Thinking of praying.. What religion is right? you tell me! (528 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.1 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by "I got aroused by Molly Cyrus's back" (View user info) at 2008-09-05 08:51:30 EDT
So I'm thinking of praying...
Wow that was weird to write.
I'm not the most religious guy even having been born in a pretty strict catholic family. I just have somewhat lost my way and I don't quite know how to find meaning in myself anymore.
I kind of want to pursue my script writing that is going surprisingly well. I am also taking insane Bio Pre med courses and I also am thinking of doing a sport in a couple of months. I don't know how I feel about everything but maybe praying wouldn't hurt.
I have always been a person who feels that man makes his own destiny. I don't think god is irrelevant but I do feel it is very selfish and asinine to pray to god for everything you want from getting the gas prices lowered, to wishing for rain, to praying for the war to end. I can't stand people like that. I think that praying is just the work of a lot of people doing what they should do while you pray for it to happen. Praying only works when you put forth the effort. I don't like sitting back and doing what I feel is being lazy and hoping someone else will help you. Help yourself.
But I think that pride I have is what is really fucking up my fungshawy (I don't know how the fuck it's spelled). Isn't it pride that had god strike down man? Thinking that we didn't need god? Isn't that what happened in that old Moses movie the Ten Commandments? (My dad used to make me watch that movie all the time. It scared the living shit out of me as a kid. Damn it still does.) I just don't like religious things.
I'm going to write something that I haven't admitted since a child. I was born Catholic and that shit scares me. I mean really the fire and brimstones, hell, the sheep's, goat men, the devil, how god did things, the fact that he flooded and killed all of man etc... I still get uneasy when I see those types of things in stores or whenever I see those old ass Christian movies. A movie that freaked me up was the one about I think it was St, Michael where he is whipped like for 2hrs for disobeying his master. Then when he gets old they hang him upside down in a crucifixion like Jesus just upside down because he says he isn't worthy to die the same way. (I know that was fricked up huh? Think of being forced to watch that at around 7-9 years old... nightmares a plenty). I had to watch stuff like that when I was a child and also my dad would have the priest come and always bless our house with the leaf thingy to ward off evil spirits and shit. It really used to freak me out that there were spirits in my house that were so evil we had to have the priest come and ward them off.
So all that Catholic/ Christian religion scares me. It still kind of does to this day. I have a better understanding of it but I just feel uneasy. This is what killed the religion for me so to speak at a young age this question I asked my older brother...
Little Perkman: "I would think it is hard to get into heaven"
Perkman's bro: "yeah it is"
Little Perkman: Well if it's so hard that priest's and nuns might not get in how am I going to make it to heaven? If priests who have given there lives to god aren't getting in how am I going to get in to heaven?"
Perkman's bro: "uhhhhhh...."
That's is the core of what planted the seed of me not praying or really giving to much thought to my faith. I read the bible and the Ten Commandments and all that. I figured god would be pretty strict on it as he was when I read about Jobe and all those in the bible. The only ones really getting into heaven were the saints. Do you know how hard it is to become a saint? In the bible they had extreme faith then they got tortured or killed in some awful way thus proving they're faith. Now you see my reasoning as a child.
I went through my whole let me look at other religions phase. I looked at Muslims read everything and decided they were nuts. I mean we have planes and shit but you still have the mental capacity to still stone people? I mean what the fuck? Then I became Buddhist for about a good 5 months. I even lived with a Buddhist family during summer league baseball and I liked it for the most part.
The only thing that annoyed me was that they kept telling me how stupid it was to be Catholic. All day they would hit me with texts and thoughts about how unfulfilling my god was compared to theirs and it bugged the shit out of me. I liked the karma angle and I still believe in it to this day. I understand the concept. But the only thing that bugged me was the thought that Buddhists only do things for their own karma. Not to be a good person or else to be kind. But to hopefully get karma going back your way so something you want you will get or else good karma will come your way. This is alright thinking for a selfish prick but for someone like me who was raised to help others it kind of kills the point.
So I quit doing that and I looked into the thoughts of there not being a god and there being nothing. But I know the one cardinal rule.
Nothing comes from nothing. Something had to start all of this.
So I decided that is a being that we would consider "god" for the simple fact that whatever it is created our universe. It may not be the god we envision in the bible or else the Koran or any of the other religions but because it started all of this it would be considered god.
But then I have had moments where I have felt spirits or ghosts come by mea and the only way to subdue them is to do the whole "holy mother, father, and holy spirit" deal ( if your catholic you know this) and the panic, fear, being, or whatever goes away. The panic stops and I feel at ease again.
These feelings happen all the time. In my old apartment, in my house, just walking somewhere at night time, panic will just hit. You will feel it and you know something is not right, there is energy, a force, or a being around you and you can feel it because your hair stands on end. That is when I recite prayer and I become at ease. This could all be mental for me but I have asked my friends that are religious and the ones that aren't of all different faiths and they say the same thing happens to them. It could just be energy leaving the earth or something I don't know. But it's there.
So I have decided to start to pray again. Just to give me some purpose. I'm not happy, and I always am not the best friend or person I could be to my friends, or people I care about only because of my selfishness of them doing something obscure to me or else not doing exactly what I want. I don't want to do that anymore.
I don't want my friends to ignore my phone calls because I'm always a sarcastic asshole. I want to go back to being the ultimate encourager that I used to be. I want to be the person that people can and do confide in again. I want to be the humble person that gained me the respect I used to have from all people from all walks of life. I just want to smile more, and generally be happy.
I have seen life at the bottom of the bottle and I felt the pangs of being an alcoholic. Drinking every night and feeling so jaded and in pain about things you did while wasted that you regret that you just look for the bottle to get the thoughts out of your head and make you feel happy. But the happiness is fleeting as you drink more the joy turns to anger because the problem is not getting solved. You get emotional and do something you wouldn't do or say something you wouldn't say because you're so frustrated at the situation and you make it worse. You hurt those you love, you cuss out friends you care about, you punch holes in walls, or else sock holes in glass, and you wake up unaware of your actions the next night blacked out. You walk down stairs to have everyone give you a glare and ignore you. You ask what happened they tell you. You reflect and think in a drunken rage you could have killed someone. Then you get scared of what you could have done blacked out drunk. You regret it then you're so depressed about what you did and so bored and feel so shitty you turn to the bottle again to have some fun. Then rinse and repeat.
That folks is the point I was at and I got tried of it. I don't want to do it anymore. I used to think religion was the refuge of the weak. Now I realize it is the refuge of the strong. But this is all if you keep it to yourself and don't impose your faith on anyone else. If they want your advice on religious subjects or life they will ask. Don't push your will on others. That's my two cents on my life with religion. So uber do you agree or what?
Well, blow me up Uber!
User Reviews
Submitted by phuchuebuddy (user info) at 2008-09-08 20:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Become a Jew and your problems will be over
Submitted by bromide (user info) at 2008-09-08 05:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
personally i don't think any of the religions are right, they're all based on fear, yours in particular.
in reality though it's a bit of a catch 22, no-one knows for sure which is the right one til they die, then they're unable to share their knowledge with the rest of us.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-09-07 22:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-09-07 19:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-09-07 19:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Aadarm (user info) at 2008-09-07 04:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone is their own god, knowledge is the ultimate truth and power, and self indulgence is the key to life, because it's short and there is no after life. Religion is nothing but a poison that infects the masses with ignorance.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-09-07 03:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2008-09-05 20:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
take an advanced genetics course. that'll show you the way.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-09-05 18:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Okay, I was able to read the post this time and I've got to say, these "shivers" are tricks of the mind. Prayer makes you feel better because it stops your fear of the unknown - you feel that whatever unknown thing you are SURE is lurking out of sight will be driven away. In reality, there is nothing.
Submitted by Ltap (user info) at 2008-09-05 18:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's a newsflash: there is no meaning to life. We live and then we die and all we can do is enjoy it as much as we can.
Submitted by DanielJackings (user info) at 2008-09-05 13:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Seek God in your own way, not what some guy in a suit tells you about him (in between various requests for money). I just think that God is too big to be contained in any religion.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-09-05 12:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I usually pray to either God or Satan depending on what I'm praying for. Sometimes I pray to Mark Richt. I get marginal results at best from all three.
Here's a +2 because the part where you started randomly blathering on about "sheep's" and "goat men" made me laugh pretty hard.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-05 12:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You really, truly sound like the biggest fucking pussy ever to get accepted into a Community College.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-05 11:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DON'T PICK THE WRONG ONE whatever you do. You'll burn in Hell forever.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-09-05 09:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Acceptable religions for white middle-class Americans include: Catholicism, and mainstream Protestant denominations such as Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopal, Presbyterian, Congregationlist, and 3-4 others.
You're welcome.
Submitted by Harmon (user info) at 2008-09-05 09:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You might just be the dumbest person on the planet, and I say that with zero malice. It's just a scientific observation. I can't even wrap my brain around how stupid you are. I'm really, truly, honestly disturbed by how stupid you are.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-09-05 09:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha thank you hadely. haha thanks...
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2008-09-05 09:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no right or wrong when it comes to religion.
One religion can not help you get into Heaven.
Pick what is right for you. You'll know it's right because you will just be able to feel it. Can't say it any more plainly than that.
You not posting here anymore just feels right. Start there.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-09-05 08:59:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well let me know guys...