My 10 Tiny True Stories (755 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.58 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spuzzum (View user info) at 2008-09-25 15:34:10 EDT
1) One year me and my brothers and some of my friends stole 7 kegs of beer from a restaurant. When my dad found the kegs of beer hidden poorly in his garage we told him that another of my friends was planning a big party and had bought them. He knew we were lying but just shook his head and walked away.
2) Me and 2 friends snuck in a yard of a neighbor one night and stole all their marijuana plants growing in their garden. When we got home around 3 in the morning we tried to smoke some but it was too wet so we tried to bake it in my dad's oven to dry it out a bit. It started to smoke and set off the fire alarm. My dad came bursting out of bed thinking the house was on fire. The whole house reeked of weed but he accepted that we were just cooking some fries which had burned (or just chose to accept it).
3) When I was about 10 the neighborhood bully hit one of my younger brothers in the head with a rock. I went to my house and came back with my pellet gut and started shooting at him. He rode his bike away as fast as he could. A few days later he jumped me and beat the shit out of me. Later I burnt down his tree fort.
4) On day I was driving my 65 Valiant convertible with a bunch of friends. I was driving down a hill when the brakes gave out. I was speeding towards a red light at the bottom of the hill with absolutely no brakes. I was thinking about telling everyone that in the car we were about to die but I decided not to. The light turned green at the last second and I was able to pull to the side of the road after almost having a heart attack.
5) I was bullied a bit in high school as I was a quiet skinny nerdy sort of kid. Since I graduated I started lifting weights and I am now over 200 lbs of muscle. When I get go out and get drunk I still look around for any of the guys who used to bully me so I can start shit and beat them up. I still haven't seen them yet, which is probably for the best.
6) A couple times when I got to work in the city some idiot has taken my parking spot which explicitly says it is reserved parking and for which I pay 100 dollars a month out of my own pocket. I would park my car behind there car and wait for the driver to return. On once occasion a guy in his forties with a suit and briefcase came back to his car and I tore into him. I spat in his face, shoved him around and basically terrified him. He begged me not to beat him and apologized profusely to me. I finally let him go after he was almost in tears. I know that guy won't be parking in a reserved spot again.
7) When my brothers and I were kids we lived on acreage with a large forest in our backyard. We hated people tresspassing in the forest so we built tons of traps as we had seen on movies like Rambo and Predator. The only person I know we got with one of the traps was a friend of mine who came to visit me. He tripped a wire and a log swung down from a tree and knocked him off his bike. He was ok if a bit stunned.
8) Once when drunk while camping I left the campfire to piss. As I was walking I stepped into a hole, snapped my ankle and fell to the ground in agony. All my friends came to help me but I still had to piss so I had to pee my pants in front of everyone while writhing in agony on the ground. Probably the most embarrassing moment of my life.
9) When I was a kid I had a video camera and we use to make home movies. As our favorite movies were Stallone or Swartzenegger movies we made action movies with blood bags and firecrackers. When the firecracker taped to a zip-lock bag filled with red water went off, blood spewed everywhere. We hired neighborhood kids to star in our movies and tape firecrackers to themselves. Some of the kids were as young as 5 years old. My mom got many complaints from mothers around the neighborhood, and finally saw the movies herself and banned us from taping fire crackers to each other and to the neighborhood kids.
Now my mom watches these old blood bag movies with a nostalgic tear in her eye and loves seeing her boys as little kids. Some of the mothers of these kids who banned their kids from being on our movies have requested copies of the movies themselves to see their little boys.
10) I helped rescue a man from certain drowning this summer. You can see the video of the interview of the guy here:
http://www.ctvbc.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20080818/BC_Chilliwack_River_Claims_080818/20080818/?hub=BritishColumbiaHome
The article erroneously states that search and rescue saved him when it was several drunken tubers.
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-09-27 01:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2) Me and 2 friends snuck in a yard of a neighbor one night and stole all their marijuana plants growing in their garden. When we got home around 3 in the morning we tried to smoke some but it was too wet so we tried to bake it in my dad's oven to dry it out a bit. It started to smoke and set off the fire alarm. My dad came bursting out of bed thinking the house was on fire. The whole house reeked of weed but he accepted that we were just cooking some fries which had burned (or just chose to accept it).
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A friend of mine told me a nearly IDENTICAL story. Which makes me wonder if I know you, or if you're both full of crap...
I'm betting on the crap. But it's entertaining crap, so there you go.
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2008-09-27 00:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-27 00:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-09-26 09:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
One of the better entries
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-26 08:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-09-26 05:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was getting a positive rating until you spat in someone's face. Idiot.
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Submitted by Profane (user info) at 2008-09-25 21:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making me laugh. I HATE when some loser parks in my space.
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the 2 sides of Uber.
7 made me lolz
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-09-26 05:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was getting a positive rating until you spat in someone's face. Idiot.
Submitted by Profane (user info) at 2008-09-25 21:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making me laugh. I HATE when some loser parks in my space.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-09-25 19:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-09-25 16:41:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your stories better than mine. Good stuff!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-09-25 16:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-25 16:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey!! Don't hate on me, no1hasdis...yeah, it's corny, but me likes corny jokes!
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Jack hasn't posted in a couple days. I had to hate on someone ;).
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-25 16:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey!! Don't hate on me, no1hasdis...yeah, it's corny, but me likes corny jokes!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-09-25 16:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a good post, til sage came along and shit unfunny all over it :
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Forgot to give you a point for being from BC, or at least Canada. I'll give you one more if you like hockey and tell me your favorite team in the NHL.
Stupid joke:
How do you spell Canada?
C eh N eh D eh...
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!
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STFU
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-25 16:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
as promised
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i think it is more like 200 lbs of sideburns and gut, but the post passed the time.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spuzzum (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Flag. Penalty: unnecessary roughness. Not trying to be overly pacifist, but you could have waited for him to return to his vehicle and politely (but sternly) said that you pay $100/month to park in that spot and told him not to park there again. The spitting in the face and pushing him around and "basically terrif[ying] him" was unnecessary. Come on now. Just 'cause you're "over 200lbs of muscle" doesn't mean YOU have to bully people.
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You're right of course. This was about the fourth time this had happened though and previously I had treated like you suggested, but I had enough and had to make an example out of someone.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Forgot to give you a point for being from BC, or at least Canada. I'll give you one more if you like hockey and tell me your favorite team in the NHL.
Stupid joke:
How do you spell Canada?
C eh N eh D eh...
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
6) A couple times when I got to work in the city some idiot has taken my parking spot which explicitly says it is reserved parking and for which I pay 100 dollars a month out of my own pocket. I would park my car behind there car and wait for the driver to return. On once occasion a guy in his forties with a suit and briefcase came back to his car and I tore into him. I spat in his face, shoved him around and basically terrified him. He begged me not to beat him and apologized profusely to me. I finally let him go after he was almost in tears. I know that guy won't be parking in a reserved spot again.
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Flag. Penalty: unnecessary roughness. Not trying to be overly pacifist, but you could have waited for him to return to his vehicle and politely (but sternly) said that you pay $100/month to park in that spot and told him not to park there again. The spitting in the face and pushing him around and "basically terrif[ying] him" was unnecessary. Come on now. Just 'cause you're "over 200lbs of muscle" doesn't mean YOU have to bully people.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-25 15:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for the picture