. But I will not show Shlongy my hole.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would drop the $10 words, no one will be impressed.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:12:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope you are a real person, we need new blood.
unfortunatly most true noobs get devastated by the hate on the first post and run screaming back to facebook or wherever they come from.
if you are real, skate it off, post again, repeat as needed.
if you are female you will be expected to show Shlongy your hole.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was introduced to uber by a friend of mine. Ive seen Shlongy make some remarks on this individual's posts and I've read some of his work. If that's lurking, then call me a dirty stalker.
Your reasoning is bunk...I am not an alter, although I dont blame you for accusing me of such, if that's the "norm".
Too lazy and hungover to change anything.
And I use words like "mordancy", when they are contextually fitting.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-07 12:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yozz - helping put things back on the Front Page since 2007.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ok fine you cant delete a post unless you follow the instructions below.
now ask "where did my post go? it was on the front page and now its gone."
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, welcome to Uber
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Warm welcomes, the lot of them. Thanks. :) I especially enjoyed "get scalped" and "get raped".
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There is a way to remove posts you've submitted. Since you're new, I'll help you out a bit.
Click on the RSS button in your 'My Uber' page. It's the little orange one.
Then, copy all that text into a new post, but remove the posts you want deleted.
Then (this is important) you must title your new post "Post history change for user (enter your user ID here)".
Your submission history will then be changed and you can be happy.
You're welcome.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-09 13:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know you can delete your old posts that you don't want anymore right? That way you don't have to post several times to get rid of posts that suck.
Just go to the My Uber tab. Then click the RSS button. Copy everything off of that page. Paste it inot a text editory. Then delete what you don't want. Then post the new edited list on your next post. Hit Hook Me Up (aka submit) and everything will be updated in your profile. This saves you from making stupid posts. That's what that button is for if you didn't already know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are welcome.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've seen some of your nonsense, Shlongy.....
.Is there any way to delete this post and repost it....
===============================================
if you know Shlongy, you've lurked
if you lurk you know you cant delete a post and -2namis are to be expected on the first post
therfore high probability of alterism
and who uses mordancy?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here it comes.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK...I definitely fucked this one up by not changing my blasted "name" that appears on all my submissions. I figured it out quick. Is there any way to delete this post and repost it so not everyone and their grandmother has my fucking email?
----------------------------------
Wait for it.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:53:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
get scalped
welcome to uber
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, I'm being branded as an "alter". I'm definitely a new user. Seriously. Stop the mordancy.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 get raped
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't be bothered reading this, but it LOOKS like a decent effort.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:49:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OH YEAH? YOU POST LIKE SICO AND OATHMEAL. THE TWO DUMBFUCK STOOGES.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear god, are there no new users here ever?
why all alters why?
someone run out front and see if there is a "closed-private party" sign on the front door
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've seen some of your nonsense, Shlongy. You look like Woody Harrelson.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK...I definitely fucked this one up by not changing my blasted "name" that appears on all my submissions. I figured it out quick. Is there any way to delete this post and repost it so not everyone and their grandmother has my fucking email?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Uber: All oathmeal and sico...all the time
Submitted by Perineum (user info) at 2008-08-07 11:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to Ubersite!