10 tiny true stories (784 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.38 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by fallout (View user info) at 2008-09-25 04:36:47 EDT
Thought I would try this. Thanks for reading, and not judging me, I have changed.
Man, looking at these in print make me realize just how bad a guy I was. Thankfully I stopped the drug habit right about 18, when most, but not all of these happened.
1. My friend and I almost got shot one day while running amok in businesses "challenging them to Karate Duels!". The last business we went to do this was a chinese liquor store we used to run into and steal cigarettes from. We jumped into the store and Challenged him. The guy grabbed a shotgun and shot it into the wall. Never did that again.
2. The aforementioned friend and I got caught stealing cigarettes and beer from another convienience store. We had done beer runs on it a few times before, and decided to try it again, even though we didn't have a car. When the police came, and they drove me home, even though I wanted and asked to go to Juvenile Hall. I will never forget the look of sadness in his eyes when he opened the door.
3. I ran a guy over once. I was so freaked out that the first thought in my head was to back over him again and finish off the guy. I didn't follow through with it, and found out the guy was one of them con men who do it for a living. I kicked the crap out of him afterwards, and explained the first thoughts I had. I hope he either changed his ways, or someone finally finished him off.
4. I shot my mom in the foot with a .22 caliber rifle. I was a young punk hopped up on the drugs, and told her to dance, while pointing the rifle at her feet. She didn't. That was what started me thinking about my life, and it help change me. We actually both laughed about it the other day.
5. My dad was the president of the soccer orginization in the small town I grew up in, and had always coached basketball, tee-ball, and soccer teams prior to that. He turned around the entire town's sports, getting them all affiliated with large orginizations and funding. I got to help run the snack shack because of this. I robbed it (again while hopped up on the drugs). My dad never coached another sport again after that
6. I helped in taking care of my nephew for the first few years of his life. One time when he was 6 months he was sick and wouldn't quit crying, no matter what I did. I started freaking out and had thoughts of shaking him until he quit crying. Thankfully my sister came home right about that time. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had actually done that.
7. When I was a bouncer I had sex with a 14 year old girl. At the time I thought she was 16, and had known her and her mom for quite a while. They used to come to one of the places I worked and I would let them in. I found out a few days later that she had just turned 14, and never spoke to them again. Her mom didn't seem to care. What kind of life is that for a young girl?
8. I had sex with my best friends girlfriend also. They were only still together because she had nowhere else to go, and hewas "in love". One night the 3 of us got drunk in a hotel room. He passed out, and I proceeded to bang the shit out of her in the bed next to him. They broke up not 3 weeks later. He apparently "turned gay" after that, and our friendship fell out.
9. Once, while working a show a guy hit me in the back of the head. Only because I was a bouncer, not for any other reason. When I got him in the hallway 2 other guys and I worked him over until he was a heap. That was probably the worst beating I ever did to anyone, and it felt great. I wonder if he ever did that again?
10. Stabbed my brother when he was 14 and I was 17. He started a fight with me, and grabbed a bat, so I waited until he swung and stabbed him in the arm. He had to go to the hospital and get stitches. I regret that. We have never been real close since. Wonder if it is him, or me?
User Reviews
Submitted by bugblender (user info) at 2009-11-02 07:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No to worry, the statute of Limitations on the 13 year old you were with hasn't yet run out. She has 15 years from her 18th birthday to turn you in to the police.
No one that knows you would talk to the cops, right?
What a wonderful piece of stupid you are.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2008-09-27 00:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You shot your mom eh?
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actually, yes, I did. I didnt think she would just stand there, I was high. I figured she would jump when I shot the rifle into the ground by her feet.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You shot your mom eh?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-09-26 12:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not totally convincing, but entertaining nevertheless.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-09-26 12:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not totally convincing, but entertaining nevertheless.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2008-09-25 20:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-09-25 19:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These seemed inauthentic
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they are 100 percent true. I would elaborate more on them, but as the bandwagon says, they are tiny true facts/stories
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-09-25 20:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. My friend and I almost got shot one day while running amok in businesses "challenging them to Karate Duels!".
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Hahaha holy shit.. That's awesome. Now I have to go read the rest of this.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-09-25 19:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These seemed inauthentic
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-09-25 13:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha below.
HI EXPERIMA!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-09-25 13:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck off scourge. i didn't invent the bandwagon itself just this one.
link backs used to be standard and i never heard you bitch about anyone linking to you.
ps i love you
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-09-25 13:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
experima thinks she invented the fucking concept of a bandwagon apparently.
ENOUGH WITH THAT LINK BACK SHIT, WOMAN. ENOUGH, I SAY.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-09-25 12:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
link back
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114095
Submitted by John_H_Kim (user info) at 2008-09-25 11:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-09-25 10:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too many of these are morbid but some made me laugh.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-25 09:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Locksly...I hate the word "ain't". Hate it. Come on...you're better than that.
Anyway, interesting post.
Here, have a point. Just one though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I left out an "e". So have a -3.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Even if these ain't true, they are probably based upon some type of fact.
plus 1
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-09-25 07:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm plus 2ing anyone who does these...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-09-25 04:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm willing to bet that not many of these are true.
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It's one thing to stretch the truth, but these have been stretched beyond their maximum "suspension of belief" rating.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
id rather he got the electric chair
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EI definitely do one of these, its gonna be a long day at work today.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
id rather he got the electric chair
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You should get the elctric chair.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-25 08:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BEWARE EI MAY DO ONE OF THESE LATER!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-09-25 07:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm plus 2ing anyone who does these...
good shit.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2008-09-25 07:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy crap! What'd that giant thing in coming upon us! Why its a big bucket of "I don't give a shit and neither does anybody else, and you're boring"
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-09-25 07:12:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"told her to dance, while pointing the rifle at her feet. She didn't."
Ha!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-25 07:05:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-09-25 05:56:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You've restored my faith in the internet Bertram; thank you.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-09-25 05:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wuzi's 10 tiny stories had this in them:
6. A friend of mine had a girlfriend that he loved a while ago. They had dated off and on for quite some time. She and I had been friends since the time they started dating. I always looked for a reason to fuck her because my buddy had stabbed me in the back so many times. One night, when we were all three drunk at my place, I fucked her in my bed while he was passed out on the floor beside us. How he never woke up was beyond me because she was pretty loud. He still hasn't found out, and I don't regret that night one bit.
Is this what the cool kids do these days? or got some stories mixed up?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-09-25 05:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you want an absouloubtly true story, Hurty, I've got one for you:
Back when I was in that barber shop quartet in Skookie, Illinois I got involved with some bad people. It was a very strange time for me; waking to find myself trapped in the past and facing mirror images that were not my own, eating hamburgers and trying to sing for a living when I have no sense of pitch.
Warren Beaty was doing a book signing for his, now supressed, autobiography "Blueberry Pie, Blue Chips, Blue Language" in town and I happened to run into him at a coffee shop called "The Baked Mochato". I had no idea who he was at the time, but he was sitting at my table so I decided to sit with him.
We were the only two people in the place and I could tell that my presence unnerved him. I stared into my coffee for 3 full minutes before looking suddenly up directly into his eyes and said "There's a fine line between madness and genius". Now before I tell you what happened next it is very important that you realise that this was the '70s. Freakouts and weird characters in coffee shops in the middle of the day had been a staple of American life for over a decade so when folks went into a situation like that they knew that anything could happen. Hell, that was the sole purpose of those places back then.
So I'm staring at Warren, expecting him to start stammering and preparing to feel smug, when out of nowhere he wraps his right arm around my head, pulls me towards him and kisses me wetly sqaure on the lips. I thunder backwards into my seat like I've been body checked by a bison and he just calmy folds his newspaper under his arm, stands and and walks straight out.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2008-09-25 04:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm willing to bet that not many of these are true.