GrUeBERfest '08 - Needles (501 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.5 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by whiskeyjack (View user info) at 2008-09-26 15:10:11 EDT
You tend to see a lot when you go to work everyday in a pressed blue suit with a polished gold badge. I know thirteen years on the force has sure shown me a lot. But seeing isn't always believing. Your eyes and ears can be tricked. You have to rely on a different set of senses to survive. Gut sense, a sense of years.
It's funny how the farther along you go as a cop the more you forget training and come to rely on gut and that special feeling; those needles pricking your skin, that warning. It's saved me a number of times. Still remember a few years back responding to a robbery in progress at a convenience store. I was two steps from entering the store when I got that feeling, so I hesitated. Good thing too, cause when I did I noticed the shotgun barrel aimed at head height for anyone who walked through that door. Luckily I listened to those needles, and luckily the guy wasn't expecting someone to crouch and shoot up. I was thankful for the warning, but not for seeing a 7/11's ceiling sprayed with blood and brain and a man's right eye popped out to land on the thing the hotdogs rotate on. Still that feeling can't be denied. The needles know the bad.
Still all the years of experience and all the needles and feelings can't prepare you for everything. Not for the sight I got in front of me. Just responded to a call of screaming and commotion coming from some guy's garage and I think I'm looking at eight dead people but I can't be sure. I can't be sure because they're not all there. Not to say there's someone missing its just they aren't all there. It's not a very big room but whoever did this was obviously creative in using the space. I think its eight but before I can try to identify all the pieces nailed to the walls and ceiling and to the pieces of people they don't belong to I lose my stomach. At least I know the blood is fresh, it's still warm as it seeps into my pant legs while I'm on all fours puking like some rookie at his first murder.
Back on my feet I try to make my brain make sense of all this. Looks like someone tore apart a bunch of rag dolls and stapled multiple parts around the room and together, except they were out of rag dolls and all they had were people and nails. Big nails too, look like those big rail road spikes they used to use. I'm trying to keep it together long enough to radio back up, at least tell them how many dead. But looking to just right of the door I see I was right and it was eight. It made it a lot easier to count when all the heads have been nailed in a circle to the wall. I'm about to call over my radio when the head at the top of the circle swivels upside down on the nail that's been hammered through its nose. I'm puking again.
Then I notice something else. The door at the back of garage is opened and I can see a faint light flickering through. I guess with the dim lighting of the blood stained bulb in the garage I didn't see that at first. Gun cocked I'm two steps away when those needles start pricking all over. They've never felt this strong before, and I can tell they're screaming for me to run. Can't just go on feeling though, so I crouch down and slowly sneak up to the door, ready to shoot up or whatever direction this monster might be.
Then I feel something at the back of neck. To big and too hard to be a needle. I can even feel the fresh blood run from that damn big nail to my neck, and a few more drops hit my neck in the second in-between the nail leaving my neck and the grunt that comes with it as it comes back down hard and fast. I should've listened when the needles warned.
User Reviews
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2008-09-28 12:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brian_Johns (user info) at 2008-09-27 22:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-27 08:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-27 00:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gyro_Gearloose (user info) at 2008-09-26 17:48:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2's for all Grueberfest entries posted today, just because.
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hard to read?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what they said. still i enjoyed it well enough.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Enjoyed the beginning; ending seemed rushed.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could be Mr. Pissy and nail you (HAHAHAHA) on the last paragragh, it was kinda wonky, but then again it could be me because I've been fucked up all week.
You have a simple and straightforward voice when you write. No fancy bullshit or clutter. I like it. I like it a lot.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-09-26 15:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ending could be better