Papa Stan (400 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Zoobie2000 (View user info) at 2008-10-02 09:14:11 EDT
Papa Stan lives in the Czech mountains with his family. Up high in
the Giant Mountains to be exact, in a tiny place called Stanivice.
He lives with his wife Mama Pati, his daughter Lenyi and her husband
Josef. Lenyi and Josef have a small baby named Beka, after Papa Stan's
long departed mother. Papa Stan has a large bushy Stalin moustache,
although he would not like that comparison. He owns a motorcycle repair
shop and knows everyone in the village.
Papa Stan drinks Svijany beer in the village pub almost every evening,
and enjoys deep-fried camembert with tartare sauce. His hands are the
size of mallets, he can crack a brazil nut with his thumbs. I could
talk forever about the particular traits that set Papa Stan aside from
his fellow man, but I would like to recount a simple tale to you.
Let's say that it is a gloriously blue summer's day, and that Papa
Stan is sitting on a chair in the middle of the lawn. In front of
him is a pile of fresh-picked corn. His friend, the bald man next
door, had too much for his own needs so invited Papa Stan over to
pick what he wanted. Papa Stan returned with an armful of fresh
yellow and green corn, and now he is sitting on his chair cleaning
the corn with his large knife. Beka is at his feet, playing with
her dummy. He grudgingly agreed to mind Beka while the rest of
them drove to the town to buy some beer and to look at the new
clothes shop. You see, he doesn't want anyone to know how softly
he feels about baby Beka, but they all know anyway.
Not many thoughts go through Papa Stan's round head, the pile of
husks grows silently larger, interrupted by the occasional sound of
Beka's baby talk. She falls asleep and he rolls her in a blanket,
placing her into the pram. Shortly after, Mama Pati arrives home
laden with bags of clothes and a crate of beers, Lenyi and Josef
are nowhere to be seen.
"Papa Stan come here quickly and open this door" she commands.
"Of course my baby love-squirrel" he replies sarcastically,
standing up and slowly walking to the back door to let her into the
house. Beka awakes and starts wailing at this commotion, she had
been dreaming that she was big enough to husk corn with a knife,
and wasn't pleased to be woken.
"Give her the dummy Papa Stan!" shouts Mama Pati "That will quieten
her down, she is worrying the rabbits!"
Poor Papa Stan can't find the dummy anywhere, and he knows the fuss
if it has been lost. It cost only a handful of Koruna, and they
have spare in the house, but once Mama Pati bites onto something
she doesn't let go. He searches all over the lawn where Beka was
playing, but no luck. Mama Pati is really getting started now, and
he doesn't have the energy to argue back. Poor dishevelled old
Papa Stan, he used to be a biker in the '60s and wear an American
flag on his leather jacket. The communists didn't like him for
that, but he was a rebel. Now here he is on his hands and feet
searching for a dummy in the grass, while a terrifying woman
screams in his ear.
Mama Pati finds the dummy, after Papa Stan gave up and went to sit
in the garage to smoke a cigar and listen to Led Zeppelin. It is
in the pile of husks together with a cigar cap and three bottle tops.
User Reviews
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2008-10-06 19:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit! I'm not reading all that, so I'll just give you a -2 because my attention span is way too short. This might be equal to the writings of Shakespeer, but I'll never know coz I don't feel like reading that much.
Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2008-10-04 02:08:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-10-02 15:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is to encourage you to vote Astley.
http://ema.mtv.co.uk/vote/#__best_act_ever
Now do it.
Submitted by write-of-way (user info) at 2008-10-02 15:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First round voting ends Friday at midnight!
Give them a read even if they won by forfeit, there's some really good stuff.
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JoeyG: Heartstarter http://www.ubersite.com/m/119012
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Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-02 12:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-10-02 17:04:02 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-02 10:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Papa Shango
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Mouldy Mango
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Tickly Tango
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-10-02 12:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-02 10:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Papa Shango
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Mouldy Mango
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-02 10:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Papa Shango
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-10-02 10:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm about to Papa Boner.
Didn't get it?
Neither did I!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-10-02 10:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't quite get this, and the formatting was horrible, but here's an "eh" for effort.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-10-02 09:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is like trying to read braille
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-02 09:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2