10 Tiny True Stories (+ Literary Criticism) (968 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.1 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TooMuchMan (View user info) at 2008-09-26 13:04:36 EDT
Hat tip to http://www.ubersite.com/m/114095.
10 Tiny True Stories is my very favorite bandwagon from Uber. But I think that it's been abused because most Uberers do not understand what made the original so genius.
It's not about saying the most remarkable and outrageous thing you can think of that's happened to you. For example, the following is kinda cool, but not "10 Tiny True Stories" material:
1. I met an Aussie lass in a bar in Airlie Beach (which is in Australia, in case you've never traveled). Very attractive, 19, spending her break year driving around her continent. We drank endless amounts of rum Cokes. After which she brought me back to her minivan and fucked my brains out. I passed out. Then woke up a couple hours later because she was dragging me out of her minivan by my feet and screaming at me. Turns out, after I passed out she went back to the same bar, found some other dude, and brought him back to her minivan to fuck his brains out. I slept the rest of that night in the sand next to her van. The next morning the three of us went out for breakfast.
Neat to read about, and 100% true, but it just doesn't cut it.
The ideal "10 Tiny True Stories" material is three things. It is (1) simple and (2) subtle and (3) revealing. Simple means that it doesn't require a windup, as the above story does. Subtle means that it doesn't hit you over the head with its point: above, the point is "har har I fucked a skank in a minivan in Australia." Revealing means that you know more about the person after you read it than before. What did you learn about from the story above? Nothing.
My very favorite is The Redundancy Dept. of Redundancy's tiny story about eating spider webs. Number 2 is Experima's tiny story about David and the VW Rabbit.
1. I got my first BJ at age 14.
Even though I had sex from time to time starting around age 16, I didn't get another BJ until I was 21.
2. I watched a mob beat a man to death in Mozambique in 1999. The man had stolen a bucket of shrimp from a storefront.
Since then, I have eaten my fair share of shrimp, but I have never returned to Mozambique.
3. I nearly died in 10th grade after my appendix ruptured in biology class and the teacher refused to let me go to the nurse.
My parents thought about suing the school, but did not because the biology teacher was also the head football coach and we were 5-2 at the time.
4. I have never knowingly met anyone who has HIV/AIDS.
5. The last time I listened to the song "The Needle and the Damage Done" was eleven years go.
Right after the song ended, my dad called me up and told me that his brother, my favorite uncle, who was a heroin addict, had died alone in a rundown trailer outside of Las Vegas.
6. My best friend from elementary school only has four and 1/2 fingers on his left hand.
The lesson is, ask the teacher before using a band saw.
The sad part is, everyone in my old high school now has to take home ec.
7. My folks took me to Disney World in 1983 or 1984. While standing in line for Space Mountain, we watched as a family a couple spaces ahead of each other fought. The father hit his son, who couldn't have been more than 10, right across the jaw, close-fisted.
That is the only time I ever saw my dad cry. Neither he nor his brother ever talked about their father.
8. Remember the scene from Animal House where Bluto destroys a guitar? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9JYq-mXprw)
I did that to a guy's stereo in college for playing Belle and Sebastian. I fucking hate that twee pop shit, especially when I've been drinking tequila.
Best 200 bucks I ever spent.
9. I have eaten the following animals: goose, pheasant, quail, buffalo, water buffalo, elk, moose, deer, reindeer, antelope, duiker, springbok, kangaroo, crocodile, snake, boar, bear, rabbit, squirrel, guinea pig, hamster, nutria, cockroach, cricket, rat, bat, cat, dog, monkey, and whale. All were tasty except for whale and cockroach.
I have never eaten a beet or a Brussels sprout.
10. I have always wanted to go to Newfoundland, yet can think of no good reason why this is.
User Reviews
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-09-29 02:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should try Brussel sprouts, they're great.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-27 00:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-09-26 20:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol next time i go to Iraq Ill skip a shower and we can change that if you like
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-09-26 19:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont' have sand in my vag! I realize how that reads now.
middle east...ahem.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2008-09-26 18:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I am in you to long I will get sand from your Vag?
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-09-26 18:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 16:54:09 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like sand in my vag... :(
________________________________________
You were in the ME too long.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 17:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like sand in my vag... :(
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-09-26 16:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Bishop_(musician)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 16:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing to get sand in your vagina about either ;) .... my contribution to this bandwagon was last RATED over 200 days ago so it's a pretty old but long standing bandwagon.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're right, it isn't hard. I was just pointing out, that I never got a link back. Also, in the current case, I didn't know that experima started this bandwagon however many months ago. I started it back up based on a review on another post. That post had nothing to do with this bandwagon either.
No biggy. It was a mistake on my part.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 14:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, I can appreciate wanting to get a shout out when you start a band wagon, but is it really necessary? I started two small bandwagons with "I know why girls don't like me" and "This picture is magical", and the only person to give me a shout out was Oathmeal.
Maybe it's because I'm a noob and neither one of those bandwagons were any good, but I just think it's a little weird. "
incidently.... it's not so much a desire for a shout out as it is just a general couresy nod/acknowladgement to someone with a good idea. it's not all that difficult you know.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-26 14:22:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
god i'm bored.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe it's because I'm a noob and neither one of those bandwagons were any good, but I just think it's a little weird.
actually I thinkit's the body odor. it's a bit off putting.
just sayin.
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I thought you said that you like this musk on me.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:54:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe it's because I'm a noob and neither one of those bandwagons were any good, but I just think it's a little weird.
actually I thinkit's the body odor. it's a bit off putting.
just sayin.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, I can appreciate wanting to get a shout out when you start a band wagon, but is it really necessary? I started two small bandwagons with "I know why girls don't like me" and "This picture is magical", and the only person to give me a shout out was Oathmeal.
Maybe it's because I'm a noob and neither one of those bandwagons were any good, but I just think it's a little weird.
Submitted by John_H_Kim (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:41:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i could have done without the whole critique thingy as really who the fuck are you to be making up arbitrary rules but whatever.
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Would've been two points, except for the fact that I wholeheartedly agree with the above. Really. You didn't even start the bandwagon. I hate it when people get on unnecessary power trips.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge.... i replied to your reasonable criticism of my comment. my reply is on the jim denevan apw.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i could have done without the whole critique thingy as really who the fuck are you to be making up arbitrary rules but whatever.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent job! Enjoyable read.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
at least you can fuck around at work brdn. they have a nanny filter now at my ad agency that marks uber as pornography.
glad they don't know about mirror sites. still can't log in though.
that said, i'm off. write on my wall or something...at least i can respond to those still!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
incidently I did one of these: http://www.ubersite.com/m/114221, and was harrassed for it being so late so it's kind of funny that all these are coming out now. Where's sico the bandwagon policeman when you need him.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, I am bored. I wish I could be at home working on my mosaic instead of fucking about on the internet while sitting in my padded cell at work.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you might find it interesting to read "misadventures" by sylvia smith (i think her name is.) reading her book made me want to write these stories, because her stories were simple, unpretentious, straight reporting on minutiae of her life that made her who she was.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i could have done without the whole critique thingy as really who the fuck are you to be making up arbitrary rules but whatever.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you happen to have the phone number of that Aussie lass handy?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-09-26 13:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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