Internet Nuts... online meetings from around the globe (550 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by simplemindedhafwit (View user info) at 2008-10-03 12:20:13 EDT
unsureofhimself
meets
darkdominatrick
I was looking at your picture. I hope you don't
mind!? It's a very nice picture! Your hair color reminds me of
my mother's hair. I used to wash and brush it for her.
She is gone now, bless her soul.
-Remove your eyes from my picture and never look at it
again. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY! Bend over to the floor.
DO IT NOW!
Find the cord that comes from your computer and remove it
from the outlet it is plugged into.
AT ONCE YOU DOG! NEVER plug it back in. You
sicken me you worthless piece of crap!
(He did find the courage to plug it back in and they lived
happily ever after.)
~*~
sacrificiallamb
meets
satansoul
Hi Lammie I was just reading your profile and looking at
your pic. You are cute and funny!! You
look like an angel in your sheer white dress. I like
what you said about "true love" I
believe in true EVER LASTING love! The kind of love
that lives on long after our life here.
- Coming from someone named Satan Soul I kind of doubt that!
No no it's not Satan, it's satin. Oh silly me :-)
I misspelled my name. :-) I'm new at all this internet
dating stuff. Maybe you could help me be better?
- so it's not "Satan?"
No it's satin
-well okay then where do you want to meet?
~*~
outgoinggoddess
meets
comfortablynumb
Him- I just found a shiny new gem clip under
my 4337 XL keyboard!!!
Her- I have a prob with my puter...... :-( bbl
Him- NO WAIT! I can help you.....
~*~
swingnsamnsally
meets
cutencuddlycouple
YUCK! Who cares! I hope they all get herpes!
~*~
Guadalahottie
meets
mericanmade
A match made in Heaven! Neither can understand
a word the other says. But they got married,
have 7 children and live in a nice home in
Milwaukee.
~*~
sportslovnman
meets
divorcedAGAIN
Hi I'm Bob
- NO NO NO NO NO NO! go away BOB!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-10-04 19:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
swing and a miss
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-10-04 11:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pegging this as a bubba alter.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-10-04 09:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2008-10-04 02:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by write-of-way (user info) at 2008-10-03 19:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grueberfest first round voting ends tonight at midnight!
Give them a read. There's some really good stuff.
icarus1987: Gargoyle http://www.ubersite.com/m/118950
vs
Impassive-Digressive: The Gargoyle http://www.ubersite.com/m/118922
stardamage: Floorboards http://www.ubersite.com/m/118960
vs
Ahumblefool: Floorboards http://www.ubersite.com/m/118981
Fungah: Like Unto Stone http://www.ubersite.com/m/119028
vs
JoeyG: Heartstarter http://www.ubersite.com/m/119012
inion_de_trua: the blizzard http://www.ubersite.com/m/119033
vs
Jack_McCallum: The Blizzard http://www.ubersite.com/m/118987
Hornet: The Nest http://www.ubersite.com/m/118982
vs
Gonefiguring: The Nest http://www.ubersite.com/m/119029
Brian_Johns: The Unspoken http://www.ubersite.com/m/118961
Brdn_Nkd: Under Glass http://www.ubersite.com/m/118973
Squirrelly_Girl: Who Killed the Chokomut Loving Zombie and Why? http://www.ubersite.com/m/118945
Snark: Brick by Brick http://www.ubersite.com/m/119032
Whiskeyjack: Needles http://www.ubersite.com/m/118983
Desz: Duel http://www.ubersite.com/m/118989
Sandmantate: Burning Eyes http://www.ubersite.com/m/118997
NintendoCzar: Made to be Broken http://www.ubersite.com/m/119021
Frankthebear: Pearls Of Wisdom http://www.ubersite.com/m/118941
Submitted by simplemindedhafwit (user info) at 2008-10-03 15:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-10-03 14:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf?
scw = "spontaneous creative writing." Something I can't seem to find much of on this site. I see a lot of writings in the same ol style that has been used since dial tone was invented. But that's about it so far. Is there a "special" page for good creative writing that I'm possibly overlooking here? If so please let me know where it is.
From what I can tell everything in this upside down world has become politically correct. Even creative writing. I guess I could blame Microsoft for making it all so perfect, pretty and pathetic. But I don't. Nope I blame Bush. As in Gee Dubya. I used to blame Al Gore until I realised he's just a hog humpin hillbilly. I guess I'll be blaming Obama soon. McCain? Nah, I saw an interview with him and the subject of creative writing came up. When asked about the subject his reply was "well I guess if I could get creative with righting this world, I would suggest that we abolish all media and go back to playing hop scotch and pick up sticks in our spare time. Hop scotch! Oh how I loved playing hop scotch! Especially when the girls in dresses had to make the split move between 3 and 5 and 7 and 10. Now that was righteous!" wtf?..........wtf indeed
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-10-03 15:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-10-03 14:34:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf?
Submitted by simplemindedhafwit (user info) at 2008-10-03 14:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is a true story / poem / screw up. Top it if you can.
I was standing in line at the grocery store
with diapers and milk to the hilt.
When as always is, the register girls'
register went into tilt.
I took a deep breath, mustered a smile
and most likely tugged at my ear.
Cause that's what I do when things that I don't
like suddenly just appear.
I tried to look cool, clearing my throat
I said to the girl just behind,
"I don't understand why this happens to me?
I'm certain I've been undermined."
This snip of a girl with Barbie doll frame
giggled and magazine shopped.
That's when I noticed her belly was bloated
as big as a pig's freshly slopped.
I was a new Dad with child of my own,
a baby all brand spanking new.
Time was on hold so I asked big and bold,
"DO TELL ME MA'AM WHEN ARE YOU DUE?"
Just as those words fell out of my mouth
I knew once again I'd done "it."
Cause as I expected what came around next
was "I'M NOT WITH CHILD YOU DUMB SHIT!"
You couldn't have drove a finishing nail
through the thickness that tightened my face.
A down feather falls with a mightier sound
than the silence that silenced that space.
I just turned around. What else could I do?
Words were all meaningless now.
I might be a fool but I'd never twice put
my neck 'for a mule and a plow.
So take it from me, a fella who's done
a whole lot of tugging his ear.
When you're standing in line at the grocery store
remember these words and adhere.
"JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND YOUR EYES FORWARD!"
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-10-03 13:36:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-03 12:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A stupid woman that I work with just tip-exed my name onto my coffee mug when I wasn't looking and it won't come off. I've never been so angry.
-----
I filled a coworker's favorite coffee cup, this plain white mug with some stupid scribbled pattern on it around the handle, with wet concrete once on a Saturday morning. I put a couple pencils in it, just for fun. Once it set up for a couple hours, I covered the concrete with coffee and left it for him to find on Monday. Monday he did find it, and then he told me that the cup was made from the first crayon drawing his daughter ever did, that the concrete wouldn't come out, and that I was a monumental asshole. Truths all.
Submitted by simplemindedhafwit (user info) at 2008-10-03 12:26:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PIFFLE? oh that's nonsense.
TRIPE would be better served here........................... with mashed potatoes and giblet gravy.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-03 12:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A stupid woman that I work with just tip-exed my name onto my coffee mug when I wasn't looking and it won't come off. I've never been so angry.
I'm so angry in fact that I couldn't even read this piffle.