Parents, your little bundle of joy is not a miracle (2231 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.02 on 143 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paul Hibbert (View user info) at 2008-08-26 08:03:52 EDT
I'm sure it's not an original thought, but I want to make a difference before I die. I want there to have been a point to my life.
There's this guy I used to work with and every year or so I bump into him in a pub and he drunkenly tells me "You're the most intelligent person I've ever met". I of course laugh at him and tell him he's wrong but it irks me somewhat that he keeps doing it. It seems weird that I could have left such an impression on a man that I can't remember the name of.
A colleague at work randomly remarked the other day that "Paul, you've achieved a lot". I chuckled and told him that flattery was not a kin to a pay-rise, and his response was a little spooky. He said it in such a way that it was like he knew something I didn't and all those childhood fears that I'm in an experiment and that Jim Carrie movie was just to make me go "nahhhhh it couldn't be" came flooding back...
He looked at me like he was looking at my soul and said that I "would one day achieve so much more than this".
Like what? I mean; I really want to, but what?
I'm probably entirely misinterpreting the grandeur of his statement and he probably meant bloody kids, which I'll get to later on.
There's this really sweet girl who met me through the band a couple of years ago and she started texting me recently out of the blue, she keeps telling me how "Different" I am and how I've "changed her perspective on life". I've been having the conversation with her that I am about to have with you if you haven't already gone "STFU I'm not reading all that"
Now don't go "Great another post about how wonderful Paul is" because the point of this post is that I'm an egotistical alcoholic nobody. Deep down I fucking love myself its true, everybody does; even self loathers really admire themselves for being so gallant as to hate themselves.
...Weirdos.
But I know that there's no good reason to be so enamoured with myself, I think I'm actually quite frightened of underachieving. Scratch that, I'm actually terrified of underachieving because I have this crippling guilt that I can probably do anything I set my mind to and yet I still haven't fixed everything that's wrong with the world, and I'm not prioritising my achievements correctly; Why am I washing my car and tiling my bathroom when I could be the first man on the moon? That's not been done yet right?
I try to achieve something new each day. Just small personal goals like tile the bathroom or wash the car. Even if it's something really small like move all the watched movies from the "newly downloaded" folder to the "films" folder it seems important to keep improving on my lot in life.
Last week I cured cancer.
I wonder what I'm building to though in all seriousness, what am I trying to achieve with the life I have been given? I used to think that it was children and a successful marriage and it wasn't until that goal was shattered by Jenny's discovery of Facebook and consequently her ex-boyfriend that I realised that that's not really an achievement at all.
I started thinking again. That sounds so simple but it's been a remarkable change, I'd actually stopped thinking for 3 and half years. I went to work came home, ate slept and went to work again because I'd decided I'd pretty much accomplished what I was here to do.
After we broke up I gave a lot of thought to and questioned the importance of having a girlfriend and I came to the realisation that I'd only really got one so that I could fit into a category. So that I would be normal and that people would regard me as having my shit together.
"But StOOpid you need gurlFRIED for seXums". Also not true. Furthermore sex is the most over-rated thing I've ever done. To break this post up below are three things I consider a totally unproductive waste of time...
Eating
Sleeping
Shitting
Back to sex... In the grander scheme of things procreation happens to stupid people of absolutely no consequence and so that doesn't seem to be a good reason to continue to exist. If I had a child there's no amount of good upbringing I can do to ensure that my child makes a difference and changes the world.
You could argue that passing on your genes is important. Somehow I share that opinion because we're all programmed that way. But logically speaking having a child is pretty meaningless and I wish parents would get over themselves.
That little bundle of sunshine of yours may just grow up to murder millions of people anyway. I hear Hitler's upbringing wasn't that bad; he did some pretty bonkers stuff.
Don't get me wrong, go forth and multiply and all that, just don't kid yourself that you've done something miraculous; my retarded neighbours from hell have a little miracle- and thus far he's shaping up to be pretty average. His ability to fly and shoot lasers out of his eyes is impressing no one.
I've become quite good at a lot of things; I'm a good climber, a good drummer and guitarist, my vocals are an acquired taste. I'm a good boss, a good friend, a well rounded human being and I have the best of everything. I have an itch that I can't scratch though, what is the point of being here now that I've realised it's not to get married and have kids?
I think that's the reason I keep trying to achieve something each day; It's in the hope that one of these things will eventually have a consequence and I won't let down the three hopelessly deluded individuals that think I'm an Intelligent, overachieving perspective changer.
What did I achieve today? I made 1 of the likely 1054 hits this post will probably receive over the coming years decide to get off his or her arse, not conceive Hitler and cure cancer after all.
-P
User Reviews
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-04-06 10:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They made religion specifically for people like you. I just realized that.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-06 10:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3 questions.
Are you now in a band called Paper Planes?
Do you drive a Skoda Octavia?
Were you at the Vic last night?
If the answer to ANY of these questions is yes then I fucking saw you yesterday. Swear to god. If it wasn't you then there is a Pock Hobbert Doppleganger walking around Derby.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 04:42:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bring back Mystiamoon.
There should be a campaign!
-P
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Hello there, how YOU doin?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-31 13:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Really cares too much about ratings below.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-31 07:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gay-prime or whatever,
Why is you name synonymous with -2? Is it because you're a whiny little hypocritical bitch?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/113450
Oh yeah, it is.
Couldn't you just do what us truly modest individuals did and just stop posting? No, because you were hoping people would beg you not to leave is why.
People in glass houses and all that.
-P
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2008-08-31 00:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Read the first few paragraphs and you're clearly doing the good old-fashioned "show off while trying to appear modest by referring to a compliment someone else made and pretending to disagree."
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-08-29 16:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
me and you've got alot in common.......that's all i'm sayin
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-29 07:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Joe average might be my new favorite user to laugh at.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-29 07:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-29 00:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First of all Doodles (what a faggy name by the way)
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Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-02-28 00:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes I relize that my name is gay, emo, and or feminine, but I suck with names
Ny first review by the way.
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this isn't even your fight but you are obsessed with me like some lovesick teenager.
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Not really, but you're so incredably stupid i can't help it.) You say:
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While I do agree about ratings being pointless. My reason is because I don't care much about Uber.
by the way, anyone can get 5,000+ hits on a post with the right title.
You have a negative overall rating and I know that crushes your fragile self esteem because the truth is you fucking love this site. Someone that doesn't care does not post 44 stories and review 4,635 times!
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A sample of my 'works'
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96696
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96547
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115648
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117436
http://www.ubersite.com/m/117437
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118273
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86969
None of those took more than 10 minutes.
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This site is your life because you're probably a shut-in with social anxiety disorder. You've posted an average of 5 times a day for the last 2 1/2 years.
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365 x 2.5= 912.5 .... 44/912=0.05 or 1/20.
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Someone doesn't do something 4,679 times unless they enjoy it (just like your mom's gangbang). You want to be one of the uber-elite "A-Listers" and you even changed your signature to say so:
Submitted by Doodles (wants to be an 'A-lister')
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oh for christ's sake, there IS NO SUCH THING as an a 'A-lister'.
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I don't care much about Uber anyway so it doesn't bother me that no one reads the posts that I put my heart and soul into (not your kiddie-porn posts where you actually get all of your hits). The posts that I base my self esteem off of and the site that gives me a reason not to turn the car on in the garage and just sit there while death's icy grip escorts me to hell (because that's where his father told him he was going when he caught him fucking Tim his science partner during sophomore year).
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I like how you say my hitwhoreing posts are invalid, I wouldn't actually be surprised if you set up a script for yours. Also what posts have I poured my heart and soul into if not the porn ones, they by far took the most effort.
A decent insult by you, for the first time though.
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To say you don't care much about Uber is a complete lie and you've just been exposed (sort of like when your grandfather used to make you lead him around the house by his penis, but not really).
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Seriously? that doesn't even make sense)
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Good luck getting all of your hits from child molesters (most likely that would be your extended family tree) with your nine, that's right folks, nine stories about pre-teens and sex (including one story about the rape of a 1 day old baby). What's it like to see your fans on TV? Do you TiVo "To Catch A Predator" so you can cheer for your buddies to get away? Fuck off. You're a hack and you're a liar.
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Really? I count five posts involving minors, one post about a monkey and three reposts.
Actually without all my reposts I would only have 33 posts.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-29 07:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-29 06:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My internets are broken! Why did that post twice?
I have no muse, no creativity nor any humour. No postings from me.
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You never had a muse. You made bad cartoons about a ferret made in MSpaint. And by god I want to see more of them.
It posted twice because the server hung for a moment, either that or... umm.... your mum.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-29 06:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My internets are broken! Why did that post twice?
I have no muse, no creativity nor any humour. No postings from me.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-29 06:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen funny boy.
Why doesn't your worthless hide post something? "Fucked up Ferett" or whatever it was called wasn't too shabby, though no-one remembers it because unlike me you never quite made the A-list did you?
Now entertain me!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-29 06:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're probably too insignificant to have a hate post, it'd be like writing a lengthy discourse remonstrating against plankton.
"Dear God,
I am writing this letter to complain in the strongest possible terms about plankton and krill.
I went in the sea last week because your advertising suggests that it's bigger than my bath.
However, it was soon apparent that the water was infested by euphausiids, and not the Mr Matey to which I am accustomed.
I am not, as I hope is abundantly clear, a Baleen whale. As such, I now write to formally request that all such marine crustaceans are removed immediately.
Copepods get right up my nose.
I would appreciate it if this situation could be quickly resolved and a substantial rebate offered on my account.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Faithfully,
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-29 06:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're probably too insignificant to have a hate post, it'd be like writing a lengthy discourse remonstrating against plankton.
"Dear God,
I am writing this letter to complain in the strongest possible terms about plankton and krill.
I went in the sea last week because your advertising suggests that it's bigger than my bath.
However, it was soon apparent that the water was infested by euphausiids, and not the Mr Matey to which I am accustomed.
I am not, as I hope is abundantly clear, a Baleen whale. As such, I now write to formally request that all such marine crustaceans are removed immediately.
Copepods get right up my nose.
I would appreciate it if this situation could be quickly resolved and a substantial rebate offered on my account.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Faithfully,
Dervel"
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-29 05:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-29 05:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pock, stop arguing with the fucking fish.
I was once so loved and admired on here that I had a hate post written about me. And a midget once drove all day to watch me fall asleep.
It's sad really, I'm that much greater than everyone else that I'm just unobtainable, it's like trying to poke the moon with a stick.
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I didn't watch you fall asleep! You make it sound romantic you homo!
I wish someone would write a hate post about me. You know, someone with some talent like that fucking fish Belowaverage.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-29 05:03:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pock, stop arguing with the fucking fish.
I was once so loved and admired on here that I had a hate post written about me. And a midget once drove all day to watch me fall asleep.
It's sad really, I'm that much greater than everyone else that I'm just unobtainable, it's like trying to poke the moon with a stick.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-29 04:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha.
*Dangles rod back into pond*
Belowaverage or whatever, you haven't posted since 2004. Was that the last time someone "joined this site just to comment on your work"?
You had one post that garnered any hits and it was just because you camped on your own post as about 60 different people. You even had that ridiculous argument between yourself and your alter and then blasted Loki for a solid week who was clearly as easily pulled into an argument as you are.
Thanks for the 99 extra hits
Thanks for keeping this post on the MRR in my absence
Thanks for the opportunity to make you look like an idiot again...
I might set up an alter, make one post and then set up 6 alters to have a conversation on my post for a month so that I can say that on average I got more hits with my alter than you ever will as Belowaverage.
You see the flaw in your argument?
Thanks and suck my cock,
-P
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-29 00:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First of all Doodles (what a faggy name by the way) this isn't even your fight but you are obsessed with me like some lovesick teenager. You say:
While I do agree about ratings being pointless. My reason is because I don't care much about Uber.
by the way, anyone can get 5,000+ hits on a post with the right title.
You have a negative overall rating and I know that crushes your fragile self esteem because the truth is you fucking love this site. Someone that doesn't care does not post 44 stories and review 4,635 times! This site is your life because you're probably a shut-in with social anxiety disorder. You've posted an average of 5 times a day for the last 2 1/2 years. Someone doesn't do something 4,679 times unless they enjoy it (just like your mom's gangbang). You want to be one of the uber-elite "A-Listers" and you even changed your signature to say so:
Submitted by Doodles (wants to be an 'A-lister')
I don't care much about Uber anyway so it doesn't bother me that no one reads the posts that I put my heart and soul into (not your kiddie-porn posts where you actually get all of your hits). The posts that I base my self esteem off of and the site that gives me a reason not to turn the car on in the garage and just sit there while death's icy grip escorts me to hell (because that's where his father told him he was going when he caught him fucking Tim his science partner during sophomore year).
To say you don't care much about Uber is a complete lie and you've just been exposed (sort of like when your grandfather used to make you lead him around the house by his penis, but not really).
Good luck getting all of your hits from child molesters (most likely that would be your extended family tree) with your nine, that's right folks, nine stories about pre-teens and sex (including one story about the rape of a 1 day old baby). What's it like to see your fans on TV? Do you TiVo "To Catch A Predator" so you can cheer for your buddies to get away? Fuck off. You're a hack and you're a liar.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-28 22:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also on your last post, YOU reviewed it 76 times.
Not even counting random joes that is just a bit shy of one out of every three reviews.
You might have had 45 different verified users actually review that post.
That isn't really all that good conisidering that was back in Uber's 'golden age'.
But, hey whatever makes you happy.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-28 22:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT is the funniest shit I've read all week below.
While I do agree about ratings being pointless. My reason is because I don't care much about Uber.
Your posts are all shit, by the way, anyone can get 5,000+ hits on a post with the right title.
It isn't hard.
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey genius, I thought it looked odd that you intentionally left out categories from the user profile so I thought I would post the whole thing so everyone can understand what a fake you are:
You've written 99 boring ass bullshit pieces and barely anyone ever reads your pathetic ramblings (you average only 1,391 people per post).
I've written only 8 pieces and I average 15,099 people per post!
People write reviews of your boring shit on average 57 times per post because they are not compelled to waste time on your worthless ass.
With just 8 stories people can't get enough of my shit and people have commented on average 224 times per post!
There are a lot of your posts that barely break 300 views (by the way thank me for getting you 99 extra hits because I checked out all of your shit posts) and you only topped 4,000 once or twice (most fade away before hitting 1,000). But wow the tiny cult following of family members and ex-boyfriends gave you an average rating of 1.5 . . . big fucking deal. Who gives a shit what your rating is, that's not indicative of how good your material is, and it's just your family trying to cheer you up. The ratings on this site are an arbitrary, meaningless exercise . . . it's all about the hits baby.
You're a coffee house acoustic one man show with a kazoo sticking out of your ass and I rock mother fucking stadiums (posts with over 41,000 and 33,000 views without ever being on Bored At Work). People send my stuff to their friends and people have joined this site just to comment on my work. You keep playing in the shallow end with the little kids and when you write something people actually give a shit about let me know and maybe you can take the life jacket off and come into the deep end (you think a fag like you would work harder at this because we all know how much you like cumming in to deep ends).
Everything you ever wanted to know about mrwolf (math genius and all around arrogant prick)
Registered on or around: 2004-08-20 05:33:25 EDT
# Messages posted: 99
# Reviews written: 5161
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 5652
# Hits: 137718
Average rating of all messages: 1.55
Everything you ever wanted to know about JoeAverage (fucks mrwolf's hairy mom on all fours like the beast that she is)
Registered on or around: 2003-11-18 12:56:14 EST
# Messages posted: 7 (actually it's 8 because I also posted one story under the name FuckCanada)
# Reviews written: 865 (925 with FuckCanada)
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 1389 (1789 with FuckCanada)
# Hits: 64169 (105,692 with FuckCanada)
Average rating of all messages: -0.11
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-28 12:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people think becoming wealthy is what it's all about. Fine for them but what will they do if the bottom falls out of their economy and all their money goes bye-bye?
Some people believe that aquiring stuff is what it's all about, as in, 'he who dies with the most toys wins.' Ok, but things can be destroyed, stolen, or at the very least, become antiquated. What then?
Some people want to get married, or at least have a lifelong relationship with a significant other. That seems risky though as you're are placing your happiness in another person's hands. What if they turn into an asshole?
Some people really like kids and feel the need to breed. Great, for them.
For the rest of us, we need to figure out what we want from life. Personally, I try to find things that give me joy which cannot be taken away. Lately, I've become a cliche, as in, I try to find joy in the simple things.
Then again, as I've gotten older, I have slowly been losing my capacity to give a shit about most things.
Because, in the end, we're all going to die. Everyone. From Bill Gates all the way down to some African bushman or Untouchable in India.
Death is the great equalizer.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gazaroo82 (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you spent less time writing that load of bollocks you would probably be getting some sex. I'm actually amazed at that shit. It was so bad I feel let down i've wasted so much time reading it.
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Which part of "sex is the most overrated thing I have ever done" did you not understand you fucking cunt.
I hope that you remember these wasted minutes as you lie on your aids infested, cum drenched deathbed.
Just kidding.
-P
Submitted by gazaroo82 (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you spent less time writing that load of bollocks you would probably be getting some sex. I'm actually amazed at that shit. It was so bad I feel let down i've wasted so much time reading it.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-08-28 09:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you're a Christian you're supposed to, live, behave, fear, love and die by which you'll end up in either heaven or hell.
Darwins' theory would like you to reproduce before you die in order to keep the evolution thingy going.
We've created ourselves so much crap to accompany us on the way from birth to death that your question is legitimate.
What is the meaning of life?
Lots of material stuff we came up with have nothing to do with a meaning but with means to live.
I think our situations are very similar but I don't want to look for a meaning. I'm just trying to have as much fulfillment as I can get out of my life accepting there restraints and duties of relationships and society in general.
This post really made me smile and I bet you're able to make people smile in real life too.
The sentiment of the post reminded me of my highschool years. With the emphasis on "high" ;-)
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 08:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-28 07:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have been reliably informed that hitting your own post doesn't count but man did that comment tickle me.
ok, you are the oldest hit/heat whore. i'm off to iceland. i hear that is where all the good mums go.
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Yes, but it does put you back on the MRR which helps generate new interest and furthers conversation.
A cheap tactic that I take absolute pride in because I'm an ass hole.
I hope you enjoy Iceland? How many children do planes allow nowadays?
-P
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-28 07:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have been reliably informed that hitting your own post doesn't count but man did that comment tickle me.
ok, you are the oldest hit/heat whore. i'm off to iceland. i hear that is where all the good mums go.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 04:43:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia, I am the original British heatwhore; 50% of my hits are me pressing refresh waiting for someone to reply. Half of my responses are an attempt to wind up morons like Joe Average.
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Director, wow... really? ... Not sure what to say to that, Feel a bit bad now.
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Ejryuu, no denying that. My own comments reflect yours... "I re-read this last night and concluded that I do sound a little bit arrogant which is a shame because the subject consumes my every waking moment and I wish I had put this down better.
I'm not sure how to express this creepy feeling that the people around me expect me to do something amazing with my life without giving the three most recent examples, and I think sadly that's what's made me look most egotistical."
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JoeAverage,
Everything you ever wanted to know about JoeAverage
Registered on or around: 2003-11-18 12:56:14 EST
# Hits: 64151
Average rating of all messages: -0.11
Everything you ever wanted to know about mrwolf
Registered on or around: 2004-08-20 05:33:25 EDT
# Hits: 137506
Average rating of all messages: 1.55
*Does the math* I wouldn't call myself a maths genius, but then you don't need to be one to see that my writing is better than yours.
Come back whenever you want me to make you look more of an idiot.
Thanks,
-P
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you want to make a difference you should kill yourself in a spectacular way. Like having someone drive a motorcycle up your ass and videotape it. Then your life would have made a difference . . . because it brought joy to all the Internet weirdos that love those kind of movies. And it would be a reason to bring back the Faces of Death videos.
Also, make sure he runs over that inflated head of yours brainiac, "You're the most intelligent person I've ever met". I of course laugh at him and tell him he's wrong but it irks me somewhat that he keeps doing it. It seems weird that I could have left such an impression on a man that I can't remember the name of.
Maybe you're a math genius because your writing sucks.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:41:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. Came off as a little bit too arrogant for my taste.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the fuck happened here?
I am the brit heatwhore.
and who the fuck is jim fucking carrie?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
even self loathers really admire themselves for being so gallant as to hate themselves.
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This is not true. There are times I reach a level of such self-contempt and hatred I cannot stand being inside my own body, my own head, my own life.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Read it. And on the subject of kids not being a miracle, hear hear.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-08-27 12:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 05:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-08-27 02:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would totally buy you a drink and listen to you blab.
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You'd soon get bored. I blab on and on and on given an audience.
-P
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I'd either get bored or competitive. I can do the same. FACE OFF!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 09:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-27 08:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My triumphant return single-handedly saved Uber, raising it from the cesspool of arselickers that it was to the heady of of literary mediocrity. For a time, this place was abuzz with quick-witted humour and deep, meaningful insights into life, the universe and everything.
Then Pock came back too and offset the injection of brilliance so we're back to being a cesspool.
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Hahaha. Wanna face off in hate-madness?
I wouldn't recommend it, I intend to use photoshop.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-27 08:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My triumphant return single-handedly saved Uber, raising it from the cesspool of arselickers that it was to the heady of of literary mediocrity. For a time, this place was abuzz with quick-witted humour and deep, meaningful insights into life, the universe and everything.
Then Pock came back too and offset the injection of brilliance so we're back to being a cesspool.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-27 08:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, when you think about it, concrete is pretty fucking miraculous stuff.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 07:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Or a ludicrous nonsense about Norwich and a pub therein.
Will you stop trying to be funny and just BE FUNNY!
Post something. Remember that buzz you got back in 2006 as you pressed refresh over and over again waiting for someone new to comment and the resulting dissapointment when it was usually me being much more clever and better looking than you?
Well you can get that back. Just post something!
-P
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-27 07:26:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very true.
If only people would write deep and thought provoking posts about grouting bathrooms, that would gear things up a bit...
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 07:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I too am bored.
I'm trying to find entertainment through Uber but it's gotten mind bogglingly difficult to filter through all the shitty shit.
-P
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-27 07:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She finds your hygiene invasive.
God, I'm bored. Stoopid work.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 06:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-27 06:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last week I curried cancer.
My colon found it to be quite invasive.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your mum finds me to be quite invasive.
Too obvious? I had a heavy weekend, my insults are a little off.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2008-08-27 06:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last week I curried cancer.
My colon found it to be quite invasive.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 05:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2008-08-26 13:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im not British, but you still give me the auto +2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's because you are a god among men!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 05:37:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-08-26 23:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Having children is no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out of your ass! It's a chemical reaction." --Bill Hicks
But seriously, I love kids, I just don't want any. I'm old enough that it's too late anyway.
So what is your purpose here, if not to have children? Well, you could teach people things. Or build something useful. Create something fantastic. Make life better for other people by being thoughtful. Help people who do have children. Do things for them that they don't have the time to do. Spend time with their kids. Help animals. Volunteer to work with the underprivileged. Do things to improve the environment. Spread love.
Or, you can become a furry and spend all your time going to conventions. You're God's special little snowflake.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sound advice. That's the kind of stuff I want to be doing but seem to have my priorities wrong. I too love kids and fully intend to have some one day. My question was more the meaning of life in a round about way.
-P
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 05:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-08-27 02:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would totally buy you a drink and listen to you blab.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You'd soon get bored. I blab on and on and on given an audience.
-P
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-27 05:34:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I re-read this last night and concluded that I do sound a little bit arrogant which is a shame because the subject consumes my every waking moment and I wish I had put this down better.
I'm not sure how to express this creepy feeling that the people around me expect me to do something amazing with my life without giving the three most recent examples, and I think sadly that's what's made me look most egotistical.
The field I am in is management. I manage a service desk for a business ISP, I just spend a lot of time wandering around thinking about stuff now that I have the time to do it.
-P
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2008-08-27 02:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would totally buy you a drink and listen to you blab.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-27 00:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nazi 2 below.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-27 00:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I want there to have been a point to my life."
You silly n00b. No wonder you're so depressing.
Submitted by UCSBguy (user info) at 2008-08-27 00:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Plus fucking two. This is a masterpiece. What field are you in?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-26 23:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If that was dig at my beloved electro it was NOT appreciated.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-08-26 23:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Having children is no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out of your ass! It's a chemical reaction." --Bill Hicks
But seriously, I love kids, I just don't want any. I'm old enough that it's too late anyway.
So what is your purpose here, if not to have children? Well, you could teach people things. Or build something useful. Create something fantastic. Make life better for other people by being thoughtful. Help people who do have children. Do things for them that they don't have the time to do. Spend time with their kids. Help animals. Volunteer to work with the underprivileged. Do things to improve the environment. Spread love.
Or, you can become a furry and spend all your time going to conventions. You're God's special little snowflake.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-26 23:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...except I'm a man.
You really fucking fail at life don't you faggot?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 22:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles gets drunk at night and sends me emails confessing her everlasting love for me.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-08-26 22:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apollo is hardly anybody any more.
Just second top dog.
A mere figurehead.
A GIANT figurehead actually.
And what with the actual top dog being impotent
All the power of the ubersite has been vested to me.
Your silly british pact is nothing short of a foolish act of definace.
I demand you immediatly halt and decease.
Submitted by metalbeast7 (user info) at 2008-08-26 22:06:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*inspired*
thanks
Submitted by Dimenhydrinate (user info) at 2008-08-26 17:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The 'point' of life is to live. Any other philosophical query is a man-made concept and thus, bull shit.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-08-26 17:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-26 17:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool cool
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2008-08-26 17:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give it a 2 for clarity and subject - verb agreement.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-08-26 15:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well written. I don't agree with allot that you have to say but well written regardless.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-26 15:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't go forth and multiply. The planet has enough people, and we should really be keeping 90% of the populace out of the gene pool.
-----
Doing or accomplishing something that makes the world better is more meaningful than simply following a biological urge to completion. Anyone can make a baby, in fact there has to be some problem if you cannot even do it accidentally. Not anyone can make a building or piece of art or other beneficial contrivance. Produce, not reproduce.
Of course, I gots no kids and everyone here who does will say I'm full of shit and don't know what I'm talking about. I say I do, and that they did, know what I'm talking about but have conveniently set that aside in accepting, gladly or otherwise, that they have a small occasionally cute slavemaster for the next 18-22 years.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2008-08-26 15:07:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2008-08-26 14:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a good read and your downloaded movie refiling reminded me of how I just recently separated my porn into "Big tits," "Hot face," and "Big tits and Hot face," folders.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2008-08-26 13:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im not British, but you still give me the auto +2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anybody ever heard of a novel in which the main character finds a life-insurance loophole and ends up standing to receive such a vast amount of compensation when he dies that the economy would crumble, and he becomes a target for terrorists seeking to instigate the destruction of civilisation?
=================================
Is it called Pi?
oh wait, nevermind, no I have never heard of that movie.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn. I thought I dreamt it.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anybody ever heard of a novel in which the main character finds a life-insurance loophole and ends up standing to receive such a vast amount of compensation when he dies that the economy would crumble, and he becomes a target for terrorists seeking to instigate the destruction of civilisation?
==============
I think Jack McCallum wrote that.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anybody ever heard of a novel in which the main character finds a life-insurance loophole and ends up standing to receive such a vast amount of compensation when he dies that the economy would crumble, and he becomes a target for terrorists seeking to instigate the destruction of civilisation?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
does anyone remember a comment or part of a post someone made years ago that went something along the lines of
"I'll punch you so hard that you go back in time to right before I punch where I'll punch you again creating a space time continuum where I end up kicking your ass for all eternity"
come on some one remembers this.
=======================================
I think chuck norris did this.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:12:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
does anyone remember a comment or part of a post someone made years ago that went something along the lines of
"I'll punch you so hard that you go back in time to right before I punch where I'll punch you again creating a space time continuum where I end up kicking your ass for all eternity"
come on some one remembers this.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you fuckers stop +0ing me.
Don't make me post a step by step guide.
Submitted by PayMeLater (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Non-gay Brits?
Yer havin' a larf.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's tough to get in on the auto +2 pact.
You're supposed to be British. Apollo used to be our king and he was able to bestow the auto+2 pact on anybody but he sodded off to America and I can't remember who he left in charge.
We'll assume it was me and you guys can just plus2 me and generally suck up then I'll consider letting you in on the auto +2 pact.
-P
===========================
Well, until I am let in to the pact I will have Great-Uncle Anthony shut the factory down and you Britts will have to do without your London Pride.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
honestly FJ its a Brit/Non-Gay pact
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't know there was a British pact. There should be a pamphlet about these things.
Its raining :o(
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 12:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's tough to get in on the auto +2 pact.
You're supposed to be British. Apollo used to be our king and he was able to bestow the auto+2 pact on anybody but he sodded off to America and I can't remember who he left in charge.
We'll assume it was me and you guys can just plus2 me and generally suck up then I'll consider letting you in on the auto +2 pact.
-P
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
====================
Is that how it is suppose to work then? If so when do I get to partake in auto+2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you British?
================================
My name is Fuller, as in
http://www.fullers.co.uk/tpls/images/fst/fst_griffin.jpg
but no, I was born in Texas. Our family is from across the pond though.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
long ago and under a different username I was donned with the status of Honorary Brit and given the right to the +2 Pact....by Berty
oh how the mighty have fallen
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
====================
Is that how it is suppose to work then? If so when do I get to partake in auto+2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you British?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
====================
Is that how it is suppose to work then? If so when do I get to partake in auto+2
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:28:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bored me and I coulnd't finish it.
Where's the punch?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is it with all these noobs? Don't you know who I am? You have to simply take an interest in my life because I have been here longer than you.
Then you simply select the drop down labelled "Worth reading (+0)" and select "Kicker of all ass (+2)"
It's dead easy, you'll get the hang of it.
-P
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bored me and I coulnd't finish it.
Where's the punch?
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-08-26 11:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a Seinfeld episode where Elaine and Jerry think the exact same thing.
"That baby is breathtaking..."
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't go forth and multiply. The planet has enough people, and we should really be keeping 90% of the populace out of the gene pool.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:35:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe how badly recieved this post has been when I look around at what a hideous mess this place has become.
============================
Calm down mrwolf, I thought the post was well written and better than most the shit on uber. You just came across as loving yourself too much.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hahaha....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/115700
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87696
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73570
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe how badly recieved this post has been when I look around at what a hideous mess this place has become.
============================
Calm down mrwolf, I thought the post was well written and better than most the shit on uber. You just came across as loving yourself too much.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've accepted I'm never going to make a difference to anything on a large scale.
My reason for living? I keep breathing in and out.
I'm nobody, too. It's not so bad.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You have entertained me to the point of influence, henceforth anything I potentially achieve through humour or writing will mean you have made a difference by proxy.
I did want to explore the idea that everything we do has some impact on humanity, perhaps that positive spin would have bettered this post.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've accepted I'm never going to make a difference to anything on a large scale.
My reason for living? I keep breathing in and out.
I'm nobody, too. It's not so bad.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
at least some trailer-trash cunt bubble didn't accuse you of plagiarism.
Submitted by kovalevmk (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:22:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not sure I follow you.
--------------
If you are surrounded by people who think you are smart, you are probably in an environment where you don't challenge yourself.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maybe. I earn a wage that I'm comfortable with, the job tends to challenge me for stints in our busiest periods and in times of change I thoroughly enjoy innovating.
There's been no change for a while and henceforth I've "returned" to Uber. There is a change a-foot though so you guys can all get back to reading posts by people that either can't write for shit or can't be arsed to write for shit.
I can't believe how badly recieved this post has been when I look around at what a hideous mess this place has become.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And, by the way - Is that really the best thing you can come up with? Calling me a Noob?
I figured someone who has been around this fucking dump for so long with have some better chops.
But then again, you have probably been around here so long because you are like 99% of the other fucktards on this site - a grossly obese friendless loser who still lives in his parents basement.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This isn't noobersite. Why are you here silly?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And, by the way - Is that really the best thing you can come up with? Calling me a Noob?
I figured someone who has been around this fucking dump for so long with have some better chops.
But then again, you have probably been around here so long because you are like 99% of the other fucktards on this site - a grossly obese friendless loser who still lives in his parents basement.
=============================================================
*ba doom doom ksshhh*
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not sure I follow you.
--------------
If you are surrounded by people who think you are smart, you are probably in an environment where you don't challenge yourself.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't count on it, Spam.
*que creepy stalker music*
=================================
Did you mean Que creepy stalker music?
I don't know, I reckon it is music from a film played whilst some "creepy stalker" follows his prey.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CUE. See, I *am* so british...
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And, by the way - Is that really the best thing you can come up with? Calling me a Noob?
I figured someone who has been around this fucking dump for so long with have some better chops.
But then again, you have probably been around here so long because you are like 99% of the other fucktards on this site - a grossly obese friendless loser who still lives in his parents basement.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 10:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't count on it, Spam.
*que creepy stalker music*
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:51:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I got a million of 'em.
*ba doom doom ksshhh*
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:51:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I know your title applies to at least ONE set of parents - YOURS.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, that one was good. Shame you're a noob.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel our stalker/stalkee relationship may be breaking down.
WOE!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
10 & 1/2.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry, I meant ten cocks shy of a hundred up the ass. Not your age.
============================
So did I.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One more minus2 and I swear to god I'll turn all the Brits against you and you won't get Internet popularity like I have!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-05-08 14:49:42 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
(Super Secret British, except C1ndy, Auto +2)
---------------------------------------------
I am aware of it Paul, btw, I just thought Derby was discounted. :(
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yawn
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I know your title applies to at least ONE set of parents - YOURS.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
10 & 1/2.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry, I meant ten cocks shy of a hundred up the ass. Not your age.
============================
So did I.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You disappoint me spam, I thought you'd see the joke.
Kinda why I am tired of Uber, all this 'you take the internet waaay tooo seriously' nonsense gets right on my saggy, reach to my knees, tits.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
10 & 1/2.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry, I meant ten cocks shy of a hundred up the ass. Not your age.
Fucking Noob with his damned minus'
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Furthermore sex is the most over-rated thing I've ever done.
===================================================================
Maybe you aren't doing it right...
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU spam, don't you have a weight watchers class to attend??
Go and +2 emissions post then, he is from Bath. Cunts.
--
Flying off the handle a little there Orphelia eh? Missed the joke perhaps?
I'd ask you if it's rag week but we all know you havn't had one of those since you were twelve.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
10 & 1/2.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Furthermore sex is the most over-rated thing I've ever done.
===================================================
You had me up to this point and then boom, you lost me. All I could think of from here on out was, Fag.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What are you? 10?
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Furthermore sex is the most over-rated thing I've ever done.
===================================================
You had me up to this point and then boom, you lost me. All I could think of from here on out was, Fag.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU spam, don't you have a weight watchers class to attend??
Go and +2 emissions post then, he is from Bath. Cunts.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Forgive Orph. She's just a meagre Noob and doesn't understand that only a complete and utter cunt would break the pact and give you a zero.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not british, dupek.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you may very well be but doesn't have anything to do with calling people brother
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to each his own brother....like I said the point is to be happy...whatever that entails
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I call people brother. I thought I was rare and special.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
STOP PUTTING 0's ON MY POST ORPHELIA!!!
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE BRITISH PACT????
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
to each his own brother....like I said the point is to be happy...whatever that entails
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-26 14:06:37 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THREE. I have THREE kids. Well, nearly.
And they ARE miracles.
The youngest, 19 months, is typing this now as I dictate from the birthing pool.
Genius.
--
LIES.
She is well into treble figures from what I saw. As she walks down the street She has to sqaut every couple of paces or so to lay another one - It's like watching Hershy's (Sp?) Kisses being made on a production line.
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Hurty used to say I am like the mum on Monty Pythons catholic/sperm is sacred song.
'Pick that up will, you, Deidre'.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:20:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the point to life....that's simple bro....happiness.
I see it like this...I didn't ask to be here so I'm not under any certain obligation to DO or leave anything behind I'm simply here to do what makes me happy. What I leave behind has really no bearing because well...I'll be dead.
I have kids, both were planned and so is the next one. I raise them and teach them because it makes me happy anything beyond that is gravy....if they are smart kids, gravy....if they cure Herpes, gravy and bonus clear up for me
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Very well put my friend. Very well put indeed. "I didn't ask to be here so I'm under no obligation". I like it. I can't live by it though.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:10:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the point to life....that's simple bro....happiness.
I see it like this...I didn't ask to be here so I'm not under any certain obligation to DO or leave anything behind I'm simply here to do what makes me happy. What I leave behind has really no bearing because well...I'll be dead.
I have kids, both were planned and so is the next one. I raise them and teach them because it makes me happy anything beyond that is gravy....if they are smart kids, gravy....if they cure Herpes, gravy and bonus clear up for me
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THREE. I have THREE kids. Well, nearly.
And they ARE miracles.
The youngest, 19 months, is typing this now as I dictate from the birthing pool.
Genius.
--
LIES.
She is well into treble figures from what I saw. As she walks down the street She has to sqaut every couple of paces or so to lay another one - It's like watching Hershy's (Sp?) Kisses being made on a production line.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well listen....the people that think that child rearing is the point to life rank right up there with religious zealots and internet douchebags = not worth holding an opinion on
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So if procreation isn't the point of life do you have an opinion on what is?
That was kind of what I was driving at with the whole desire to achieve and leave a mark when I'm gone that isn't simply my offspring.
-P
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well listen....the people that think that child rearing is the point to life rank right up there with religious zealots and internet douchebags = not worth holding an opinion on
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THREE. I have THREE kids. Well, nearly.
And they ARE miracles.
The youngest, 19 months, is typing this now as I dictate from the birthing pool.
Genius.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 09:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as to your opinion on kids or the parents of kids....you're holding an opinion that it's somewhat flawed to think that creating a child is something miraculous and I disagree with that. Don't get me wrong...I don't think I'm raising the next super genius that will one day save the planet from a fiery ball from outer space or anything like that but the simple creation of my children was miraculous....just the very idea that a little bang bang can build a fucking human....that blows my mind.
You boggle about why people are saying these things to you lends to my theory that ordinary people do extraordinary things while extraordinary people do ordinary things.
In the end I will do every thing I can to create ordinary kids that have every chance to do extraordinary things with their lives.
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Not at all.
I think the miracle of chilbirth is incredible. I was merely questioning my prior belief that it was the point of existing.
-P
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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I meant everyone apart from your 600 little miracles silly.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
as to your opinion on kids or the parents of kids....you're holding an opinion that it's somewhat flawed to think that creating a child is something miraculous and I disagree with that. Don't get me wrong...I don't think I'm raising the next super genius that will one day save the planet from a fiery ball from outer space or anything like that but the simple creation of my children was miraculous....just the very idea that a little bang bang can build a fucking human....that blows my mind.
You boggle about why people are saying these things to you lends to my theory that ordinary people do extraordinary things while extraordinary people do ordinary things.
In the end I will do every thing I can to create ordinary kids that have every chance to do extraordinary things with their lives.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now don't go "Great another post about how wonderful Paul is" because the point of this post is that I'm an egotistical alcoholic nobody.
I thought it was more of a post about you working with simpletons in a non-challenging environment because you are lazy or afraid of failure.
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Not sure I follow you.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am 38 and just getting older. If I wanted a child, I would have to get knocked up ASAP. Risk of birth defects starts going up, especially after 35.
Energy? Even though I keep myself in shape, I probably wouldn't have the constant frenetic energy required to chase a toddler around.
Besides, how fair would that be to my offspring? By the time they're 40, I would be approaching my 80's. 40 is still young. It wouldn't be right to saddle someone with an elderly parent while they are still able to get some enjoyment out of life.
The biological clock doesn't work with some people. I'm one of them. I've never heard it tick once. If it suddenly starts in a year or two, then too bad. See all the above for why.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not being trite but this post contains my sentiments exactly.
I opted out of having children.
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How old are you?
My wifes aunt, one of my aunts, and a few older friends all had the same sentiment then around 35 they changed their mind (and in one case got divorced over it) and wanted kids.
Don't know if that is common, but it certainly isn't rare. I am nto saying you will change your mind either, just always been fascinated by people who say they never want kids. I haven't wanted my own yet, but just seeing how many do when they get older or more responsible (or less responsible, depending on how you look at it) has made me leery about ever saying "i made up my mind". I have rough plans with the wife to have kids in the next 2-3 years, but no strong desire yet, although it is more appealing than it was 5, or even one year ago.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Eating, sleeping and shitting are all great pleasures.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know what I want to achieve, I just don't know how to go about it. Yet.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not being trite but this post contains my sentiments exactly.
I opted out of having children. I had my reasons, some logical and some that show my cynical distaste for our species. I told people; the world is over populated as it is, disposable diapers are toxic landfillers, kids are assholes, my genes are nothing to scream about, my mother was abusive when I was young and only stopped when I got big enough to successfully physically defend myself therefore out of fear of doing the same to my child, I just wouldn't chance it. There was no way I was going to contribute to the continuation of either side of my family nor was I going to do my part to keep the species populated.
As far as over/under acheiving, I quit worrying about that a while back. Only a ridiculously small percentage of people on Earth ever "acheive" anything noteworthy in the sense that it benefits all. Also since we've evolved to the point where the majority of our waking moments isn't dedicated to mere survival, there is a lot more time to grapple with being self-aware and what to do with ourselves.
If you can find a balance where you're relatively content, not fucking anything up too badly, not fucking over your fellow human beings, being self sufficient (i.e. not being a drain or a leech), and finding some enjoyment out of life, then you're doing fabulous. In my opinion.
But you're right. Some parents seem to believe that the sun rises and sets in their child's asshole. This is only natural. It is a nice little evolutionary instinct that ensures parents take care of their offspring so that they may survive.
What really is tedious are parents who so firmly believe their child is so special, it becomes child worship. George Carlin did several routines where he talked about how no child is special, and treating them as special little unique snowflakes is actually a disservice to the child in the long run.
Ah well. Good post! Thanks for getting me fired up!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-08-26 08:14:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now don't go "Great another post about how wonderful Paul is" because the point of this post is that I'm an egotistical alcoholic nobody.
I thought it was more of a post about you working with simpletons in a non-challenging environment because you are lazy or afraid of failure.