Retarded Driveway Antics (1654 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.69 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Grimm <--grimmguy747.at.gmail--> (View user info) at 2008-08-27 14:50:34 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-08-30 11:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-08-29 05:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-28 07:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hang on... what do you use when you park your car if you don't use the handbrake? Chocks?
I reckon that your landlord has OCD.
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bertram my black, handicrapped, child touching friend. yanks do not use handbrakes.
ever.
you see, they just put the transmission in P, for park.
now a std. transmission needs a handbrake, as the rest of the civilised but a little behind the times world will tell you.
just a cultural faux pas on your part.
it's not your fault
ps, chocks (rocks, logs, what have you) are used for faulty automatic transmissions, which do not go into P any longer.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-08-28 20:15:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even if this had sucked, you'd have gotten +2 for effort
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-08-28 18:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I must've slept like a fucking retard last night cos I have the worst neck crick ever.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Cause my boss just walked in and gave me a promotion even though I spend most my day dicking off on Ubersite. He said I am management material...
Submitted by gazaroo82 (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking loved this. I might even have to read it again
Good job
Submitted by therealgeddylee (user info) at 2008-08-28 11:35:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I chuckled gleefully throughout this whole piece.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-08-28 10:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is funny as fuck.
-the end
Submitted by jtrujillo34 (user info) at 2008-08-28 09:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Del Sol is fuckin hilarious.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-08-28 09:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-08-28 08:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was amusing.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-08-28 08:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People are freaks wherever you go, your landlord doesn't sound too weird.Just a bit off.
Submitted by myshit (user info) at 2008-08-28 08:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The emergency brake is there to 1) Engage when you are parking on a hill and 2) If you lose your brakes and need to yank it to keep from plowing into the asshat in front of you.
Am I missing any other reasons?
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Shoving the handle up your fanny, while being recorded, so that it can later appear on the internet.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-08-28 08:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-08-27 22:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if ever a landlord asked for keys to my car, he'd get a royal case of slate up his ass.
why the fuck would he EVER need to drive your car?
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Because there's a chance you'd be blocking him or is wife in the driveway and he'd need to move you temporarily so he can get out?
Look at it this way, if you didn't give it, you might not get the place. Then it really wouldn't matter.
Besides, you always did such a shit job taking care of your own car it wouldn't matter, would it Mr. "I bought an Infiniti and couldn't keep it looking decent"?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-08-28 07:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hang on... what do you use when you park your car if you don't use the handbrake? Chocks?
I reckon that your landlord has OCD.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-08-28 07:08:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Could YOU not just have taken a picture of his dune buggy..?
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-28 06:48:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Which leaf is the fucking gatekeeper".
Brilliant.
-P
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-08-28 05:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this.
Submitted by Dextreme (user info) at 2008-08-28 04:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crysis man looks canny fuckin futuristic...
my landlord is also a prick!
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-08-28 04:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sand rail
it's called a sand rail
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-28 04:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-08-28 02:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-08-27 22:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if ever a landlord asked for keys to my car, he'd get a royal case of slate up his ass.
why the fuck would he EVER need to drive your car?
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2008-08-27 21:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd
lessons!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was average. It was too long but you had pictures so I'll give you a 0.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So....filename?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-08-27 20:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
None of the gay men I know would be caught driving a Del Sol.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 18:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if your wife drives a land rover i fear you may have married a dyke, which is no bad thing so long as you get to watch and don't have to shave her back.
damn, new leaf.
this was funny, generally you are.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 18:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh, it just appeared, i think a pop up popped up and i clicked that off now everything is bsack to normal.
i am not allowed to install stuff, i break the computer when i try to install stuff.
what is wrong with 'oh goodness'? :(
it's my new leaf. nice.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-27 18:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:57:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh goodness, i dare not open my uber mail i have 75 unread messages at least 7 need replies.
i may do so tomorrow, i have a feeling this post will tickle me.
________________________________
Um..."oh goodness"? On second thought, might I just suggest Firefox and back away quietly?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:57:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh goodness, i dare not open my uber mail i have 75 unread messages at least 7 need replies.
i may do so tomorrow, i have a feeling this post will tickle me.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Grimmster. Grimm-a-ling-a-ding-dong. The Grimminator. A Grimm-in-one.
I could go on. I choose not to.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
since moving and sorting out my internet, i can't view images on uber! i jut get a little red cross! what do i do, i want to see this post!!
______________________
I'll email you the jpeg. grimmguy747 at gmail dot com
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have someone e-mail it to you??? omg that seems drastic for an uber post...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
since moving and sorting out my internet, i can't view images on uber! i jut get a little red cross! what do i do, i want to see this post!!
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's called a sand rail.
_________________________________
Yup - like I said - Dune Buggy
And in the event my landlord reads this: It was all in good fun, and I think you're a swell guy, so please don't put my shit to the curb. I'll be happy to clean the driveway once or twice instead of getting evicted.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's called a sand rail.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-08-27 17:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate when my boyfriend puts the emergency brake on in my car. We live in South Jersey for Chrissakes!
Why don't you just park on the street and pay less rent money?
The emergency brake is there to 1) Engage when you are parking on a hill and 2) If you lose your brakes and need to yank it to keep from plowing into the asshat in front of you.
Am I missing any other reasons?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
It helps take the pressure off of the transmission "park" pin while on a slope (however how slight as any forward or backwards tilt will rest the vehicle's weight on it) saving it unnecessary and costly repairs down the road. Transmission work isn't cheap.
Submitted by lotuseater (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sand car. Wow.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Or just shit in the driveway every chance you get.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:35:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go get a bottle of Armor All, you know, the stuff you use on your cheap ass vinyl car seats, and write something obscene on the driveway with it. When it rains, or when he hoses it off, that part will stay dry looking and the rest will get dark so you can see it. Cool thing is you cant see it until it gets wet. Not that I've ever done that to my ex-wife or anything...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do something robustly staining to the driveway in the middle of the night when he's (hopefully) asleep.
Make it seem like it came from one of his vehicles.
Watch the fun.
-----
FG3, I would buy you a beer so fast it'd make your eyes cross.
Submitted by Spacegrass (user info) at 2008-08-27 16:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So wait, if I show up with a 6 pack of Coronas we could hang out but a 6 pack of Sierra Nevada gets me a cold shoulder? You're a cheap date.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-07-29 00:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2008-07-28 23:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Part of the reason why you're still a virgin is your belief that being a virgin is in any way good or acceptable.
===========================================
congratulations, this is now the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to/at me, and I used to chat with Thorpe. I have no beliefs about the virtues of virginity, I'm just not that worried about it. if I went out tonight and scored, would it make any difference? would I be a better person for it? would you think of me any different just because I got a girl to give it up? no to all three. I'd still be the same person with the same quirks and the same interests, you'd still think I was the biggest dork alive, and I'd still dig stupid movies and action figures. so just fucking drop it, k?!
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NORMAN FELL! THIS POST ROCKS!!!
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:33:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drive an '88 Pontiac 6000 and I love it
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do something robustly staining to the driveway in the middle of the night when he's (hopefully) asleep.
Make it seem like it came from one of his vehicles.
Watch the fun.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate when my boyfriend puts the emergency brake on in my car. We live in South Jersey for Chrissakes!
Why don't you just park on the street and pay less rent money?
The emergency brake is there to 1) Engage when you are parking on a hill and 2) If you lose your brakes and need to yank it to keep from plowing into the asshat in front of you.
Am I missing any other reasons?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't finished reading but I just have to say I know Shlongy will get all excited when he sees the picture of Norman Fell.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:15:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aye
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-08-27 15:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LMAO nice file name
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-08-27 14:56:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my shit.
dos equis y red stripe...es muy bueno.....
ahahahaha...sand car..
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-27 14:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The +2 is solely for the bottle of Newcastle Brown in that basket of beer. It's all about the Newky.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2008-08-27 14:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit. I proofed this three times. "Ultra Guy" should be "Ultra Gay"
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-27 14:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, thats alotta work for a discussion about a driveway.