unSurreal (pt. 2) (487 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.77 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bob Sandwich (View user info) at 2008-08-18 19:34:43 EDT
Previously ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/118133 )
It's Monday afternoon as Drake sits at his desk, the day's work is done and now he has a few moments to reflect back on the previous weekend. Thursday was uneventful enough, he started out the night with some ex-army buddies (Steve and Zim) at a local honky-tonk. Willie Nelson's daughter was playing and that was reason enough to get the fuck out as soon as possible. On to the next bar, but first to pick up some girls for companionship. They arrived at The Drink and right away it sucked, good thing they picked up Welch since she is a bartender the drinks were nearly free. Steve started buying rounds for the group and all was good in Drake's world.
At some point Drake came to the idea that he was invincible and got Welch to order him the strongest shot that she knew. She walked away and shortly returned with the concoction, "What is it?" Drake asked. "Just drink it and I'll tell you later" is the only answer that he could get out of her. Never one to be scared of a drink Drake opened the hatch and down it went. Instantly he could feel his throat contract and his eyeballs burned. A short coughing fit later and he could finally manage to get out "what the hell was that shit, are you trying to fucking kill me you dirty whore?"
Everclear with Bacardi 151 was the drink that she decided to make, it didn't even have a name cause technically she wasn't even suppose to make it. If there isn't then there should be laws against that shit, in a very short five minuets Drake went from nearly buzzed while drinking beer to shit canned from that "death shot" followed up by a few tequilas. At least he wasn't the only one that was in a bad way, after his near death experience with the shot-glass he started taunting his Steve and Zim knowing that with girls around they wouldn't be out drank by a civilian. In less than an hour they were all making a mad dash to the back alley to reexamine dinner.
The ride home was a blur to Drake as he went in and out of consciousness during the ride back to Steve's house. His next clear thought was "where the fuck am I?" That was a good question and he sought for the answer, he knew he was in the driver seat of his car. He could tell that by the Fiero emblem on the steering wheel. Next he knew that it was morning or sometime between morning and night, the hot Texas sun was already heating up the interior and he was sweating balls. He fished around for his cell phone and keys, he found his phone in his pocket but no keys. After exiting the car to check under the seat he noticed them stuck in the keyhole outside the door, "at least I know that I didn't drive" was all he could think.
It was ten in the am when he finally crawled into his bed, and by eleven Steve and Zim were calling him up to inquire about round two. It was Friday and he knew that he needed to go to work or at least call Ethel and let her know he wasn't going to make it. He decided that all hope was lost as far as going in to work. Hell, he knew eventually Ethel would figure out on her own that he wasn't going to make it. Drake drug ass out of bed and got into the shower threw in a quick shave and was dressed heading out the door to meet up with the guys all in thirty minuets.
This was the weekend of the County Fair and Rodeo so he already knew their destination and was excited about the free beer that his sponsors had scored. It was Friday at noon and he was well aware that this was going to be a long weekend.
User Reviews
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-27 00:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-20 22:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You really need to choke on a cock and die, faggot
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Doodles projecting her nightly fantasies onto unsuspecting ubererereerereres.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-21 10:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I<3Doodles
Submitted by bullslinebacker (user info) at 2008-08-21 08:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Does your cockhungryness know no bounds?
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2008-08-21 07:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unrealted +2 for Bubba Sparxx reference - http://www.ubersite.com/m/118224#2767200
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-20 22:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG, MAN IT IS ALL IN THE TITLE ISN'T IT? I CALL MY BORING STORY UNSURREAL AND, LIKE MAGIC, IT IS AMAZlNG!!! I BET IF I WROTE A SHIT STORY WHERE I CONTINUE TO FUCK UP MY TENSES AND TITLED IT CRAP GRAMMAR: CRAP STORY PART THE DEUCE (because the first parts suck anyway and I'm not actually good enough to make a substantial character, am I?) IT WOULD BE CRAZY GOOD.
I'M SUCH A FUCKING GENIUS!11!
Seriously, you write a story that even you find boring. Then you post it under the pretense that it is supposed to be boring for some greater artistic purpose.
Except there is nothing profound or artistic about it.
You really need to choke on a cock and die, faggot
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-20 18:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe you didn't notice the title?
Submitted by Aidennn (user info) at 2008-08-20 17:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone has their opinions, and subjectively I found nothing in this piece that was interesting. You're some necktie that sits in his cubicle waiting for the timer to blow at 5:30 on Friday night, alas able to feed your addiction for the most easily obtainable schedule 5 class of "drug": alcohol.
Come on man, it's a bit generic. Go chew on some acid or something. Expand your mind.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-19 11:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-19 11:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drake came across as an edgy SOB with nothing to lose in part one. He should be an entertaining character. But I think you're going to have to find something a little more self destructive for him to do than drinking too much and skipping work in order to make this series interesting.
And you're still botching your tenses.
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I havn't got to friday or saturday night yet, that is when the debautchery kicks in. And I suck at tenses, I am typing as I remember and most of the details get pretty foggy after a weekend of drinking. maybe I should carry a taperecorder like Tucker Max.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-19 04:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Drinks were NEARLY free?
wtf is nearly free?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-18 23:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Drake came across as an edgy SOB with nothing to lose in part one. He should be an entertaining character. But I think you're going to have to find something a little more self destructive for him to do than drinking too much and skipping work in order to make this series interesting.
And you're still botching your tenses.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-18 23:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-14 21:03:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-14 15:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the first part of a series that I might try out depending on the reviews, this is just some background info and I reckon that each new chapter will start from Drake's work desk while he tries to reminisce about the night before. Drake is a fictional character that resembles me in some ways along with other fictional characters that resemble the fine folk that I encounter on a regular basis. The stories will be as close to the real deal as I can stand, I am not going to fabricate exciting tales as I want it to be surreally unSurreal.
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Choke on a cock you vest wearing faggot.
I didn't think it would be possible for one man to love penis so much.
Honestly you're a bigger slut than that mandy girl.
And she admitted to blowing 'Mr. Swimteam' who later turned out to be jpig.
I went off on a tangent there, but you probably didn't realize that as you are obviously too busy to read rev views because your giving free blow jobs at the local glory hole.
Fucking pole smoker.
P.S. this 'series' sounds god awful. Don't do it.
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I ALMOST clicked -2 on accident.
Lucky I cought myself before rating.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-08-18 20:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-18 19:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I should just cut my losses, give up on Lisa, and make a fresh
star with Maggie.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Pony