Love and Chickens (659 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.33 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by narglesprout (View user info) at 2008-10-09 18:20:48 EDT
I am a chicken, oh yes I am. Why? Well, its complicated.
I met my girl a few months ago. I flew out to California to visit a friend of mine from college. He's moved on and moved up, and has a whole new cache of friends to hang out with. Honestly I was dreading the visit because if there's one thing I've never learned how to deal with, its your friend's friends.
Sure it seems like a good idea, you meet my friends and I meet your friends, and then we can all be friends. Its a pretty picture that doesn't pan out in the real world. The reasons why are varied, but what it really comes down to is that you can't be everything to everyone. In one group you're the funny guy, in the next group you're the historian. You keep branching out and eventually you're everything from the brute force to the tender philosopher. Meshing groups means people have to extend themselves and take on new roles. My friend Tim for example was always my go-to drinking buddy, barhopping all the way to Easton. In his new group he's the College Graduate With A Good Paying Job. And where does that leave me? I'm the asshole from the old days on the East Coast, the "back east" friend.
Anyway. I'm glad I went because I had a really excellent time. Tim's California friends were actually a decent group of people, and for some strange reason, they found me charming. Quaint maybe. Among his new pals was a girl who just flat out stole my heart. After day three of my two and a half week visit to the west, I was sleeping in her bed instead of his couch.
Tim was kind of pissed at first, for reasons you can imagine. I was supposed to be his old buddy coming to town for a visit and wound up being the main squeeze of his pretty friend. It wasn't that he wanted to put moves on her, its just that he didn't want me to. I guess that was meshing the old world and the new world just a little too much. He calmed down when I explained how I felt about her. I really did fall for her, and she's perfect for me, she's funny, smart and damn good looking. We had a few beers and he forgave all, but then he brought up that topic I didn't want to think about...
"Sam, what happens when you go home?"
Well hell, I don't know. Is it too much to expect that she might come with me? Well, yeah actually it is.
That was earlier this year. She and I have been talking just about every other night since, except for weekends when she goes and does her thing. I don't mind that she takes her weekends, you have to if you want to stay sane. I'm just happy for the time I have with her. But then, its not enough. Typing words on the keyboard just doesn't do it. Even hearing her voice isn't enough. I need to hold her, to touch her. I need to smell her blond (natural!) hair and even though it might sound creepy, I love the way she smells.
She came to visit me a month ago. It was good. It felt totally right in every way. She even got along with my roommate who can be a total jerk, they had beers together while watching Tokyo Drift and laughing their asses off at the ugly cars and worse acting. She fits into my life perfectly. She's absolutely perfect for me.
So why can't I tell her that I love her? Why can't I just write it, say it, mail it to her?
The truth is, I'm afraid. If I tell her that I love her and want her to be around always, she might think we're moving too fast and get cold feet. If I tell her that she's the only one I want, that no other girl could compare (and definitely not the chicks on the magazine cover whose personalities are as thin as the pages) will she freak out? I think she really digs me, but how can you tell without actually asking? Without actually opening up your heart, and letting her see all of its parts? You can't.
And then, what if she DOES love me? Can I ask her to give up her, admittedly crappy, job? To walk away from all of her friends? Could I really ask her to completely uproot herself for some east coast slob? No no, I can't.
But then I'm afraid of losing all of my friends. And how would I even find work in California, where would I start?
You know what I want, I want to tell her "quit your job and just live here. I'll take care of the bills, and you can stay at home and work on your art (she's an artist in her spare time. I know, I know, but her stuff is actually GOOD) and I'll just make it work." But I think she'd turn me down because she likes to take care of herself. In fact, the fact that she likes to take care of herself is one of the things that drew me to her. She really is smart and independant. Really, thinking about it, she's out of my league.
But then, she does call me almost every night, just to talk. And she laughs at my lame jokes. She even likes my wirey hair (she says its like a comic book character) and doesn't mind that I'm more freckles than skin. She's just RIGHT.
Oh, what's a guy to do? Maybe I'll just ask Tim if I can come out for another visit.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-13 20:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm fucking her now so why don't you just move along, you sorry-ass piece of shit.
Submitted by nargles (user info) at 2008-10-11 21:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah I kind of blew this one. I'll do better next time.
and yes, Easton MD. But I don't actually work on a farm. My grandparents ran a farm for a long time, but it was mostly produce. I promise I will use Word next time I post.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2008-10-10 14:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This started off very well, but towards the end turned into nothing more than a list of questions/worries that all men struggle with just about any relationship, anywhere, ever.
I really liked the whole "friends meeting friends" thing because that's something I've struggled with for almost all my life. But then you had to go hopeless romantic on us with blog-esque handle, which now has me thinking you're nothing but an alter.
But if you're not an alter, this was a mediocre first post that was lacking in humor (essential for a high rating from me), but the decent amount of content and good opening salvaged you a neutral rating.
As for advice...don't even think about the L word unless you're going out. And if you are, best not say shit until you're sure she feels the same way.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2008-10-10 14:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
auto fagging -2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-10-10 09:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
she died chasing eggs around jersey
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-10-10 08:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, this was pretty blogorific. Fuck it.
If you like this chick, then go for it. You cares, dude? You only fucking live once. Grab your balls and state your case, but remember; don't insult her by telling her she can 'just stay home' if this girl is independent, there's a reason, and you should respect that.
Just tell her that you would like to see her more often, and you were entertaining a move to Cali (even if you really aren't) and ask her how she would feel about that. The worst she could say is 'no'.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-10-10 07:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
OK, so I didn't read it all - boring shit right here, but what you want to do is...
1) Don't say the L word too soon - you're right she'll run a mile. Be patient.
2) When you're certain she feels the same tell her you're "fond of her" make a joke out of it, softens the blow, she'll get what you mean but it won't sound as scary. (unless she's retarded)
3) Infect her with AIDS - she'll be yours forever.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-10-10 05:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If she takes care of herself so well she probably won't be too impressed if you come back to visit Tim. (to me that would feel like you were bumming on your friends couch)
If you tell her directly you want to come out specifically to chill with her she will either say yay or nay, perhaps thats a good litmus test for seeing where she thinks the relationship is at... or meet halfway since you have both been to see eachother...
Truth be told I was expecting this to be a story about fucking a chicken
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2008-10-10 02:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I kept waiting for the part where you fucked a chicken. -2 for omitting it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-10 00:45:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Let's face it, Sam, she is probably out all weekend banging toned, ripped beach dudes, also with blond (natural!) hair.
Learn to let go of what appears to be a pity fuck, and a favour for a friend.
Oh, and welcome lol.
Submitted by Franger (user info) at 2008-10-09 22:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So many responses come to mind:
Your a tool for thinking you're in love with someone after knowing them for less than 2 weeks;
No one cares;
Who's alter is this;
You're a virgin;
Or the classic "-2 Die";
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-10-09 22:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good luck to you
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-10-09 22:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, reading this gives me a sort of hope! People are so hateful in the world and its good to read that not everyone is this horrible, cold, heartless, icy asshole. Even if this is an alter of sorts (old habits, i.e. trust issues!! die hard)...I liked this story.
Honestly I say go for it. Seriously.
POINTS!!
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-10-09 19:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoa, whoa... hold the phone... did you say "Easton," as in Easton MD?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
And the chickens! Oh god, I just put it together. And to think I was going to flame you a little for the grammar/spelling and general waywardness of this post; on second thought you write VERY WELL for a farmboy.
Here's the thing; I can sympathize with your plight as I'm in the same boat. Well, not really the same boat, but a similar one. Actually, your boat and my boat will likely never see the same body of water BUT STILL, I feel for you. I can't give you any advice except this:
The next time you come here to post, run your entry through ANY text editor. Word, OpenOffice, whatever; go nuts. Or at least have a friend proofread for you. If you can't communicate your point well, nobody will listen to a damn thing you have to say.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-10-09 19:17:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What part of the "east coast" are you from? Because odds are, if she's a natural blond California dreamboat, she's definitely out of your league.
Probably off your planet, too.
Submitted by nargles (user info) at 2008-10-09 18:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oops. probably should have edited, sorry.
Submitted by DTII (user info) at 2008-10-09 18:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Aaaaaaaaand...FAIL!
Submitted by nargles (user info) at 2008-10-09 18:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
everybody's a noob sometime
Submitted by stucker (user info) at 2008-10-09 18:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck off, noob.