Single, Stupid, and Sad (1821 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.55 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Grimm <grimmjuice.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2008-08-23 13:18:02 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-08-28 17:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this, but I don't think I rated it.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:38:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was very entertaining. I think you can learn from this old addage:
I like my women like I like my coffee . . . ground up and in the freezer.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-27 08:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you question your belonging then you have your answer.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 08:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Single, Stupid, and Sad below.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3 for 3, you're on fiaaarrrrr.
Cunt.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-27 01:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've found that the less time I'm online, the more ass I can get. (And I'm not USUALLY online when I'm shit faced... beer + tato = happy, not home alone surfing the intrawebs) It's just a numbers game, (something old people say because really all you want in life is someone compatible with you, and I'm sure math is involved, but there are like a bazillion people. Sooo..... chances are that most people who aren't completely socially retarded will find someone at some point, or at least someone mutually tolerant of bullshit)
I loled at the rat desperation.....
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-26 16:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding post.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:19:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Single, Stupid, and Sad below.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me smile.
Hope things with her are working out.
-P
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-26 05:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw poor Grimm, I too find my self becoming stalkeriffic in similar situations.
I'd say let her go, but keep at the online dating - try Zoosk (free on facebook) - I managed to bag myself a seriously hot older chick, banged her for a while and dropped her like a turd. I mean she had kids and a bit of a drinking problem (cider for breakfast was fun for a couple of months) Zoosk is for winners.
A buddy of mine reckons in 6 months he's managed dates with 30 women and he's screwed 20 of them!
And he's a fucking retard.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-25 21:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you mf, electro is all mine now.
You had your shot.
We're very hapy together http://www.ubersite.com/m/115648
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2008-08-25 14:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
eatin' bran muffins by the dozen as we speak!
=========================
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-25 12:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey MF, your boyfriend Electro won't come back to uber, go remove his ballgag and shit in his face so he can get back to entertaining us
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2008-08-25 14:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jtrujillo34 (user info) at 2008-08-25 13:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow............that is very homosexual. In my experience girls dont like pussies!
Grow a pair!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-25 12:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey MF, your boyfriend Electro won't come back to uber, go remove his ballgag and shit in his face so he can get back to entertaining us
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2008-08-25 11:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She needs a mushroom tattoo. Nothing gets a girl going like a good ole fashioned junk slap.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-08-25 11:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-25 10:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I even read that.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-08-25 09:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please tell me this was a joke. Well, at the very least your last comment will creep her right the fuck out again.
http://www.themysterymethod.com/
Ever seen that show, The Pickup Artist? Those guys were pretty much heartless douchebags, but the theories seem sound and will probably bag you some ass until you find a girl worth liking.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-25 04:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, she's talking to me again now. She seems to have enjoyed the Dude series. She described my stalking as 'flattering'. And now I'm sealing my lips about her. I'll let you all know when we get married.
Submitted by FilledwithHate (user info) at 2008-08-25 03:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a little pathetic.
But this is a fantastic post.
Save up for escorts, you can also find them on Craigslist, just a different section.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-08-25 03:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep, the title covers all aspects.
Still funny as hell!!
Carry on.
Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2008-08-25 00:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A more appropriate title I've yet to come across.
Try www.fastseduction.com
or
Try www.bristollair.com
and basically do the complete opposite of what you
did on the date with said broad.
Be a man, "Next" her.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-08-24 22:14:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NEVER pay for half of the abortion.. That bitch wants one bad enough shell come up with the other half too. If shes already got her mind made up 200 bucks aint gonna change it.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-08-24 22:00:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't pay for dating. Speed date, that way she won't be able to tell if you suck right away. Then you take her on a whirlwind roofie extravaganza and when she wake up pregnant, she'll have to talk to you if she's gonna get that half of the abortion money she thinks you owe her.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-24 20:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Question:
I am in trouble since 7 month .it has to come more two or three month to having a baby from my cunt hole but I am afraid of getting out the baby from my uterus pelvish hole...what could I do for this.
I love people who speak in broken English.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-24 20:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't get TOO excited.
Shlongy gets 28 heat with a blank post.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-24 19:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoa - first post in months gets 'most heated'? This place *has* gone downhill.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2008-08-24 19:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I was her, I'd be totally creeped out by your desperation. She doesn't like you that much. Move on.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2008-08-24 19:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
will someone have a word with this poor fucker
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-24 18:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah - pretty dopey move
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-24 18:38:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-24 09:14:38 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So I sent her the link to this last night. Zero response.
Fuck it, was still worth the shot.
jesus christ.
you fucking loser, what did you think would happen? She'd come round and shag you because of this?
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-08-24 17:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shut up and make me a sammitch bitch!
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-08-24 14:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-08-24 14:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Act like you arent interested in a girl. It's a sure way into their panties. Hope this helps... actually no, fuck you! The more limp dick losers there are in the world the less compitition I have to worry about..... go tell her about how much you love her.
-----
This guy is so cute. He's like hidden but retarded.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-08-24 14:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Act like you arent interested in a girl. It's a sure way into their panties. Hope this helps... actually no, fuck you! The more limp dick losers there are in the world the less compitition I have to worry about..... go tell her about how much you love her.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2008-08-24 12:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...wow that just went from pathetic to eye-gougingly pathetic.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-24 11:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You sent this to her?
Oh dead lord, how embarassing
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-08-24 10:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-24 10:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Send her a link to one of my classic posts...see if you get a nibble.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-24 10:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So I sent her the link to this last night. Zero response.
Fuck it, was still worth the shot.
Submitted by CarterPFly (user info) at 2008-08-24 09:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything was fine until one or her friends said "...and he LET you pay for the meal?"
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-08-24 08:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
skate it off sally.
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-08-24 04:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Great story...it reminds me of the time when i actually gave a ...
Oh well, that's another story for another day.
I suggest you stalk her...I'll post my real life experience and you can give me a -2 for being a dumba ass.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-08-24 01:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a huge fucking tool.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2008-08-23 20:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck that shit, bitch is a trick
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2008-08-23 20:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
single-it happens
sad-sometimes
stupid-everyone here except me
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-08-23 18:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let it go.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2008-08-23 18:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-08-23 17:45:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dating advice from method
lol
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-23 16:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She met someone else who fucked her on the first date. She feels bad about the situation with you, but she loves getting fucked by that guy, so she figures you'll just go away and forget about her.
Don't embarass yourself further. There's plenty of fish in the sea, plenty of sand on the beach, plenty of crabs on her vagina.
The way I figure it, there are 6 billion people in the world.
Half of those are dudes. That leaves 3 billion chicks, give or take a few million.
Out of those 3 billion chicks, half of those are taken.
Out of those 1.5 billion chicks, half of these are underaged or too old.
Out of those 750 Million chicks left, half of those are Fat/Korean/deformed/Hindu/Lesbian/AIDS/won't fuck you for one reason or another.
Out of those 375 Million chicks left, I'm pretty sure there's more than one broad that will be willing to fuck you, rather than you stalk that stupid piggish whore you met and fell in love with.
Stop being a faggot, it's a numbers game, and you sir, are losing by putting all of your eggs in one basket.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-23 16:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Online dating - pffft. Send her a link and forget her. Raise your sights a bit. Take a class at your local college and pursue the women you meet there. Or, get work as a male escort in the evenings and on weekends. Stay off the crack, though. SRSLY.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2008-08-23 15:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-23 15:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the first time in a long time I am reading (and enjoying) a user's old posts but to save me a bit of effort here, what happened to that Julie chick from yor "Second date" post?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-23 15:02:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By all means, embarrass yourself further and report back.
That picture of the mice is worth a +2 by itself.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2008-08-23 14:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would love to see a compilation of all the uber users (ever) with an average of 1.5 or above. Please make this happen and I will +2 it into infinity. Comprehensivity is key. Thanks!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-23 14:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well ok then
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-08-23 14:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
send her the link, hell it's not like you have a shred of dignity left to lose
and who knows maybe you'll get lucky.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-08-23 14:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
I say get right out there and make a fool of yourself although she'll probably think that you're a complete dink weirdo for getting so in to her after one date.
Nevertheless... Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-08-23 14:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-23 19:09:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
*I'd* fuck you.
---------------
"I" wouldn't but "he" "might"
"Now" this "has" "become" somewhat confusing, dont "you" "think"?!one11//?1!eleventy
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2008-08-23 14:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-23 14:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*I'd* fuck you.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-23 13:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
big grimm fan right here
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-08-23 13:49:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-23 13:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a well-constructed post.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-23 13:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lame. Why do people do this to each other? The odd thing is that she continued to happily talk to you- if it was a terrible date, she should have come clean or blown you off, and without a second date, you know YOU probably didn't fuck anything up. Did you possibly overshare in an IM or something? Maybe there's something that's a dealbreaker for her and you said the magic word without knowing. Maybe there's something going on in her head that has nothing to do with you.
Maybe she's afraid of actually meeting someone she likes, etc, but if she didn't even allow you a glimpse of that possibility then you've taken it as far as you should. If after only one date if you continue to pursue her she'll think you've gone from tenacious to desperate to pathetic. Let her go. If she's even worth a second date, she'll come around.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-23 13:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking old profile. that's not my address anymore. try me at grimmguy747 at gmail dawt com