Absolutes - Shittard Driving (567 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.54 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by d'ohnuts (View user info) at 2008-09-15 14:28:24 EDT
What mutant brand of retard is responsible for teaching so many assholes to drive like they are trying to smear shit on the highways? It can't all be attributed to new drivers because I see this in just about every town I've ever been in. Young drivers, old drivers, middle aged drivers, etc. are all dipshits. Complete and utter dipshits.
And god forbid you have any type of inclement weather to add to colossal shittiness that is city driving. Unless it is a white wash of rain there is no need to slam on the breaks when you are traveling on the interstate. Snow does not mean that you have to drive 5 god damn, mother fucking miles an hour. Stay on the throttle and quit being such a giant pussy that one errant snow flake sends your car careening off into the median causing a back up for miles and miles.
Old people, stop driving 10 miles an hour under the speed limit. You fucking mongoloids are destroying a perfect harmony on the highways. If you are afraid of your vehicle don't get in it. If you are afraid to use your automobile for a safety suggested speed then take streets and back roads to get your destination. You make it unsafe for people to drive and when I creep up behind you, it means get the fuck out of the way. Do not continue to do 10 miles an hour slower in the fast lane. I swear on something (insert whatever is important to you) that when I drive by you and give you the stink eye it's not because I'm happy. When I see your gray hair I get so enraged. I want to feel the feeling that comes with smashing your face with a croquet mallet until it's spongy and soft.
Tailgaters, get off of my ass. If you want to speed, fine. Allow me the proper time to get out of the way in a safe and orderly manner. I understand that you are in a hurry but speeding around me and then cutting me off causes me to drive erratically. Also, if I'm on a one lane highway and can't get over, riding my ass isn't going to help you get there any sooner. As a matter of fact, I tend to slow down because you find it necessary to huff my emissions. You are not making me any more happy, assholes.
Shut the fuck up! Get off the phone and drive. Enough said!
If everyone went to MY school of driving there would not be any problem. For every ass stick out there teaching your kids to drive like a complete autard, stop it.
Knock it the fuck off.
I'm not smiling.
anti:
User Reviews
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2008-09-17 16:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
vanquished.
Submitted by Lamia (user info) at 2008-09-17 03:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-09-15 15:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not the best way of verbalizing it, but I definitely sympathize. When I get rich after Shlongy leaves me my inheritence, I'm going to buy a shitty car that runs and just smash people in better cars that drive like morons.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-09-15 15:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off, nonuts. The only driving you ever get in is when your daddy drives you to another 'food service' job interview.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-09-15 15:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
THANKS FOR THE BREAKING UPDATE, TED! NOW TO WEATHER ON THE EIGHTS!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
retal
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
to trite. sorry.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn it. If I was GOING to post an Absolute post it WOULD HAVE BEEN on idiot drivers.
Points for brilliance, then.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can you guys circle jerk on another post?
Thanks,
Management
Baskin Robbins
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuckquilt is the most embarrassingly pisspoor attempt at an insult ever. Seriously, do the pity competition, I'll add that to the list.
Submitted by Garrik (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
redskies is a moronic fuckquilt.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-09-15 14:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment