The Shame of Wealth (663 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 1.43 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kay Furano (View user info) at 2008-10-28 10:43:54 EDT
Do you know that sensation that you get when you are on a rollercoaster and the cart plunges forty feet down, and your stomach feels as if it were replaced by a huge, gaping hole? It describes exactly how I felt when I stumbled upon the article about New York City and the States which Peaches Geldof, 19, was able to publish in NYLON. Apart from the disastrous style, which evokes memories of the literature pop quiz scribblings of the guy in ninth grade that you would write essays for in return for self-rolled cigarettes, Peaches manages not only to squeeze in about 95% of all common clichés about America and its people, she also succeeds at convincing the reader she has little, if any, idea of the issues that life puts on the plates of people with a $20,000-a-year income.
I'll spare you the details; you can easily torture yourself by reading this article on NYLONmag online, if you wish. Just so much: after starry-eyed, cheesy elaborations on urban kitsch that would make any Iowa 14-year-old blush, rip out the page, burn it publicly on Independence Day and convert to puritanism to make up for this overkill in niceness and "orange sunsets", Peaches describes her "adventures", mostly consisting of invasions on retro clothing stores. She tediously lists her super-interesting, super-cool activities in her "new home", such as going to University (no REALLY), buying clothes (yawn...) and spending her spare time with a geek guy called "Bunny" (is this to demonstrate she is not homophobic or what?). The real punch in the face, however, comes in the form of a self-righteous comparison of herself with THE hero of lonesome vagabonds and the man who made me commit my life to absolutely unglamorous hobodom - Jack Kerouac. Now, am I the only one who thinks there are a few differences between those two guys? Let's see:
JACK KEROUAC
- spent seven years on the road without glorifying it once, highlighting the smut and hardships instead
- lived in a tent for months with a Mexican woman and picked cotton until his fingers bled
- never advocated, or intended to advocate, drug or alcohol abuse
- sure didn't give a shit what his clothes looked like
- accepted himself for what he was
- disliked fame more than anything else
- was a real mensch.
PEACHES GELDOF
- spent few weeks joyriding in a plush bus seeing not a thing of America apart from second hand stores while claiming to have gone "off the beaten path", unlike "many people", experiencing such extraordinary "American" sights as "truck stops, fast food restaurants, and palm trees"
- lives in a flossy Brooklyn apartment after having had her first own pad at 14; but, "heroically", bought a shirt from a Mexican woman in Colorado for only one dollar even though that poor woman claimed it was "family heirloom"
- has been caught on video buying drugs and has not once stated publicly that she would be regretful about her actions in any way
- fills half of her mind-numbing article with descriptions of her wardrobe and that of others, even if these others are only a ten-year-old child from Pittsburgh (yes Peaches, it is spelled with an "h" at the end) who probably doesn't even know what a "fedora" is (neither do I)
- depicts herself as a fashion-fascist try-hard by telling tales of mingling with "real" people
- preens herself on the spotlight that was accidentally, and tragically, shed on her due to her daddy's recognizable name
- is a [fill in appropriate female expletive here] and a [come on, I won't blame you].
What we have here is the modern voice of the contemporary media, meandering between self-congratulations, humbug and deception. Yes, New York is a great place to be, and so is most of my beloved America, but where are the dying poet, the crying clown, the tramp that vomits into the sewer, and all the other underbelly characters that also make up this country? They're not so glamorous, of course, I understand. And at this point I would like to thank the editors of NYLONmag online, because they were graceful enough to put up a "Comments" feature at the bottom of the page:
"Gag, another poor little rich girl comes to town to eat a piece of the city's soul. If you have to stay in America honey, move your ass to LA." (PAUL)
"I'm in awe of what an astoundingly abysmal piece of shit this is. Fuck monkeys with typewriters spending millennia writing the great American novel - unlimited monkeys working for unlimited time could never, ever even approach churning out anything so inconceivably shitty. I feel like I just found out McCain won the election - I have lost faith in humanity." (AARON)
"I now fully understand why you guys fought a War of Independence. I'm just ashamed that Brits like this exist." (VALERIE)
"Easiest buck that vieja in Colorado ever made." (CHICANAFALSA)
"Epic fail. Humanity cries." (CHRIST)
"c*** off peaches, you vacuous c***ing c***" (SOMEONE WITH A BRAIN)
A nauseating piece of writing, indeed. At least, I feel, I am not alone.
User Reviews
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-10-29 04:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-10-28 23:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Never heard of her.
Appreciate the hate though.
Kerouac was the man without a plan.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2008-10-28 19:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm tired of crap like this going on. The moment I read this little paragraph, I knew that this article was going to be a pile of crap:
"America is a strange place, a place of contradictions, but a place that never fails to change one's world view. I am constantly surprised by this huge country—each state tells a different tale: It's like a never-ending novel with each page more exciting and bizarre than the last."
I just want to go through her article, commenting on all the most pointless drivel she manages to get published...but I don't want to post the entire article here.
Submitted by paranoiadestroya (user info) at 2008-10-28 19:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't criticise what you don't understand
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-10-28 18:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-10-28 17:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a stunned cunt
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-28 15:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2008-10-28 19:15:43 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Couldn't agree more - she's awful. Get her off the tv and OUT of the magazines and papers.
Bob Geldof, and in a way, her mother Paula Yates were great but what the HELL did they spawn?
-------------------------------------------
Paula Yates was a fantastic iconic woman.
Sure, she left her kids in the worse way possible...
Still, the Hutchence/Yates love story is terrible romatic/tragic.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2008-10-28 15:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Couldn't agree more - she's awful. Get her off the tv and OUT of the magazines and papers.
Bob Geldof, and in a way, her mother Paula Yates were great but what the HELL did they spawn?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-10-28 15:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
never heard of nther bitch.
now it's your fault that i have.
anyway, complete sentences, good grammar, nice hate, blah blah blah...welcome to uber, you're about three years late.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-10-28 13:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good rant. and this comment made me laugh :
"Epic fail. Humanity cries." (CHRIST)
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2008-10-28 12:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this hate.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-10-28 12:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Epic fail. Humanity cries." (CHRIST)
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-10-28 12:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE PEACHES ALONE?!?!?!!!
*Yozz flails around on the floor sobbing uncontrollably*
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
methodical and well thought out hate.
bravo
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your brand of hate. I hope that you post more, as this site could use a few more people capable of writing a coherent diatribe now and then.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am fucking sick of these kids. The Geldofs, Winstones, Allens, Tylers etc. running around town thinking they're the shit because daddy sung some songs or did some movies.
I'm leaving London in three weeks and I won't miss reading about these cunts in the local press.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Slam-dunk! She is a fucking stupid little trollope.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drop any one of them in the woods, hell drop them on the street corner of 'real life USA' and I'm convinced that they would be completely at a loss on how to survive.
Nature could NEVER evolve something like them.
It has to be god.
--------
can i offer some poor stoner philosophers to take part in this experiment?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
there's no nobility inherent in poverty. income doesn't determine character, morality, altruism, any of that. assuming that being poor has anything to do with the character of a person being better than the character of someone with a ton of money is bad logic.
jack kerouac was not awesome for being a vagabond, he was just awesome. she's not a shit because she's rich, she's just a shit.
a higher income just makes certain things easier. that's all it's ever done.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
fair points, but really what did you expect?
Actually I take that back - she should have more of a fucking clue with a father like hers
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always wanted to do a tongue in cheek post about my definitive proof that the theory of evolution is false.
*Please note that I accept evolution as fact.*
Anyway, my "proof" that the theory of evolution is crap is the mere existance of people like Peaches Geldoff, Paris Hilton, and others of their ilk.
Only a capricious diety could be responsible for the creation of beings (most celebs) that are as useless as these people seem to be.
Drop any one of them in the woods, hell drop them on the street corner of 'real life USA' and I'm convinced that they would be completely at a loss on how to survive.
Nature could NEVER evolve something like them.
It has to be god.
Ok nevermind. It's not that funny.
+2 I agree with you.
============
I think its perfect proof of evolution really. I mean at the core you evolve to survive in your environment. Some people have very different environments than others.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:04:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-10-28 10:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, as crappy as your subject person is in your opinion, I was blissfully unaware of him or her until now. You hae furthered his or her ends by expanding the number of people who have heard the name.
If you quit paying attention to hm or her, he or she will go away.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:04:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always wanted to do a tongue in cheek post about my definitive proof that the theory of evolution is false.
*Please note that I accept evolution as fact.*
Anyway, my "proof" that the theory of evolution is crap is the mere existance of people like Peaches Geldoff, Paris Hilton, and others of their ilk.
Only a capricious diety could be responsible for the creation of beings (most celebs) that are as useless as these people seem to be.
Drop any one of them in the woods, hell drop them on the street corner of 'real life USA' and I'm convinced that they would be completely at a loss on how to survive.
Nature could NEVER evolve something like them.
It has to be god.
Ok nevermind. It's not that funny.
+2 I agree with you.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-10-28 11:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
journalism in most forms is nearly dead...hate to say
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-10-28 10:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, as crappy as your subject person is in your opinion, I was blissfully unaware of him or her until now. You hae furthered his or her ends by expanding the number of people who have heard the name.
If you quit paying attention to hm or her, he or she will go away.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-10-28 10:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
just kidding I can't read
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-10-28 10:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish this post were replaced with YOUR huge, gaping hole