grueberfest 08 - Last call (383 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.83 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Desz (View user info) at 2008-10-21 03:04:29 EDT
"How far is it" Edward asked the little Asian man that was leading them trough alleys.
"Soon" is the only reply he got.
They turned 3 more corners and then the little man suddenly stopped. Looking around a little unnerved he signed for Edward to come closer.
"It is alound the colnel, the big led steel dool. You knock twice and tell them you wele send by Chu He. You will find all the pleasule you want in thele."
Edward looked at the man questionable, was he going to get robbed or maybe even worse when he would turn that corner? His curiosity was great for this city, he wants to know every little thing his curiosity was urging him to go and try. He carried a knife with him, just a small one just as big as his hand. He recons it will give him enough protection or at least will give him enough time to escape. Giving one last look at the man and the alley that lay behind him he turned the corner, just hearing some last advice the Asian was giving him.
"Beware of the barman's last call!"
Beware of the barman's last call? Edward was thinking what this could mean. Knocking on the door he realized the Asians last words were without an accent. Before he could look back the big door opened a little. There was a big shadow behind the door and dace music could be heard. Some voice screamed something at him in the local language.
"Chu He send me" Edward stammered.
The door slams closed. A few second later he can hear chain like sounds.
When the door re-opens a very muscled Asian man can be seen, he is holding the door open and motions for Edward to come in. When he steps in 2 smaller bouncers step forward and pads him down. They find his tiny knife and they laugh. Putting it in a box and giving him a ticket to reclaim it later.
Then the guards point at two big velvet curtains, he moves trough them and gets hit by the smell of smoke and cheap beer. The place has big red sofa's everywhere and most of them are occupied by older fat Asians with sunglasses surrounded by 4 to 8 young girls. Some just sitting and drinking others getting blowjobs and fucking the girls several at a time.
A young waitress comes up to him and points him to a seat, right after sitting down 4 beautiful Asian girls come walking up to him with drinks and some fruit. Before he can ask how much it will cost him they tell him since he was send by Chu He everything will be free for the first 2 hours.
Edward is having the best time, the girls let him do everything he wants, the estrogen's are high and he has splooged over several girls which are then replaced.
He is getting such a high of this that he doesn't notice the time, nor the barman shouting for the last call. He only notices things have changed when the music stops.
Looking around he finds all the men have left except the barman, he is now surrounded by 20 some barely dressed girls and a barman that seems a lot bigger then when he came in.
"I pay now?" Edward asks, a question some of the girls smile about. Al the girls start to undress and kiss and lick him all over. He is thinking this must be a special treatment Chu He got me.
The girls turn him around and put him on his hands and knees, one of the girl positions herself under him and they start to fuck. His body is getting all wet from the sweat and saliva from the girls.
Suddenly he feels a rock hard cock enter his arse and he screams in pain, this is the moment the girls waited for. The all start biting him and slowly devour his body.
"Eat my beauties, night times you feast on juices mornings you can have the rest" Says the barman
Edward screams in excruciating pain, they are eating away on his skin and muscles and are careful enough to not touch any vital parts.
They feast for 5 minutes before he feels the barman's release in his ass.
"I'm done with this one, clean this up!" The barman says.
At that time the girls let out a high pitches screech and dig right into his stomach to be the first to get to the liver and heart.
Edward lives just long enough to feel a hand reach under his chest en give a hard pull on his heart.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-10-23 17:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-10-23 14:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.... your opponent's was better, and your previous entries were better so I kinda expected more.
The hated 1.5 it is from me.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-10-23 14:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt that this was written the way it was on purpose, but still...
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-10-22 20:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-10-22 22:38:06 WST (#)
Ranking: 1
this could have been sooo much better and so much more. good R O U G H but holy shit man is english your second language?
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Yes actually, what gave it away? the absence of words i usually run to a dictionary for?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-10-22 10:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
this could have been sooo much better and so much more. good R O U G H but holy shit man is english your second language?
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-10-22 10:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2008-10-22 07:03:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spelling accents is tough. I liked the goryness of it.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-10-21 20:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-10-22 00:51:28 WST (#)
Ranking: -1
Jesus, nothing personal dude, but this is fucking terrible.
It IS an actual entry, though.
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Mind telling me why though? always willing to improve
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-10-21 12:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Jesus, nothing personal dude, but this is fucking terrible.
It IS an actual entry, though.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-10-21 10:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stucker (user info) at 2008-10-21 10:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/37177#624725
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-10-21 09:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Asians.
long dark alleyways.
knock on door, tell them wang foo sent you.
I've seen this before.
I think Gremlins started like that.
otherwise it was a good read.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-10-21 03:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the heavenly hole bar in the city i am staying, it's build in a mountain/bomb shelter.