I'm Dying (1082 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Gib (View user info) at 2008-10-14 05:28:32 EDT
Yeah, I'm going to die. No shenanigans.
I found out last Saturday.
I'm not going to get into the specifics of what's wrong because... well I just don't want to think about it right now.
And before you even say it Koolmang, I don't have AIDS.
I can't help but think about this post: http://www.ubersite.com/m/39624
What if an Uber user died?
It seems weird now. When I think back to my reaction to it I wonder if I would have thought the same thing about that post had I known then what I know now.
I've got less than a year apparently. They say it could be as little as a month. Or maybe 6 months. Or 6 weeks. Or 878.5 hours. Or whatever. Don't you just love doctors?
I wonder if I'll be missed here on Ubersite. If people are gonna look back and say "Hey, whatever happened to that guy who was always drawing weird shit in MsPaint? No, not Habeeb, the other one. Oh, he's dead? That blows... So who wants to get drunk?"
It's funny that I'll be remembered for something that took only five hours of my entire life to make. Of all the insignificant things I've ever done that's the thing that will be imprinted in the minds of a bunch of people that I'll never meet. That's just fucking hilarious. There won't be any great monument to my heroic deeds but I can rest easy knowing that I got 20,000 people to look at a bunch of random crap done in MsPaint. Life is just fucking ridiculous sometimes. I love it.
At least I have a pretty healthy outlook on death. It's never been a big deal to me. If I go to Heaven. If I go to Hell. If I become "one with God". If nothing happens at all. Whatever happens will happen, you know?
If there is some sort of God or whatever, feel free to leave me any questions you've got for him, and I'll use all my ghostly powers to get back to you with the answer.
If I disappear from Uber for over a month, it's safe to assume that I'm not coming back. In the meantime I'll continue to post as normal. I feel like I'm a living version of "On the Beach" (I think that's it) where the people are just trying to go about their lives but know that they're completed fucked. Yeah, something like that anyway, I can't really remember.
To all those who give a fuck, I have a small request of you:
1: Drink a shot of vodka for me.
2: Graffiti the head of my Smoking Cat somewhere ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/38520 ). I'm having a good number of the people I know do it. Just imagine that. A rash of graffiti spreading throughout the world. Police are afraid it's a new cult. Panic ensues. That would probably be the most badass memorial ever.
I'll have my brother throw up a post to let you know that I'm dead or something. Yes, I'm aware of how heartless and bizarre that sounds. I'm just a bizarre person, it stems from my many mental disorders (bipolar, schizophrenia, DID, ADD, OCD, and all that other crap).
Sorry that this was such a rambling mess of a post, but put yourself in my situation for a moment.
And just because I've never said it before:
Thanks Uber, you gullible guys rule.
--Dan
FAO Jack McCallum - No cats were harmed during the making of this post.
User Reviews
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-10-15 15:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Only once the drugs are done
I feel like dying
I feel like dying
Only once the drugs are done
I feel like dying
I feel like dying
I can mingle with the stars & throw a party on Mars
I am a prisoner locked up behind Xanax bars
I have just boarded a plane without a pilot
And violets are blue,
Roses are red
Daisies are yellow,
The flowers are dead
Wish I can give you this feeling that I feel like buying
And if my dealer don't have no more, then I feel like dying
One of my favorite Wayne verses/songs evar...thanks for reminding me, and points.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-15 14:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is this is a joke?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2008-10-15 02:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How ammusing!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2008-10-15 00:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-10-14 20:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-14 09:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
iddqd below
___
Ow! Fucking ouch!
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hey, fuck you
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-10-14 20:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-14 09:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
iddqd below
___
Ow! Fucking ouch!
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-10-14 17:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I miss insanethemind.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-10-14 13:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-10-14 08:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think your priorities are pretty fucked if when you find out that you're dying you think 'hmmm wonder how uber will take this'
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Why not?
Its likely the largest group of people he will ever get a chance to tell - why not get our collective feedback?
Good luck with the whole early death thing - if it is pancreatic cancer you have a pretty shitty battle ahead of you. Try and stay positive, surround yourself with love.
AND - you should make a Bucket list - solicit some ideas from the nerds around here or just come up with your own and then head out there and accomplish what you can before you deteriorate.
Post your progress on Uber. That would be morbidly awesome.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-14 12:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I order you not to die.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-10-14 12:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
utter gibberish
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-10-14 12:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll always <3 you jeaneeeeeeeeeeeeee. well, until the pancreatic cancer kills me.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BubbaEarl, how come you don't love me anymore? Is it because I broke into your hotel room in Vegas and stole a bunch of your sports memorabilia? Because I already apologized for that.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BubbaE is black.
Bubba is very white.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-10-14 09:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is "BubbaEarl" the same as the "Bubba" that everyone complains about for being dumb as fuck?
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no.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, so if you see God, could you ask him if I can be the one who decides who lives and who dies? He's not answering my letters anymore. :(
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Was the position open? How come I didn't know about this? Is it because I'm white? It's because I'm white, isn't it? You racist bastards!
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, so if you see God, could you ask him if I can be the one who decides who lives and who dies? He's not answering my letters anymore. :(
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Was the position open? How come I didn't know about this? Is it because I'm white? It's because I'm white, isn't it. You racist bastards!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-10-14 16:10:39 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
no +2 'cause it doesn't kick ass.
no +1 'cause it doesn't make me smile.
just 0, for it is good to be informed.
Take care, man.Make the best of your time.
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you are such a sweetheart.
it warms my cockles.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK, so if you see God, could you ask him if I can be the one who decides who lives and who dies? He's not answering my letters anymore. :(
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-10-14 11:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no +2 'cause it doesn't kick ass.
no +1 'cause it doesn't make me smile.
just 0, for it is good to be informed.
Take care, man.Make the best of your time.
Submitted by EJ (user info) at 2008-10-14 10:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This repost is made of cancer and AIDS.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-14 09:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
iddqd below
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-10-14 09:38:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is "BubbaEarl" the same as the "Bubba" that everyone complains about for being dumb as fuck?
What does it matter, they're both fucking retards.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-10-14 09:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why...
Why this post was nothing short of a bunch of gibberish
Maybe it would be more clear in an MSPaint format.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-10-14 08:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alrighty. Onward and upward....
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-10-14 08:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think your priorities are pretty fucked if when you find out that you're dying you think 'hmmm wonder how uber will take this'
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-14 08:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH KOOLMANG HE DOESN'T HAVE AIDS OK
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-10-14 08:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-10-14 06:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'You gullible guys rule', eh?
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-10-14 07:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nostalgia, mostly.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-10-14 07:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
why the reposts?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-14 07:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Saturday is a shite day to learn you are dying, I think monday is much more appropriate - you are already glum and you have five entire days to get over it in preparation for the weekend!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-14 07:05:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-10-14 06:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Got it. lawl.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-10-14 06:43:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haah n00bs below
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-10-14 06:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
'You gullible guys rule', eh?
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-10-14 05:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I seriously don't get this.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2008-10-14 05:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pancreatic cancer perchance?