tiny truths 2 - 5 (779 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by locksly (View user info) at 2008-09-29 09:56:34 EDT
I've already posted 1, so here goes 2 - 5...
2, Once upon a time I was driving my Mother and Grandmother back from somewhere and some jerk cut me off, it wasn't that he just cut me off, I saw him looking straight at me in the rear view with a shit eating grin on his face. Since I had the ladies in the car all I could do was flash my lights, so dipshit slammed the brakes on, causing me to slam my brakes on and grandmas neck to whiplash. Mom yelled at me and I blushed. All I could think was 'if mom and granny weren't in this car I'd ram that fuck into a pole and beat the piss through him with my skinny little fists'. I think because I couldn't express any rage with granny there it made it ten times worse. I blew the whole incident way out of proportion but its very humiliating being fucked over like that and not being able to respond.
I followed the little shit and his riced out Acura for a few miles until we got close to home. There was a gas station right near there, and a friend of my brothers was selling a chopped SUV from the carpark. This guy was crazy and into the Sopranos way too much (this is when the Sopranos were huge and every Italian prick walked with that swagger). The Acura pulled into to get gas or male porn and I rang my brothers friend:
Me:"Hey Joey, listen man is that your SUV at the gas station on East Dr? did you sell it? Some dudes trying to steal it I think. I missed the turn so I can't go back - " (Joey is probably doing bicep curls and watching goodfellas)
Joey: "He's fucking what? someone is disrespecting my shit?"
Me: "totally man, you better get down here. There is definite disrespecting going on - he is in a white Acura with a stupid wing on the back"
Joey: "Hes fucking dead!"
The minute I hung up the phone I had the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach, afterall Joey was crazy and Karma would not readily forgive this. I justified my actions by thinking that Joey would take 5 minutes to get down there at least and the Acura would be long gone. I dropped mom and grandma at home within about 10 minutes and headed to my brothers place, the butterflies in my stomach flying round and round. I pulled up on the street because the drive was full.
It seemed my one phone call had started a chain reaction involving my brother and the usual neighbourhood semi thugs, the white Acura was in my brothers drive minus the big stupid wing. Turns out Joey and the three friends he had with him had turned up as ricer boy was leaving, ripped him from the car and threw him onto the street. They stole his car but (and this is the only karma-redeeming part of the story) didn't rough him up too much, he was okay enough to run after his car and grab onto the wing which broke off after a few seconds.
To cut a long story short - another unsolved car jacking and no tape in the security camera, I think the gas station employee got leaned on which I don't feel good about. The car got chopped and was sold from the same gas station about a month later with tags on it from a wrecked car from another state.
Either way it pays to be a courteous driver these days.
3, When I was around 3 to 6 yrs old my younger brother and I shared a room, every few months when my brother was sleeping I'd get up and pinch his nose shut. I'd sit there and just pinch for a good minute or two. I would repeat this for a few nights in a row working up the courage to pinch his nose shut for 5 or 10 minutes. After a while my face would burn (I now realise this was me blushing because I knew it was wrong) and I'd run back to bed. I have no idea why I used to do this. I think I must have seen it on TV and not realised the implications. I did not realise I was meant to put my hand over his mouth at the same time either - otherwise this would be a very different story indeed.
4, I started the cargo pants craze in the 90's. I realise this is a massive call to make, but trust me. I found a pair of my dads army fatigues from 'nam one day and started wearing them. I got the shit teased out of me so I didn't wear them very long, but I did wear them before they came back in style and I am 100% positive that some fashion guru saw me in them and said yep, we'll add that to the 'grunge' look. No one has ever thanked me for bringing them back.
5, This one is so fucking hard to write, but here I go. I think I was 15 or 16 and we had to bring in canned food or drinks to school to make hampers and give to poor people - I think it was for christmas or something. My mom gave me a big bottle of lemon pop. This pissed me off because at the time we were quite short of money and that lemon pop should have rightly stayed in my house. I was really thirsty that morning and before I left the house I opened it, took a swig and then took it to school. I felt bad but I still handed it in to my teacher. Later in the day she pulled me from another class and handed the drink back to me. Her look was enough to make me go bright red and start shaking with anxiety because I knew I had crossed a line (this was a catholic school after all) she narrowed her eyes and kind of spat/yelled at me through a tight-lipped mouth "how dare you. You are despicable. This is for people who have nothing. I am thoroughy disgusted with you" then she walked away. This teacher had never said a bad word to anyone as far as I knew and was known to be a light weight in the school.
I felt so fucking bad. I am sure I have done worse things but I feel really bad about that, I drank the pop at lunch though, it was a really cheap brand and was warm and it had lost the fizz.
I still wonder if she told anyone, you know - maybe sitting around some dinner party with other teachers, swapping stories about high school stabbings and teachers being assaulted and then she tells them about me and jaws just drop: "well that totally takes the cake" they'd all agree, nodding their heads and such.
User Reviews
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-30 19:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-09-30 10:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Attending a Catholic school usually causes problems later on down the road...
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Like feeling guilty about no.5?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-09-30 10:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOCKSLY!
troof.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-09-30 10:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Attending a Catholic school usually causes problems later on down the road...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-09-30 09:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-30 07:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought you knew
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2008-09-30 07:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck which one is true?
Did you used to pinch my nose you cuntfaced guy?
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-09-29 22:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heeeeeeey...
These are not tiny.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-09-29 13:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by weather (user info) at 2008-09-29 13:29:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The weather is in your favor.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2008-09-29 12:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-09-29 12:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-29 11:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-09-29 11:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well what do these do then!!
+2!!
___________
woolfe still hurt locksly emo feelings :(
woolfe not nice. he no post. he only -2
One day locksly will rise above it and not care...
until that day woolfe wins :(
he knows how much plus 2 means to locksly, deep down inside.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:54:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well what do these do then!!
+2!!
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
__________
:( minus 2's make locksly cries.
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by stucker (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:43:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge is a fat pussy
Locksly for prez
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:20:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha, fucking locksly
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
pretty good
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 made me laugh out loud. That's fuckin' funny.
Don't beat yourself up too badly for #5. You were a dumb kid.
_______----
I realise its irrational and illogical but it plays on my mind, even worse than the family of ducks I ran over whilst driving a dead hookers body into the woods to dismember after she laughed at my micro penis.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-09-29 10:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 made me laugh out loud. That's fuckin' funny.
Don't beat yourself up too badly for #5. You were a dumb kid.