Secret lives of my co-workers, not monkeying around (692 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.23 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ralphyboy (View user info) at 2008-09-23 16:24:41 EDT
Ok, I see where this is going, how about one from somebody other than monkeyswithguns:
Jennifer:
Jennifer is a waifish blonde with a very slim waist and larger than normal......teeth. Her butter face is overshadowed by her large bosoms and her penchant for coloring her hair. She hangs out in the Documentation department by day, processing document changes and asking inane questions to a group of PhD's that are bothered by the red tape, but spend time with the young blonde.
Now the speculation:
Jennifer tends to be a little slower than your normal blonde in the morning, most likely due to the excessive partying the night before. She takes all morning to get her act together and is starting to show the signs of early aging that come in with burning the candle at both ends. By lunch, she is starting to act normal, and even personable. On this day, she leaves work exactly at 4:30 with the young Hispanic guy from security. Even though he co-workers believe that they are just ridesharing, we all know that she is sharing more than the 4 wheels to the city of Lawrence.
Jennifer tells Javier to pull into the Cumby's to get her a pack of Marlboros. All day she has to refrain from smoking, and at 4:45 she is ready for a hit. He pulls in, and she gets out, going to the counter and ordering up her pack. The counterperson asks her for an id, which of course she doesn't have with her. With a pouty look, and some quick thinking, she invites him to the back room to "check the inventory". Of course, being a red blooded male, he obliges, bringing the pack with him.
He closes the door behind them, hoping to get some oral stimulation, and backs away from the lockset. She pulls up her blouse, raises her bra, and shows him what he has desired the previous ten visits to the store without ID, a nice rack.
A quick peck on the cheek, and she is gone in a flash, placing the Pepsi cooler on the door corner. Her hands work quickly, opening the register and then running to the car with her prizes. Javier starts up the engine, and bolts the little car into traffic.
Several miles down the road, the State Police catch up with the little ricer. Guns drawn, the pull Javier out of the car, face down on the pavement. Spread eagle and crying, he is cuffed and stuffed into the back of the cruiser.
Jennifer is brought to the side of the road and questioned. Crying a river, she tells cops that Javier was in the store and stole the cash and cigarettes, and he forced her to help. She gets a tap on the wrist, he gets 10 yrs for armed robbery.
User Reviews
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-09-24 17:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Let the monkeys handle this one, mmmkay?
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-09-24 17:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, doesn't that store have cameras?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-24 16:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh i think you can do better, i couldnt but you can
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-09-24 13:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this earlier, sure it ain't as good as mwg's but it ain't so bad it should have a negative rating.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-24 09:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-09-24 06:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Hmmmmm, this wasn't terrible.
But next to Monkey's masterpieces I can't accept it as more than a -1.
Sorry.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-09-24 06:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Hmmmmm, this wasn't terrible.
But next to Monkey's masterpieces I can't accept it as more than a -1.
Sorry.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-09-24 06:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Really poor.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-24 02:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-28 10:55:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH YES THE FUCK STAINS OF HUMANITY BURN MY URETHRA SO GOOOOOOOOD!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37531
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-09-23 23:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Come on Virgina
Don't make me wait
You catholic girls start much too late
aww but sooner or later it comes down to fate
i might as well be the one.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-09-23 20:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-09-23 19:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This wasn't THAT bad. I agree: a little over the top. Monkeys' was a tough act to follow.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-23 17:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_of_Spades (user info) at 2008-09-23 16:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
=======================
Fuck it, I have low standards and I'll take what I can get.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-23 17:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, there goes the Shlongy +2 streak on this series.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-23 16:55:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_of_Spades (user info) at 2008-09-23 16:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...except in this case.
This is crap, and likely insulting to monkeyswithguns.
===
All right, I have thought this through. I will send Bart the money to
fly home, then I will murder him.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart on the Road
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-23 16:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-09-23 16:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
It's not well written and over the top. Try again.