Grueberfest Round 1 - The Gargoyle (539 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (View user info) at 2008-09-24 08:31:46 EDT
The old house stood at the end of the cul-de-sac, behind a rusting cast iron fence. Over a hundred years of weather had taken their toll on the structure. The façade was grey and cracking, loose shingles littered the unkempt lawn - torn off by the wind. The dilapidated toolshed leant drunkenly against an ancient oak looming large over the front yard. A motley collection of aged 'No Trespassing' and 'Keep Out' signs clattered against each other as they swung from the spike-tipped black gate.
Travis barely noticed any of this, his attention was focused squarely on the stone pedestal in the middle of the yard - specifically the stone gargoyle perched atop it. Poised, as if to leap forth and unfold its expansive wings, the menacing canine looked frighteningly real, jowls pulled back in a perpetual snarl. He shivered.
Between the pedestal and the slowly disintegrating boards of the front porch, Travis could make out his soccer ball, nestled amongst the weeds. His brother Jason ran over to join him.
"Go on. Get it!"
"I can't squeeze through the fence"
"Sure you can. You'll fit easy."
He peered nervously into the darkening yard "I'll get it in the morning."
"Chicken!" Cried Jason, flapping his arms and scratching at the ground with his sneakers. "Booook! Bokbokbok!"
Travis pushed his twin brother, almost toppling him over.
"Am not!"
"It's ok," Jason teased "you're allowed to be scared."
"If you're so tough, why don't you come get it with me?"
"'Cause you kicked it over the fence in the first place. You hafta go and get it."
"Now who's chicken, huh?"
"Fine!" Jason rolled his eyes with all the haughtiness an eight-year-old can muster. "Let's go before it gets any darker."
A chilly breeze sprang up as the two boys squeezed between the bars in the fence and into the overgrown yard, causing the signs to bang loudly on the gate. They trudged past the gargoyle, which glowered at them with features of stone.
As Travis bent over to pick up the ball, he heard a squealing behind him, and the beating of wings. Startled, he turned to see Jason on all fours in the grass, the source of the noise - a large raven - flapped lazily past, and squawked loudly for effect before ascending into the oak tree above.
Somewhat sheepishly, Jason stood back up. "I tripped" he explained hurriedly.
"Suuuure you did."
"Just shut up. Let's go."
They began walking back towards the fence, giving the statue a wide berth when Travis heard the growling, a low guttural sound coming from the direction of the pedestal. He span around just in time for a huge pair of heavy paws to hit his chest, driving the wind from his lungs. He managed one gasp before his head struck the ground, knocking him out.
Jason saw the huge dark shape land on his brother and started running for safety of the fence. He was barely ten paces away when he caught his right foot on one of the old oak's twisted roots and careened headfirst into the weeds. Pain shot through his right ankle his fall twisted it at an unnatural angle. He cried out, only to have the pain in his sprained ankle replaced by pure agony as a large pair of jaws closed around left foot.
Long yellow teeth punctured first his shoe, then his foot, small bones cracking under immense pressure. He kicked with his free leg, but might as well have been kicking a brick wall for all the effect it was having. As he screamed, the creature let go and stalked forwards, towering over his trembling form. With an immense paw, it rolled the small boy over and leaned down.
Vision blurred by tears, Jason made out a vicious snout as blood-tinged spittle dripped from pointed teeth onto his chest and hot, rank breath gusted across his skin. The beast's black eyes gleamed as it opened wide. The boy whimpered helplessly as the jaws closed over his face.
Screaming became impossible as jagged canines tore into his cheeks, raking through the soft flesh all the way to the bone. He felt a sandpaper tongue on his nose as his cheekbones gave way and snapped, Jason slid from unbearable pain into unconsciousness as the mangled bones mashed his eyes into their sockets, thick black fluid leaking from beneath torn eyelids.
A few metres away, Travis came to slowly and groggily, as he sat up he could make out a large dark shape and could hear strange snapping noises, like someone pulling apart a roast chicken with their bare hands, emanating from the shadows of the oak. As quietly as possible, he started crawling towards the front gate.
With a sharp noise, a fallen twig broke beneath him. The yard fell silent and Travis froze. A bloodcurdling howl filled the air and he could feel the rhythmic thumping through the soft earth as the beast hurtled towards him. Too late he began to sprint for the fence. Powerful jaws locked tightly around his neck, warm blood spurting on the weeds below, his trachea squeezed shut. With a deft flick of its jaws, the creature snapped his neck, the lifeless body hanging limply from its mouth.
"Drop it!"
The animal obeyed the stern voice, letting the corpse flop onto the ground.
The old man looked from the body, to the huge Rottweiler, and back again.
"Fucking kids." He muttered, jabbing the prone form with a gnarled walking stick. He clicked his tongue in irritation, looking at the signs hanging from the fence. "When will they learn to read?"
He turned on his heel and hobbled back to the front door. "Don't leave that lying there when you're done."
The old Rottweiler flopped down on the grass and began gnawing contentedly on Travis' left arm. Behind it, the winged sculpture it had inspired many years ago looked on impassively from its pedestal in the middle of the yard.
User Reviews
Submitted by simplemindedhafwit (user info) at 2008-10-02 19:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It seemed to me like a mix between "The Sand Lot" and "Goose Bumps." But what do I know I'm just a simplemindedhafwit? I will say I love the way you so quickly and some what effortlessly describe a situation. I tend to ramble, trying to get the picture right. Where as you seem to have a knack for nailing it and moving on to the meat of the matter. Me? I go on and on and then find myself somewhere else entirely. I can't seem to just say "the sky was a basic blue." I have to say something like "the sky was a blue that you take for granted. You know the kind of blue that you see everyday. The kind of blue that was most likely there on the day you were born and for many days beyond that. The kind of blue that's nothing special. That is until you see it with her in the foreground. Then it becomes a different blue all together. It becomes a blue like you have never witnessed. A blue custom crafted for the purest of pure white clouds. A blue made for killing." Then I would stab her repeatidly and finish her off by removing her head with a sawzall.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-09-29 17:07:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
....I would have to give your opponent the nod.
Only just though, because I enjoyed both.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-09-29 17:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Read this when it first went up, and just read again now. Good piece, but...
Submitted by Brian_Johns (user info) at 2008-09-27 22:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-09-25 17:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol @ Snark!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-09-25 17:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 for the story
+1 for outing Frank's animal tongue knowledge.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh, this felt like I had read it or seen it happen in a movie countless times. Couple that with the formatting (where there's dialog), and I just wasn't into it in the slightest.
I have indeed, seen better (-1)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Aside from formatting issues I thought this was a good old fashioned horror tale with a nice splash of grue. Well done.
Submitted by Gyro_Gearloose (user info) at 2008-09-25 12:12:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-09-25 05:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
for the surprising ending
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2008-09-24 17:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
spellcheck. and dogs don't have sandpaper tongues, that's cats
Submitted by John_H_Kim (user info) at 2008-09-24 14:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-09-24 13:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by Lamia (user info) at 2008-09-24 10:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If it was 'Goosebumps' it would have been the gargoyle!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-24 09:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I saw it coming a mile away, and was determined to give this a 0 rating if it hadn't been a dog, but since it was, this was good.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-24 09:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok, sure. This works for me.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-09-24 08:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
'Goosebumps'