10 tiny true stories. (485 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.5 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by "I got aroused by Molly Cyrus's back" (View user info) at 2008-11-13 21:25:18 EST
1. I grew up in a small town/ suburban area. We used to play neighborhood football all the time. I have 3 older brothers and I am about 3-6 years younger than them. Well when the older boys were playing they picked me and my friend peter to play with them. We were the only younger kids good enough. I was about 11 years old. I was doing well catching passes, scoring touchdowns on people age 15-17. My brother Daniel that is closest in age. After I caught a pass blindsided me into our mailboxes. I hit the mailbox and started to cry. His friend Kyle went ballistic on him and flipped out. My family was fucked up like that. We were so competitive. I don't even know why. I mean my dad didn't give a fuck. But that's how it was in my family. Everyman for himself. Even at this pointing our lives we compete with everything. College, Sports, degrees, wealth. But we will always help each other out. I guess.
2. One time when I was 9 years old I was out playing down the street. My uncle who is a fucking asshole saw me down the street playing. He started to yell at me to go home. This was at around 4:00pm in the afternoon. I went home as I was told and he took me in the room and started to spank me. I yelled out "what the hell?" My dad came down and nearly killed him. My dad said in perfect words "If you ever touch my son, again I will kick the living shit out of you! Do you understand?" He huffed out of the room. I don't know what his problem was. He would take out his rage on family I guess. He never touched me again and till this day I fucking hate him. I mean I saw him a couple years back and I was waiting for him to say something stupid and I was going to cold clock him in the throat. Our families aren't close anymore.
3. When I was at this bullshit community college in my recording class this kid left his CD player in the class. He was kind of a loser and my friend and I wanted his CD player. So we took it when he left it. We just wanted the CD player but the CD inside was "Dashboard Confessional" I think there first CD. I was going to toss it out. But I didn't. I listened to it and literally fell in love with it and in the process got emo with it. I mean I went from being hardcore Rap/thug rap guy to listening to rock music, it really opened up my love to all music. I still to this day love that CD. I know it's so fucking emo.
4. I have played sports my entire life and I have hated almost every single one of my coaches. I just am the type of person where I know my talent. So if a coach pisses me off or else I feel that I'm getting jerked around I will be over it. Quit, won't try etc... I don't know it's a real shitty habit. I call it the T.O. Complex. But whatever. I think I am destined for more in my life than to hit or play with a ball. Hopefully we'll see.
5. When I was younger I was smart. I mean really smart. But I hated my teachers. We just moved into a new area when I was 8 years old. So I lived in the richer and better well off part of town. But the school we should have gone to was too full so we had to go to the poor "white trash" school about 15mins away. I have never met more foul mouthed, demon children in my entire life. I was getting in fights with these kids every day. I had to go there all elementary school from 2- 6th grade. My parents weren't the type of parents to listen to there kids. Whenever we would say how much we hated the school or complain. My mom would just brush it off and really have no concern. I don't think she truly understood how bad that school was. Well they kept trying to put me in the "learning center" or some bullshit. But every time they would I would get an A on the placement exam. They couldn't quite figure me out. I just really hated that school and that environment.
6. When I was in high school my Jr. Year I used to hangout with a friend of my named Devon. He was a little wannabe thug black kid from the suburbs. He attended the same shitty elementary school as me in the above paragraph. Well we were all sitting up on the top of the bleachers during an assembly. Our buddy Chris another black, thug, wannabe kid from the state of Virginia (he was from Virginia so I guess he had credentials to his gangster ness.). Had White Out. But not the pen but the one you can glop into like a cup. It was liquid white out. When the lights went dark he filled up about half a cup fool of white out and threw out down the bleachers. The white out flew everywhere. When the lights went on everyone was covered in white out. I went to a rich high school so all there North face fleeces (expensive), Tommy Hilfiger, Abercrombie, Polo, etc... clothes were covered. We basically had a mob run up after us. The entire auditorium erupted and they came towards us. The principal ran up and pulled us out of the mob. They tried to claim that we had to pay $5,000 dollars for the destroyed merchandise. I refused and so did my friends. We said we didn't know who threw it and that they couldn't prove it was us. We got away. Though my senior year my principal came and said he let me slide on it. "I told him that I did not do it". Never ratted on Chris though. Chris got sent back to Virginia before graduation.
7. I was a bad kid. I mean not really bad but troubled. I in a heated argument with my vice principal as he was yelling at me about insubordination. He got in my face and grabbed me. As soon as he put his hands on me I reacted and shoved his fat ass over his desk onto the floor. I then proceeded to walk out and he ran in huffing and puffing as I was in our Principals office waiting. "That I had assaulted him". But my Principal loved me and my family so she didn't do anything. He never talked to me again. Anytime I had trouble I went to our head Principal Anderson.
8. A lot of people don't like the way I live my life. I go out, party, drink, smoke weed, etc... Since doing this I have been vilified by coaches about what type of player or person I am. The only thing that makes them look stupid is the fact that I get good grades, I build houses, I am on the honor roll, honor society, student senate etc... So when people try to bad mouth me I make them look stupid. I mean I just kill on the field and that is all that matters anyway.
9. I shoved a girl one time. (Only once). This was down in So Cal and this girl was one of the most annoying spoiled bitches I have ever met. We got to the party and she was drunk ranting and raving and throwing people out left and right. She threw me out once then my buddy got her to let me stay, then she came around again and was so drunk she forgot I could stay and started asking me again for the third time. 'Who do you know?" I pointed again to my friend and she walked off. Then she was drunk and tried to throw out this girl that had been in the party the entire time claiming "This is my house! My dad owns this place!' So finally I snapped and called her a "stupid, spoiled, whore" and she flipped on me and tried to get all gangsters in my face and started claming she was from "Nor Cal". She was from Los Gato's. She shoved me twice and the next time I just tossed her. She flew across the room into the fridge and hit the ground. Everyone sat there with a "hush" face then they all started cheering. She got up and started screaming. I was raised not to hit girls but I'm not going to lie. I would do that again if given the opportunity.
10. I used to think I was really tough guy. I mean I ran with the popular, jock, ASB, Frat, College crowd in high school. Well when I was a year out of 19 I thought I was pretty bad ass. So we were out in a party and a fight broke out between these two towns. It was about people who graduated like 8 years before or something. Just kid's who didn't go to college so all there pride was in high school football and that school pride. I was there a fight broke out. I fought a 26 year old behemoth of a man when I was 19. I got my ass kicked but held my own. I got sucker punched and the fight broke out. I had to go to ER and get stitches in my eye. My vision is still off in my left eye. I guess you live and you learn.
These aren't my best stories but the only ones I could think of with clarity today. Well, blow me up, Uber!
User Reviews
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-11-14 04:06:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-11-13 23:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Love ya Perky.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2008-11-13 23:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh man...
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:41:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
As I got up in front of them, I felt an intoxication that had nothing to
do with alcohol. It was the intoxication of being a public spectacle.
-- Homer Simpson
Dancin' Homer
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
See, dipshit?? Shlongy said please!! He is a polite asshole!!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:36:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Someone PLEASE rate this as a -2 and blow it away! Please?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:25:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"I"..."I"..."I"..."I"...
Please shut the fuck up.
"I"....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:04:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i need to change my handle.
==========
Change your underwear. Then people won't hate you.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:07:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:04:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i need to change my handle.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
piss off
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-11-13 22:01:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hit the street, fag boy.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:51:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha you think so bubba? bro get a life this is a shitty website. Don't you have to go pout about Jack or something?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit. There's no Ivy League in Scranton, PA. Nor in Rat Fuck, GA.
Lying fuck.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:43:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahah i think I need to start trying on my grammar at posts again.
the internet killed my grammar.
I apologize uber. I am in college, an ivy league at that!
Submitted by Blackberry (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:41:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You actually completed the third grade??
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:38:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually got to #3 before I started puking. The shitty grammar is so contrived it becomes stupid. Method , Doodles, or whomever: just fucking stop.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-11-13 21:32:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I could have written this better.