I Caught 78 Mice (and Counting) in One Single Trap Since April (1091 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.23 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2008-09-15 09:29:38 EDT
Fucking mice! They're destructive little bastards, always getting into things and chewing shit up. Especially plastic shit like electrical insulation or drip irrigation. Especially drip irrigation: tasty plastic on the outside, refreshing water on the inside. I hate the little bastards.
I've always kept a few cats around, thinking they'd keep the mouse population in check. My opinion of cats, however, is now at an all time low. You don't catch 78 mice in five months if your cats are doing their jobs. Fucking cats. I should stop feeding them.
What kind of trap catches mice in such quantities, you ask? Let me tell you, it's a beautiful thing. I'm reminded, once again, of the old engineering adage, "It's easy to design something complicated; its much more difficult to design something simple." The beauty of this trap is not only in its effectiveness, but in its simplicity.
This trap is nothing more than a five gallon bucket with a half gallon of water in the bottom. I leave it just outside my garden. The mice smell the water. They easily jump up onto the rim of the bucket. They see the water inside. It's hard to say what they're thinking at this point. Maybe the refractive properties of water make it look less deep than it is. They don't realize they won't be able to jump back out again. "I just jumped up here once, didn't I? Why shouldn't I be able to do it again?" Maybe they're so thirsty they don't even give a fuck.
Once they jump in, of course, their feet can't touch bottom so there's no way they're jumping back out. I don't know how long it takes them to drown. Long enough to contemplate the error of their ways, at least. I like to think they spend an hour or two in there, dog paddling furiously away, rubbing their poor little noses raw on the side of the bucket as their batteries slowly run down. In reality I suspect the end comes far too quickly for them.
The amazing thing about the bucket trap is that it catches multiple mice at once without having to reset, rebait or empty it. Don't ask me what mouse number two is thinking, sitting on the rim, looking down at mouse number one splashing around in there. I don't even know if mouse number one is still alive when number two arrives. If you saw a dead body floating in a well, would you dive in for a drink? Fucking mice. I've found as many as seven at once in the trap. What the hell were they thinking?
I check the bucket every few days and fish the victims out by their tails. Once a week or so I change the water before it gets too nasty, although the mice don't seem to care. I lay their bodies out on a stump nearby. Something always takes them away within a day. I'm not sure what. Probably my cats. The least they could do is get them directly out of the bucket and save me the trouble. Although then I'd never know my body count. Finding them in there is more satisfying than you can imagine. I never get tired of that.
The mouse's perspective: http://www.ubersite.com/m/115376
User Reviews
Submitted by HotDogma (user info) at 2008-09-19 23:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahh the science of murder, delicious murder
Submitted by 200killerwasps (user info) at 2008-09-17 08:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is so nasty...
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-17 01:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, if anything there are more this year than last, and last year was the first on record. I suspect the bucket trap merely creates a local mouse vaccum in the overall habitat. But you know what they say about nature and a vaccum. I tend to catch them in waves. For a week straight I'll find multiple mice every time I check the bucket, then nothing for a few days or a week. Then another wave. Whole families of them at a time: the two adults and all the children. Just look at the picture! It's fucking awesome.
Submitted by UCSBguy (user info) at 2008-09-16 23:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let me ask you this: have you actually seen a drop in these creatures presence or is it like the Yellow Jacket paradox.
Submitted by Charlton_H (user info) at 2008-09-16 20:03:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-09-16 19:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by therealgeddylee (user info) at 2008-09-16 17:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack_McCallum
"but to cause unnecessary suffering is wrong.
Even if they are pesky mice. Kill 'em quick and fast, I don't mind, but use YOUR mind to come up with a better way of getting rid of them. They may not feel much, but they can feel terror."
Dear Jack,
You are a fucking pussy. I bet you're also vegetarian and regularly attend Vagina Monologues. They can feel terror? Too bad. They're an inconvenience, we are humans. We fucking rule.
Love,
Geddy
--
Attn: Mr. Stupid Username... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma_in_Buddhism
Submitted by therealgeddylee (user info) at 2008-09-16 17:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack_McCallum
"but to cause unnecessary suffering is wrong.
Even if they are pesky mice. Kill 'em quick and fast, I don't mind, but use YOUR mind to come up with a better way of getting rid of them. They may not feel much, but they can feel terror."
Dear Jack,
You are a fucking pussy. I bet you're also vegetarian and regularly attend Vagina Monologues. They can feel terror? Too bad. They're an inconvenience, we are humans. We fucking rule.
Love,
Geddy
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-09-16 16:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
haven't you seen ratatouille?! bastard!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-16 15:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like the beginning of a plan for me, though I'll probably do something similar, only with ammonia pumped in as an aerosol agent, then have a group of friends hanging around with golf clubs.
Whack-a-Mole takes on a whole new meaning, and I might even be able to charge a cover fee for my "course."
Also: Your send-in has been duplicated 9 times at this point, and is being distributed as far afield as Brazil, India, and Scotland.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-16 12:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-16 06:52:09 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chairman Meow regularly brings down rabbits, and I haven't seen a live mouse since we got him, but moles are a different manner as he has poor digging abilities.
I've been tempted to release the ferrets into the tunnels to make their worst nightmare come true, but I doubt they'd come back. Any suggestions?
-----------
I don't know anything about ferrets, but the best way I've seen to get rid of gophers and moles is to use this device that pumps propane down into their tunnels and then ignites it. It's not quite Caddyshack, but still fun.
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2008-09-16 10:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is kind of disturbing... and not in a good "Ubersite made me cringe way".
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-16 09:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chairman Meow regularly brings down rabbits, and I haven't seen a live mouse since we got him, but moles are a different manner as he has poor digging abilities.
I've been tempted to release the ferrets into the tunnels to make their worst nightmare come true, but I doubt they'd come back. Any suggestions?
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-15 22:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't believe in karma, and I don't believe I'm causing the mice unnecessary suffering. What constitutes "unnecessary" suffering is a matter of opinion, of course, and you're entitled to yours. It's necessary to keep them out of my garden to preserve the integrity of my drip irrigation system and ensure the health of my plants. I've tried preventing them from getting in with fencing, but that's a losing proposition. They can squeeze through openings as small as 1/4 inch square and climb any fence.
I'm not convinced the mice suffer that much--less so than with more conventional pest control measures. Poisons cause them to hemorrhage internally and bleed to death, which sounds worse than drowning to me. The good old spring traps are pretty painless provided they snap the mouse's neck, but I've found they sometimes miss the neck and break the back instead. I've found mice still alive in the trap like that; given a choice, I'd take drowning any day.
Now, maybe it was callous of me to say, "I like to think they spend an hour or two in there, dog paddling furiously away, rubbing their poor little noses raw on the side of the bucket as their batteries slowly run down." I'll grant you that. But as I say, in reality they probably perish very quickly. And I think they suffer less by drowning than they would by any of the various alternatives they'd otherwise inevitably succumb to: being ripped apart by a raptor or a cat or a fox or a raccoon; crushed by a snake; or, most likely of all, slowly dying of thirst as the summer progresses and their natural water sources disappear.
As for feeling empathy toward them, well, if you'd suffered as much aggravation and expense as I have by their gnawing little teeth, I think you'd be a little less inclined to sympathize with them. And I hardly feel as though I'm "[pounding my] chest like a 800lb Silver back." I'm just blown away that such a simple device is so effective.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2008-09-15 21:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
almost a "pound your chest like a 800lb Silver back" moment...I kinda have to agree with Jack. Use your brain and out think the bastards. Therein lies the true victory. Kinda like smiling, knowingly at someone who just stole from you...
Karma takes notes and uses them later.
Submitted by metalbeast7 (user info) at 2008-09-15 21:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have fucking mice in my house
now i know how to take care of them
br00tal
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-09-15 19:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of this sicko at work who makes all the mice spoon in a big line with their paws over the other's shoulder (dead) after a necropsy
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-15 18:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess it just depends on what you consider to be "unnecessary suffering."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-09-15 17:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude, I like you, I really do, but to cause unnecessary suffering is wrong.
Even if they are pesky mice. Kill 'em quick and fast, I don't mind, but use YOUR mind to come up with a better way of getting rid of them. They may not feel much, but they can feel terror.
Empathy, man.
And remember, for every mouse that drowns slowly your karma gets more and more fucked.
Submitted by Clamato (user info) at 2008-09-15 17:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the icing on top of this post
was the proof.
thank you ever so much for the pictures!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-09-15 15:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuchuebuddy (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this. Also, the proof it's true is in the photos. Nice post.
Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate those little bastards. I had something similar to this. It was a big trashcan thing with about a fourth of it filled with dog food. They smelled it and jumped in to eat then kept jumping up trying to get out. Alas, they could not. Of course, I then had to grab them somehow while still alive. Never thought about the drowning idea.......
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:14:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sicosemen or Oathy hijacked alter, below.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:09:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That is so awesome. I've been giggle like a little kid since reading it.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually I'm not even 100% sure they're mice. Their ears appear to be too large, and they have large, heavy snouts. I've had no luck matching them to any species of mouse.
I've also caught a handful of chipmunks in this trap, as well as two small birds, one of which I rescued.
Submitted by jtrujillo34 (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, the mice are attracted to water. You've confused them with jtrujillo34's pests.
------------------------------------
Nice. Shut that cunt up.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, the mice are attracted to water. You've confused them with jtrujillo34's pests.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mice are attracted to dirt and filth. Perhaps you should clean up whatever is attracting them and you wouldn't have this problem.
Submitted by jtrujillo34 (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could picture it now. Six niggers laid out on a stump in front of my house.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck dealing with that whole "bubonic plague" thing.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You've made the folks at PETA cry. Expect a statement from Pamela Anderson soon.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-15 12:00:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Filename: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuFXBjWfhDA
I don't think I've seen that cartoon since I was eight. I can't recall any of the episodes, but the theme song still runs through my head like it was yesterday.
Submitted by jtrujillo34 (user info) at 2008-09-15 11:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Do you think it will work for the niggers around my house?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-15 11:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The post was written well, but I feel bad for the mice. :(
I agree...mice ARE like little ninjas!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-15 11:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummm, you seem to have a rodent problem.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-15 10:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
poor mice!! I quite like mice, crafty sods, nimble like ninjas
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-09-15 10:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Impressive. Our office could do with one of those.
Submitted by Lamia (user info) at 2008-09-15 10:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you will be pleased to hear the mices suffer a long time in there. we once had to drown some rats and they paddle like hell till they they can't paddle anymore then sink.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-09-15 10:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a lot of mice.
"I don't know how long it takes them to drown. Long enough to contemplate the error of their ways,"
I think you're on the right track here, but photographing the dead mice and keeping trophies is probably wrong.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-15 10:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, the trap will start to stink if I leave the mice in it too long. The key is to check it every two or three days. I came home from a two week, out-of-town trip to find them decomposing in there and yeah, it really stunk. Sometimes I'll add a teaspoon of bleach to the water, which helps during hot weather.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-09-15 10:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yozz has No Comment - its way too fucking early.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-09-15 09:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
never knew this.....
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-09-15 09:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cats are fucking rubbish. My 11 month old laborador would enjoy killing all those mice. It'd be like a game for her.
Submitted by Dextreme (user info) at 2008-09-15 09:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe... stoopid mices
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-09-15 09:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Although cats are killers, they're lazy. My cats' only job is to eliminate whatever stray insect finds its way into the house.
I've come home only to find the two of them lounging on the window sills, watching a bug make its way across the floor.
Good job on the building a better mousetrap! Doesn't it stink? I know you empty it freqently but still, you would think there would be an odor.