10 more true stories (423 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr_McDougal (View user info) at 2008-09-27 11:00:41 EDT
1.) Having kidney stones is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Two years ago, I had one in my left kidney, and presently, I have one in my right kidney. I guess they're taking turns.. but it hurts like hell.
2.) A spinal tap is probably the 2nd worst pain I have ever felt. The bastard must have nicked my sciatic nerve going in, because I felt a sharp pain shoot down my right leg like lightning. Damn that hurt.
3.) I was rear-ended by a drunk asshole driving a GMC Yukon while waiting in the left hand turn lane on a highway. He was going at least 60 mph at the time. I think the only thing that saved my life was that I was driving a 1984 Mercury Grand Marquis. The rear end was completely demolished, my fenders pushed up into my back tires, and my seat actually twisted to where the left shoulder of my seat was farther back than my right by about 4 inches. Even knocked my stereo out of the dash. Point of advice: Make sure you have uninsured motorist coverage. I didn't, and got dicked in the ass because of it.
4.) When I was 14, I almost got T-boned by a car while riding a bike home. My life didn't flash before my eyes, but when I saw the car coming, everything slowed down all at once. For a second, I thought I was going to die. Luckily, the driver slammed on his brakes and only hit me hard enough to knock me over. I still remember the feeling of everything around me slowing down to a standstill, it was one of the craziest feelings I've ever felt.
5.) I have never had a gun pointed at me, but I have had a knife pulled on me. When the knife was pulled, I reacted. I wrestled the knife away and he ran. Probably a stupid decision, but it's what I did. I have no idea how I would react if someone pulled a gun on me, but I'm betting I'd shit myself right then and there. Who knows?
6.) I've won regional tournaments in Taekwondo, and my final match came down to myself and another guy for enough points to win the state title. To this day, I still contest the ref's decision. In taekwondo, if your opponent is out of bounds, but you are in bounds, the person in bounds can still score on the opponent that is out. I was in bounds, connected with a kick, and the ref didn't score the point. 10 seconds later, the match ends, and I ask him why he didn't score my points. He blew me off and said "there wasn't much on it, anyways". That score was what cost me the state title.
7.) When I was 3, I covered the family cat in mustard. In the process, I covered myself and half the kitchen with mustard as well. Mom wasn't so happy about that..
8.) If the marriage I am currently in doesn't work out, I will never ever re-marry.
9.) I don't remember how old I was, but I remember being pissed at one of my brothers about something. He was standing about 30-40 yards away, and I picked up a rock and chucked it at him. The rock hit him square on top of the head, and while he was squealing like a little bitch, I laughed my ass off.
10.) When I was around 16, the same brother was having an argument with my mom, while he was standing at the top of the stairs, and she was standing down at the bottom. He started saying really mean, nasty things, and directly insulting mom and dad as well, and I told him if he didn't clean it up, I was going to throw his ass down the stairs. He kept it up, and I said one more time, "I'm warning you.." He looked at me and said "do it, throw me down the stairs." So I did. Once he reached the bottom, he started whining to my mom about me doing it. All she said was "you told him to do it.." and walked off. My mother became my hero that day.
User Reviews
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-09-27 14:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what happend here?
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2008-09-27 12:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-09-27 11:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you can take a couple days off to shit your brains out, try drinking a gallon or so of olive oil to take care of that kidney stone. Friend of mine swears it works. Softens it up, so you just pee out a spongy thing, which doesn't hurt.
Then you can write a post about all the shitting.
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While shitting, and writing a post about shitting would be great family fun.. I don't know if the olive oil trick would work on this one. The first stone I had was uric acid, this stone is a calcium stone.. I dunno if the olive oil would have the same effect.. I think it's more the lemon juice you mix with the olive oil that helps dissolve it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-27 11:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just ate noodles
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-27 11:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude... #7
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2008-09-27 11:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you can take a couple days off to shit your brains out, try drinking a gallon or so of olive oil to take care of that kidney stone. Friend of mine swears it works. Softens it up, so you just pee out a spongy thing, which doesn't hurt.
Then you can write a post about all the shitting.