The Shopping List (820 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.81 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2008-11-17 06:50:04 EST
I have this list, it doesn't sound like much, and to be quite honest it isn't all that amazing. It is my list for me, no one else it just helps me to remember what I need. It sits on the fridge, held up by that awful magnet I got from South Africa and that 'Dogs have owners, Cats have Staff' one, always brings a smile, even though I haven't had a cat since hector disappeared. I have it on the fridge because nine times out of ten it is fridge items, or kitchen items, that go on the list. Eggs, bacon, milk, tinned tuna, fruit and vegetables everyday items. I take it down at the end of every week and action it. It's simple and has worked for years.
When I first noticed the additions I didn't really think all that much about it, I would normally look at the words first thing in the morning, in my usual shattered state, and not really register them. I did spot that they weren't written in my handwriting, mine is illegible at best when the new items were in block capitals and easy to read. I ignored them as maybe things I had added after a glass too much of wine and trying my best to make my writing legible. I didn't buy the items I crossed them out instead. A few days later though I would find them back on the list in the same hand. I'm sure I didn't drink too much the night before.
Two months ago it changed. More and more often items were turning up in this strange hand writing. Again I crossed them out and left them, but it was getting quicker at replacing them. They would turn up underlined. I started to panic then. Someone was obviously breaking into my house, but that made little sense; as why would someone break into my house and write on my bloody shopping list? No one else has a key to my house. I couldn't understand it. Could I call the police and tell them that someone was breaking into my house, without breaking in, and adding items to my shopping? What would they think about that? Some new found way of robbing people by getting them to purchase items they didn't need and then sneaking in and stealing them. I laughed at that, but it did give me an idea. What happens if I do buy the items on the list? If I get them what are they going to be used for? What is someone going to do with 6 litres of bleach and a hammer? (Just some of the items requested) I didn't really want to know, so I continued to cross them out.
A month ago it changed again. Whoever it is had tired of merely adding; they had taken to threatening. Quite simple to start; 'BLEACH, 6 LTRS, BUY IT OR ELSE.' As I crossed items off then they would be replaced. I almost gave in when the message 'TOMORROW YOU WILL LEARN NOT TO IGNORE ME' appeared.
The next day I woke up with a three inch cut on my right thigh, not too deep but enough to cover the sheets in blood. I ran to the bathroom and a knife from my kitchen lay in the sink covered in blood, I screamed. I ran down stairs and grabbed the phone calling the police. It was whilst I was on the phone to them that I saw the list in its normal place on the fridge, a bloody smudge in the bottom corner and its new message; 'BLEACH, 6 LTRS, OR I TAKE A FINGER.'
User Reviews
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-11-18 12:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have bought the items to see what happened.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-18 09:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by billjenkins13090 (user info) at 2008-11-17 20:48:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The Machinist......?....
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2008-11-17 18:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2008-11-17 16:12:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:48:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:46:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pick me up some puddin while you are at the store.
and, yes puddin is the propper pronunciation.
the "G" is silent, always has been.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:42:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
drogo!
Submitted by peppermintpete (user info) at 2008-11-17 15:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least there's only one extra personality to deal with.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-11-17 14:28:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnMDrv8Mx3E
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-11-17 14:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When i was about 17, and starting to spend nights out till the early hours of 6am, shattered and dehydrated after a heavy evening's binge, on the long walk home, we would notice that the milkman was doing his rounds. When he was at the start of a street, we would be at the far end. People often leave notes out with their empty milk bottles, giving their order for the next day - '2 pints semi skimmed, 1 Orange Juice, 1 loaf white bread'.
We would replace this with our own note - '4 pints semi skimmed, 3 Orange Juice, 4 chocalate milk, 2 strawberry, 2 loaves white bread'.
The milkman would dutifully lay the requested items and go about his day. We would retrieve the extra items, leaving only the original note and what the householder had asked for.
Breakfast was served.
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2008-11-17 12:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe. Hehehe. Hehehehe.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-11-17 12:02:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fun
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2008-11-17 11:30:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked this
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-11-17 11:22:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
only cuz i think you're cute.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:16:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2008-11-17 08:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats a shit ton of white clothes to wash.... you must buy alot of socks....
--
I moved on from Socks and went onto sheets, quite literally went onto sheets actually.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-17 09:15:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fancy...
And, I fancied this.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-11-17 08:57:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am intrigued
make more
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2008-11-17 08:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats a shit ton of white clothes to wash.... you must buy alot of socks....
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-11-17 08:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-17 08:01:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cant type, working, goodbye, over and out
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:59:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone is telling you in a none-too-subtle way to do your whites.
They must have been getting yellowed.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:54:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you should buy that bleach. This guy might not be messing around.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm slowly being dragged back to über. My return to studying has left me with a deep desire to procrastinate. Über fills that need in me.
_________________-
Can you bring about 1000 friends too?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Spooky.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm slowly being dragged back to über. My return to studying has left me with a deep desire to procrastinate. Über fills that need in me.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:26:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
More like Drogo got a bit bored for the first time in a while. Ahh the musty smell of Uber on a monday morning, all beer breath and crusty sheets
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
does this mean drogos making a come back?
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bastard freeloaders!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-11-17 07:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute. Should've made a deal with him.
"I'll buy the bleach if you clean the toilet while I'm at work. Cunt."