Coming of Age. (Long and somewhat wishy-washy... You've been warned) (567 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.18 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tech-junkie (View user info) at 2008-10-21 01:19:37 EDT
When I first came to Uber, it was late 2003. The first post I submitted was reminiscing about the 90's. Squattail was the first person to review one of my posts; not a good start to my Uber career! Most of my subsequent posts over the next year were political in nature, defending Bush and flaming people that disagreed with me.
It took getting flamed back and almost managing to get a negative average rating to realize that it's damn near impossible to change anyone's political views. After that, my posts were either stories about humorous annoyances in my life or a geopolitical analysis of something (North Korea is one that sticks out).
After early 2005, my posts tapered off to the occasional dedication post or a copy/paste of a MySpace chain letter (Which I discovered aren't very well received).
I look back on the 2003-2005 era of Ubersite with fond memories. I remember gibberish pretending that he was about to die. I remember squattail getting banned, and then reviving himself as professorfuckface. I remember Fat Tony's racist rants. I remember Carol Richards. I remember immy girl pretending he/she was a sixth grade black girl. I remember re 16/y olds. I remember Shlongy cheating on WiKi, and then posting half-naked pictures of her online (Most Heated for almost a month).
Why do I bring this up? Well, I'm afraid that I can't answer that. It seems like so much has changed in the past five years and I have no idea what to make of it. The five years that I have been an active to semi-active member of Uber has brought the most transition in my life.
In 2003, I was a computer salesman at Circuit City, living at home with my parents. The sole purpose of my paycheck was for fun: going out to movies, beer money, restaurants, parties. I had a girlfriend, and when we had sex, I could go four, five, six times in one night. My best friend was a gay guy that I grew up with, who had a female friend that I found very enticing. We fooled around a few times, but never fucked. I might have been young and dumb, but I still had a conscience. In any case, the start of my Uber-career was concurrent with a very carefree, enjoyable time in my life.
The next five years were like a constant state of transition.
2004 was not unlike 2003. I got fired from Circuit City, and went to work at a cyber-cafe. I remember closing shop at 9pm and then playing Counter-Strike and DoD with a bunch of regular customers until 4am. I broke up with my girlfriend and started seeing a chick that was a senior in high school, then broke up with her just to go back to girlfriend #1.
2005 saw me leave the cyber-cafe to work at the customer service center for PGB. I think this might be where my life took a hairpin turn from carefree to grudingly responsible. I quickly excelled at my job here, and then I made a rather rash decision: I joined the Army National Guard. November 2005, I shipped for Army boot camp, but not before marrying my girlfriend a week prior.
2006, life was primarily centered around the Army. I picked a high-tech career that required six months of school, and this was on top of the two months of boot camp. I left the professionalism of my job at PGB to join a bunch of hoodlums in the Army (Obviously not all people in the Army are hoodlums, but it seemed like there are plenty to go around). I remember my first day of boot camp. All the black guys banded together and started getting loud and obnoxious. At our evening formation, one of those idiots gave our female battalion commander a dirty look, in which we were all made to do push-ups for next several hours. It was a rough eight months. I left for boot camp November 2005, and did not see home again until August 2006. After August, I returned to PGB with my one weekend a month and two weeks a year National Guard job.
2007, things really started getting serious. At PGB, I got promoted to project manager, making a very respectable salary, but working some ungodly hours. In the National Guard, we got our warning order that a pending Iraq deployment was coming, date TBD. To top it all off, my wife got pregnant. Instead of BSing with my boss about what name should be given to the combination of fecal matter and lube (as I did at Circuit City.. We called it "santorum"), I'm discussing how we should adjust the process of onboarding new PGB customers to ensure they know how to use our call center to place orders. I'm learning that buzz words like "paradigm shift" and "reinventing the wheel" make you sound more professional.
2008, my son was born on April 15th. He's the best baby in the world, and I love him more than anyone could love someone. My wife and I have a happy marriage, turning 3 years old on November 5th. I'm leaving for Iraq in March 2009. In eight months, I will be 27 years old, i.e. in my late twenties.
Long story short, the past five years have been like a whirlwind. Five short years ago, I was a kid, coasting in first gear, not a care in the world. Now, I'm responsible for someone else's life and providing for a family, staring down a year-long Iraq deployment.
Again, I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe I just need to vent to some people that don't give a shit either way. Everyone grows up and has responsibility, maybe my transition was bit precipitous, but inevitable nonetheless. I just need to come to grips with this.
Thanks for your time.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-10-23 17:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2008-10-21 21:35:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2008-10-21 18:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe is right.. it was shitfuck.. i miss him still!!
JD was insane.. but those were good times & fond memories.
Let's not forget my obsession with Sideburns & his with me, Kristen, Phoenix, etc!!
Crazy.
+2 for reminding me that I need to email JD.
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Thanks WiKi and Circe. Memory's a bit foggy, and it didn't help that I was writing this at 1 in the morning.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-10-21 19:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for writing this.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2008-10-21 18:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe is right.. it was shitfuck.. i miss him still!!
JD was insane.. but those were good times & fond memories.
Let's not forget my obsession with Sideburns & his with me, Kristen, Phoenix, etc!!
Crazy.
+2 for reminding me that I need to email JD.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-10-21 16:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"a bunch of hoodlums in the Army"
But in all fairness, if you're getting sent off to Hateamericastan, would you really want to be surrounded by a bunch of choir boys?
Submitted by stucker (user info) at 2008-10-21 10:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rob Berg is a piece of shit.
You on the other hand are not.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2008-10-21 09:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-10-21 04:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(as I did at Circuit City.. We called it "santorum")
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Other people read Dan Savage too. You didn't come up with that.
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Actually, that was my boss' "idea". Five years after the fact, I just found out he stole that idea. Fucking cocksucker.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2008-10-21 08:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Carol Richards was an awesome alter.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2008-10-21 07:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck with everything.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-10-21 04:51:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry.. also, it was Shitfuck who "cheated on Wiki".... which was awesomely shenani-tastic.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57159
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2008-10-21 04:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(as I did at Circuit City.. We called it "santorum")
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Other people read Dan Savage too. You didn't come up with that.
Submitted by Beerpoo (user info) at 2008-10-21 03:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope I never have to grow up. Sounds lame.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-10-21 02:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for defending Bush.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-10-21 01:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for good times past