Quo Vadis (400 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.55 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by realpolitik (View user info) at 2008-11-17 01:03:33 EST
"Oh James, I just don't think I will be ever to love someone else the way that I love you..." Kelley said as she gazed, doe-eyed, at what she was currently calling "her anchor," "world," and "first and only true love."
James was too busy fighting the robot zombies.
"I know we are only 16, but our love is so deep, you know? It is so special. I don't think anyone else will ever have what we have right now." Claimed Kelly as she grasped her hands together and pulled them unto her bosom as she cocked her head and with self-righteousness that she thought was not just sexy but inspiring
"Keep your fuckin' head down!!" James screamed as he fired another PG-29V rocket from his shoulder mounted RPG-29 at a very large, very angry Tyrannosaurus rex.
"High school is hard, but that is what makes our love so strong, because through the good times and bad times, we have each other, we are there for each other," Kelly continued her soliloquy, undeterred by the dinosaurs, robot-zombies, or godless communists which surrounded her and her "one and only," "Like when you went out for varsity last fall. It was only your freshman year, but you played so strong, you were so magnificent with the ball, you were like a human Adonis," Kelly had recently learned about Adonis in ENG002: The Myth and the Mythical Hero, an honors freshman literature course taught by Mister Krautherberger. "And when you made the team I was so proud of you."
"¡No puedo morir aqui!" screamed one of the Cuban, warm blooded, commies as James grapped him, spun him around, and in the midst of using him as a human shield, pumped round after round of Teflon-coated bullets through his chest cavity, causing a fine mist of tissue, blood, and vital organs to descend upon the immediate area.
"But love must endure in good times and in bad, and love is only made stronger by the hardships we endure," Kelly began to wax philosophic as she stared across the lake.
James shot at the Kraken that was slowly emerging from its depths. It screamed in agony, as Kraken often due when a shot in the eye with a 7.92 mm round.
"I remember it so well, and it hurts just as badly now as when it happened. You were so proud of your new uniform, and so excited on your first day of practice." Kelly sweetly kissed James' cheek, which had he been 40 years older, would undoubtedly be covered with grey stubble.
"Take that you that you communist whore!!" screamed James as sunk his multi-purpose hunting/ survival knife into the eye socket of a cold-blooded, Soviet communist.
"And then . . ." Kelly tear-ed up with the memory of that painful time, "then they . . . they cornered you in the locker room. . ."
"Get down! It's coming for us!" yelled James as he simultaneously lobbed a grenade into the open maw of a rapidly advancing Velociraptor and tackled Kelly out of the way. The turkey sized predator stumbled after not grabbing its prey and slid across the dirt, not five feet from where the James was protectively shielding Kelly, hands over his ears.
"And called you . . . called you a . . . a faggot," Kelly managed to get out though her tears were now forming crystalline rivers, cutting new furrows through the dirt on her face.
"I've got you now, you son of a . . ." the Velociraptor cocked its head in curiosity just moments before it was ripped apart from the insides out in a fiery conflagration.
"Telling you to 'jack them off' - oh God it was awful, how could they be so mean to someone as sweet as you pumpkinmuffin?" Kelly gazed up longingly into the eyes of the boy who now found himself lying awkwardly on top of her.
"We're not out of the woods yet." James gazed back into the eyes of the girl who was no doubt frightened by the surrounding chaos and permitted for himself a moment of tenderness.
"Come on, follow me!" said James as he pulled Kelly out of the dirt, took her hand, and began running with her to the nearest building.
"Oh James, that is just what I needed to hear!"
User Reviews
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-17 20:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
forgot to rank.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-17 20:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Raptors were dog sized. About German Shepard sized. (if I'm not mistaken)
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-11-17 19:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sexy primes:
prime numbers that differ by six.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-11-17 18:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-11-17 18:32:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Gator (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Random. And not really in the pleasant sense.
"High school is hard..."
Pish posh. Pfffffft, even.
Fuck innocence.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not going to read it, but +2 effort.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Raptors are only turkey-sized? Fucking Spielberg and his lies.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-11-17 03:20:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was shit
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-11-17 01:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha.. loved it.