kids. (236 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by achTUNGBABY (View user info) at 2008-11-03 09:56:18 EST
I played chess against this little girl, a seven year-old.
Sharp as a tack, deliberate with every move, I asked if her queen was on her color and smirked at her glare.
Of course it was, checking mine.
My pawn then her pawn - mine again then her knight and testing her, queen suprise attack to rook. She blinked, admonished me with a scowl and knock it over, again reinforcing that I shouldn't be letting her win.
She's seven. That's kind of disarming if you've ever known an uppity seven year old.
"I'm not letting you win captain superstar, I'm testing the waters - seeing what you understand."
She accepted that, and then made an illegal knight move.
"you can't do that, it's 2 then 1, or 1 then two, not 3 and one."
"I didn't take my hand off it."
smiles...
"No you didn't - I will still crush you like a bug you're a bishop down."
"Maybe just don't let me win because I'm a kid."
[immediately develops parental crush on kid] "You're very clever for a little girl."
"My dad taught me. I've got a plan you know you just keep stuffing it up."
"Really?" [moves second knight]
"What's a bishop?"
"What's your plan?"
"I want to move this soldier up.."
"that....'soldier', is called a pawn."
"yes well I want to move him up, and get my castle back."
"If you get to the end of the board you get a piece back?"
"Yes."
"But I have a rook patrolling this second last line, anything that comes past will get nailed."
"What's a rook?"
"A castle. I'll just swish by and kick your ass."
"oh....."
"You know how I said I would kick your ass? Well we're right in that whole total process. You know what process means?"
"I'm seven not stupid."
"okay well then you know. You're not winning here you know."
"Yes but you're not beating me in twelve moves like you said."
"How old are you?"
"Seven - eight on the 28th, you know that."
"Yes, well, you're not exactly in charge. Listen, have fun at little lunch tomorrow you plaited haried pleb, checkmate."
"I'm not sure it's checkmate."
"What, do you want a frigging referee? It's checkmate smartass. You can't stay where you are or my rook will own you, and you can't move forward or my knights will strip you bare."
"What's a rook?"
"Castle."
"fair enough, what are knights?"
"..horseys."
"well I guess I'm screwed. way to pick on a little kid."
<amazed>
User Reviews
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-05 09:38:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hakuna matata!
POINTS!!
<3 Sage
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-11-05 07:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
just because the picture amuses me
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-11-03 11:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hate U2.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:52:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
PS...this child looks fat. She needs a treadmill.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
and then you raped her?
p.s
a queen cannot be 'checked' you imbecile.
perhaps she raped you.
this guy challenges bubba for resident retard.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:37:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AChtungbaby (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn, fuck off sage you fucking extraordinary looking slore. way to retal you stupid, ignorant noob git. btw your hair? it needs some - body.
****************************
What is a git? You are a waste of energy. Go fuck right off and die in a ditch. I'll be sure to bring all my homeless friends with equally lifeless hair and have 'em all piss and shit over your rotting corpse.
Have some points, I feel sorry for you.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sharp as a tack, deliberate with every move, I asked if her queen was on her color and smirked at her glare.
Of course it was, checking mine.
---
I wasn't aware you could check a queen.
I figured it had to be the king, see.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:34:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This appears to be illegal.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The kid sounds like a smug little fucker and you sound like a dull twit.
Just sayin'
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:28:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fucking bully
Submitted by AChtungbaby (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn, fuck off sage you fucking extraordinary looking slore. way to retal you stupid, ignorant noob git. btw your hair? it needs some - body.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:08:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-11-03 10:03:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This story doesn't make the kid seem so bright, but it does make you appear rather dim.