The largest pimple and biggest little fucker of my life (kinda gross...) (2414 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.65 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tokerson (View user info) at 2008-10-29 13:53:30 EDT
(Just close this window unless you like seeing youtube videos of peopling popping cysts, websites like ratemypoo.com, or eating cottage cheese)
So I thought recently that, as I'm not 16 anymore and don't really get pimples at all, I could go for a few days without showering, and that a past of mild zits around my eyebrows and just between them were a thing of the past. I never had a chance. So when I got home after a few days, I was already under seige by a Godless abomination from the 9th circle of Hell.
After the first day, it was just under two inches in diameter and felt like a hockey puck under my skin every time I moved my eyebrows, so I decided to pop the Fucker... after two hours, or two episodes of Lost I didn't watch, my hands (literally every finger and both palms) and face from my eyebrows and nose to the tops of my cheeks, were covered with this flaking-off yellowish resin the colour of which I've circled below in green.
The skin wasn't tearing and the probably one and a half shot glass amount of this oil just kept flowing, and everytime I finished and looked it over, the little bitch was already rejuiced and ready to go.
So two frustrating hours later, I admitted defeat and had to shower off before going to bed. The next morning, I woke to see it mocking me in the mirror and only marginally less thick, wide and red than the night before, and as I was so impressed by the first dermalogical abberation to best me with ease, I had to take its picture. In the pics, the flash really dulls the blood red shade of it and the colour of my skin; it's just over an inch wide and was just under two inches and just under half as red, less so cuz of the flash, than it was before.
User Reviews
Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2008-11-02 21:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2008-10-31 15:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A nipple that fucking LACTATES! Fair play.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-10-30 19:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-10-30 12:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It almost looks like a nipple.
__________
nipple face.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2008-10-30 17:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-10-29 21:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back when I played football (American) in high school, my chin would be destroyed by pimples.
During my junior year, a giant one formed deep under the skin.
It took over a week for the head(s) to appear.
Three.
Three heads on the pimple.
Half of my chin.
More than half an inch ahead of the rest of my chin.
When I popped it; it exploaded.
Blood started to pour out.
The whole area scabbed over for about 2 weeks.
Looked sort of like herpes.
Of the chin.
Bottom line is fuck chinstraps.
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we had the same problem on my football team. There were little cushioned dimples on our chinstraps and everybody had a perfect polka dotted pattern of pimples on their chins, and we finally figured out that they would go away if we put arm bands in there. It was not comfortable, but at least we stopped looking like clowns when we were at school.
um, also, my senior year when i shaved my head at the end of my swimming season, so many people were constantly rubbing my head and getting their oil on it that most of my scalp broke out in whiteheads. It was possibly the most disgusting thing that has happened to me. at least one of.
TAKE A GODDAMN SHOWER YOU GREASY FUCK
Submitted by CollegeSlacker (user info) at 2008-10-30 16:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
holy shit I have bad break-outs if I don't shower 2 times daily but 2 days!?!
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-10-30 14:32:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
dude.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-10-30 12:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It almost looks like a nipple.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-30 11:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-10-30 11:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-30 14:32:06 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=1024
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i seriously watched the whole thing. then i realize didn't have the sound on and there was probably some funny commentary and watched it again.
wtf is wrong with me?
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well there is your hatred of men for starters
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oh no, don't worry, i just hate everyone.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-10-30 11:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-30 14:32:06 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=1024
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i seriously watched the whole thing. then i realize didn't have the sound on and there was probably some funny commentary and watched it again.
wtf is wrong with me?
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well there is your hatred of men for starters
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-30 10:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-10-29 23:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's pretty cool. You should trick a baby into sucking it until it's gone.
This guy, however, remains the unchallenged champion ( probably NSFW, and not for the easily sickened):
http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=1024
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i seriously watched the whole thing. then i realize didn't have the sound on and there was probably some funny commentary and watched it again.
wtf is wrong with me?
Submitted by Entaran (user info) at 2008-10-30 09:51:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You can go 2 or 3 days without showering if you don't work/live in a dusty/dirty environment. You're still meant to wash your face morning and night though. It's not like you just get to not clean at all.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-10-30 09:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy fuck. You poor bastard.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-10-30 07:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-10-29 22:37:24 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's pretty cool. You should trick a baby into sucking it until it's gone.
This guy, however, remains the unchallenged champion ( probably NSFW, and not for the easily sickened):
http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=1024
=====
Some lady came into the clinic with one of those in her armpit. The doctor sent us a swab of brownish, greenish, and bloody pus to culture. What grew out was group A streptococcus.
She was fucked up for a while needless to say. She was lucky though, it could have developed into necrotizing fasciitis.
<shudder>
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-10-30 01:22:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GROSS!
GO PHILS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2008-10-30 01:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy fucking hell.
Submitted by F_N_S (user info) at 2008-10-29 23:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
not bad but try having a polinoidal cyst that becomes septic
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2008-10-29 23:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's pretty cool. You should trick a baby into sucking it until it's gone.
This guy, however, remains the unchallenged champion ( probably NSFW, and not for the easily sickened):
http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=1024
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-10-29 22:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking wash up, you filthy pig
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-10-29 21:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Back when I played football (American) in high school, my chin would be destroyed by pimples.
During my junior year, a giant one formed deep under the skin.
It took over a week for the head(s) to appear.
Three.
Three heads on the pimple.
Half of my chin.
More than half an inch ahead of the rest of my chin.
When I popped it; it exploaded.
Blood started to pour out.
The whole area scabbed over for about 2 weeks.
Looked sort of like herpes.
Of the chin.
Bottom line is fuck chinstraps.
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-10-29 21:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude... you have a boob on your face.
=============
Dammit, Rob beat me to it. This seriously looks like you photoshopped an aureole into your forehead.
Submitted by stucker (user info) at 2008-10-29 20:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.popthatzit.com
Submitted by dantangel (user info) at 2008-10-29 19:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It looks like a big nipple, put some tooth paste on that thing and dry it out!
YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO LEAVE A MARK THERE!
THANX FOR POSTING I WENT ON A HOUR TOUR OF YOUTUBES PIMPLE SECTION!
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2008-10-29 19:00:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for actually posting this.
You'd have been better off not trying to pop it, unless there was a head.
Big bumps like that you're better off trying to dry it out with topical treatments or even toothpaste.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-10-29 17:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You could probably just tell people you got shot in the head by a sniper and no one would ever know it was a zit.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-10-29 16:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dr. Sage recommends a good scrubbing, followed by a generous application of some sort of salicylic acid anti-acne product, followed by some cortisone (what you put on bug bites, which will help reduce the swelling), followed by some Vitamin E.
Do this before you go to bed and after you shower in the AM, before you go and do whatever it is that you do. Lather rinse & repeat until it's gone. Ta da!
PS: NO MORE POPPING!!!!!!!!!!
Now vamanos.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:49:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cyclops
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol, forehead tit
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5018830111390743954
Howay now.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Going on birth control pills may help that.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why have you got a photo of hurt by the sun on your forehead?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
holy living christ on a cracker why would you announce this blemish to the world?
hide away somewhere with the other lepers!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you look real closely at it- and how can you not, with that picture - I think I see a relative of Sir Edmund Hillary planting a flag on the top of it.
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You'd all be suprised how quickly I was approved for an excorcism by the Vatican. A Dermatheocratoligist was flown in from Vienna and cut the bastard out of my Soul with a flaming scalpel of the Light...
And for the record, I've not had a pimple more than once or twice a month for the last few years. This unGodly beast caught me totally by suprise.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Blarftthspitch!
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Use tea tree oil on that.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude... you have a boob on your face.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, that looks pretty painful. Hope you never think again that zits stop after your teen years. You can be 30 and still get them, so scrub your face and use some soap.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-29 15:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You know me too well. At the moment I'm unbuckled and just waiting for my porn to download :o)
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually with that nice little ring around it it kinda looks like a tick bite.
btw ew.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:58:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so basically, fj, you put downloading gay porn and uber before looking good with your brown leather man bag?
*shocked*
i bet you spend all your time on flickr. you dirty bugger.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This literally made me cringe and want to vomit, and I usually dont mind this sort of thing. Put some fucking Clearasil on, shit...use some Oxy Pads...ANYTHING. Good God, man!
Eewwwwwaaaachhhhkkk-toooeeeeeeyucky!!!!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2008-10-29 18:40:56 GMT (#)
Ranking: 1
Looks the same catastrophic crater that occurred when the comet "Shoemaker-Levy 9" collided Jupiter !
---------------
Except that Jupiter is almost entirely gaseous and therefore...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude, that's not just a simple pustule pimple. It looks more like a cyst. Maybe even a Carbuncle, which is an infected cyst.
http://www.acne.org/types-of-acne.html
"Cysts: An acne cyst can appear similar to a nodule, but is pus-filled, and has been described as having a diameter of 5mm or more across. They can be painful. Again, scarring is common with cystic acne. Squeezing an acne cyst may cause a deeper infection and more painful inflammation which will last much longer than if you had left it alone. Dermatologists often have ways of lessening swelling and preventing scarring."
Yeeeks!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Subcutaneous infections like that respond only to power tools. Get yourself a hammer drill and a belt sander, a towel and some rubbing alcohol, and go to it.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm afraid I've put my man-bag ambitions to the side for the time being. Economic crisis and all.
Sigh.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but fj! the ted baker bag will never be yours if you splash out on internet at home!
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Looks the same catastrophic crater that occurred when the comet "Shoemaker-Levy 9" collided Jupiter !
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking OUCH! Dude, wash once in a while, Jesus!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:32:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Chicks dig scars.
But not acne scars.
Get used to celibacy for a few more years, Howie.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No I'm at home. I bought one of those pay-as-you-go broadband thingys :o)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fj are you still at work?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you have pretty eyes
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Gads!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Why did this have to happen?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
craterface.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-10-29 14:11:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
holy fuck, dude