Uber-Lytton Fiction Contest (573 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.36 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by InkyFingers (View user info) at 2008-08-22 11:20:52 EDT
Their love was like a fine crawfish boil: spicy, culminating with the screams of dying crustaceans!
User Reviews
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-23 09:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grimly shuffling through a mountainous grave of newspapers, Shawn dug for Section D. Each jab of his hand lifting black print smattered pages away, some he crumpled and tossed aside :front page, Metro, Arts and Entertainment, commercial inserts. Reaching for the last section, his fingers mashed against the table. He paused. Here, the "Living" section he thought flipping past a man at play with a disaffected Beagle's paws. The dog looked away, prayed for death.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-08-23 03:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-22 21:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-22 16:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We have fine crawfish boils. So yeah.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-22 16:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 15:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you like TX?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-22 15:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where did it say the address was? I got D.C. one search and CO the next, it also said I was from Virginia and I am sitting in TX
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 15:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, you have to omit it completely (the comma and the following) for initial search. It's from the U.S.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-22 15:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i saw it was a coma, i turned it into a period and got japan.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha! Short and sweet.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:52:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Do any of you watch court TV? I hope not.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The last period looking thing is actually a comma. You have to omit it for initial searching.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why would someone from Japan try and hack your cpu?
Pearl Harbor?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
exactly what I think
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Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 10:54:26 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I see that the point is to fail while making a sincere effort. This doesn't quite hit the mark, but it's better than marginally sculpted vulgarity.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No hard felings chum, just remember... I know where you sleep.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Someone just tried to hack into my computer. Liiiiiiiiike 5 minutes ago. It was funny watching them fail. It was even funnier getting their ip address and notifying their internet provider. Here's a shout-out to my favorite failed hacker of the day. IP: 206.33.44.126, 80
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:10:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The post below has nothing to do with ubersite.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Standing high atop a mound of his bleeding brothers, Jason lifted a hand to his forehead and surveyed the horizon. There! A man with a name tag carrying groceries. After reading the name tag Jason immediately intuited the deepest stuff there is to be knowing about all humanity and discovered that the person was indeed worthless. Sheething his bloody carrot peeler, Jason screamed to the man. Hey! You there! The one that is less formidable than mighty, milk fed, me. You need to die becuase I'm an asshole. I said DIE!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-22 14:03:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2's all around - I just found out the former Engineering manager at the shitco I used to work for is now assistant manager at a donut shop!
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 13:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I see that the point is to fail while making a sincere effort. This doesn't quite hit the mark, but it's better than marginally sculpted vulgarity.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-22 12:18:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who knows what that means... yeah... that's the point isn't it?
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 11:49:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The gun spun around her finger like the moon in decaying orbit. It careened off, arcing through the air onto the floor and firing. The bullet, guided by invisible imps and irony crashed through her patella shattering her knee and forcing her to the floor. Smoke breathed from the gun in a stady whisping tendril.
Is this bad enough?
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-08-22 11:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Should have run with the one below
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 11:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The sun bore upon his weary shoulders like water weight on a swimmer wearing sweats. He lifted bundles of kevlar rope, tossing them into the bow. Pausing, he pawed a patch of shirt to his brow. The sun was stirring nausea in the cauldron of his stomach. Soon a fiery concotion of fried fish basted in gatorade would travel through his gullet and return to the murky water.
Is that horrible enough?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-22 11:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
needs more rape.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-22 11:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
okay
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-22 11:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty shitty, but make it longer next time! An entire paragraph even!