I Do Not Want to Be a Rapper, I Want to Be a Rappist (517 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by d'ohnuts (View user info) at 2008-09-11 11:00:09 EDT
I even tried to be a disc jockey once, scratching records at clubs and it would of course be all the hot shit. The problem was I couldn't think of a good DJ name like DJ Storm or DJ Clue and the best thing I could come up with is DJ Underwear. Yeah, I gave up that dream along with my dream of becoming a professional street hockey player when I was a kid.
Being a guitarer isn't as cool as being a guitarist said my best friend of two days, Saul. Saul, along with Jesus, is a kike but that doesn't stop him from aspiring to his dreams. Too bad he has that silly hat on his head all the time. I mean why the fuck would you get a hat that is 3 sizes too small and only 1/5 of a whole hat? It doesn't make sense but neither did becoming a disc jockey so I don't argue with him and I just let him where whatever style hat he wants.
Anyway, I believe I digressed because I was getting ready to tell you how I was in a pawn shop in Oklahoma selling my Garbage Pail Kids trading cards, my life's one true achievement, so I could tour on a rappist bus. I was able to get an ice cream truck instead and I figured that I'd start my rappist career by rapping little kids deaf. Well, I would try to rap until they were deaf anyway. They were an easy audience and didn't mind my rapping them. Very rarely did any of them complain, especially since I was handing out candy and ice cream.
Then I lost my puppy which forced me to hand out lost puppy signs to the young kid rappist community I had started. Of course they found the puppy and brought it to my ice cream truck. That's pretty much where I've been but I'm looking to expand my horizons by rapping men and women instead of little kids. If anyone has an opening for a party or cocktail party I'd be happy to share my rappist skillz in public or private. Hell, I'll come to you.
User Reviews
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-09-23 00:06:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I loved the title.
And I tried so fucking hard to like it.
I did.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-22 23:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-09-22 22:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Consider becoming a rapist. It's almost 'rappist', without the pressure of playing stadium shows and better odds of getting laid (hint: you will).
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How does one become a- what was it again?- a 'rapist'?
This sounds like a career that pays big dividends.
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-09-22 22:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Consider becoming a rapist. It's almost 'rappist', without the pressure of playing stadium shows and better odds of getting laid (hint: you will).
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-09-13 03:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-09-11 17:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by nick44 (user info) at 2008-09-11 13:12:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Disappointing...thought you were a poor speller making a career change to sodomy.
To steal one from arrested development- you could name your self G-Rational- the analytical rappist (abbreviated AnalRappist)
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-09-11 12:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
good post MC-Men
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-09-11 12:12:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more rap
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-09-11 12:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go rap yourself.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I have the perfect name for you. In the vein of G-Money, D-Thug, and J-Lo you can be C-Rappist.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wanted to like this, but you didn't deliver.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
weak
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You fail at life.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You appear to be having about as much success with this account as the "real" dohnuts did.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are strange.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not meant to be funny. It's a true story, dufus.
Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nowhere near as funny as you probably thought it would be. Did you giggle as you wrote it?
Submitted by Garrik (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Saul, along with Jesus, is a kike but that doesn't stop him from aspiring to his dreams.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2008-09-11 11:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*wear
yeah, that guy