The Trampled Flower (523 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.71 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2008-11-20 05:35:24 EST
My sword flicks through the air and downs another tyrant who would seek to take my throne. I stab him again on the floor, making sure the dirty scoundrel is vanquished, before raising my sword to my lips in salute. I pause and look down at my foe lying beaten at my feet. How beautiful the flower looked when it was standing proud with its friends. I look back and see the others coming around the corner, they must never know what I have done, they must not know the killer in their midst. I stamp my foot down on the evidence and squash it into the ground before running down the path to rejoin my family.
It must be autumn, but I could be wrong; memory has a way of playing tricks on the mind and colouring scenes in hues that don't belong but make them 'safe' for viewing. The ground under foot is damp and gives a satisfying squeal when a suitably soft patch has been found; something my sisters have come to fear as I have an uncanny ability of finding ripe, juicy patches of soft mud to use to spray them. Of course the inevitable screams of horror followed by the snitching to mother or father is a rather annoying side affect.
My faithful hound approaches me and nuzzles my knitted mitten; items of bondage forced upon me by my mother in her attempt to limit my movements no doubts. The string is too short for my long arms and as such forces me to walk with my shoulders hunched up. The rest of my attire is similarly fluffy and warm, a jumper that only a grandmother with an over active knitting gland could produce, thankfully it doesn't have my name on it, yet. My bobble hat sits atop my head as my crown; I have pulled the bobble quite a bit so that the dangle sometimes has the slightly annoying habit of hitting me in the face when I run, still it keeps my head nice and toasty.
I stomp away gaining some satisfaction from watching dirty spurts of water shoot up the side of my wellington boots. A small spurt jumps a little too far and lays a small trail of mud on my new corduroy trousers; I try to brush it off with a mitten but seem to make it worse, and manage to spread it to the mitten as well. My hound has found the shame of my vanquished foe and seems to be proudly sniffing it like he has found the mightiest bone. I run over to him and shoo him away, lest he show the evil I have committed to my parents.
I again run back to my family and walk with them. My sisters are walking slightly behind us whispering and giggling. Probably trying to come up with some scheme designed to get me into trouble, something I don't need all that much help with really. They see me looking back and wave, a brief blur of two sets of pink and yellow arms flashes before me. An idea leaps into my head and before my little brains actually has time to come up with a good argument against my proposed actions my sword is already plunging into a nice soft patch of mud. With a good dollop speared I walk up to my sisters, smiling innocently as I go. They don't see the deception until it is too late and my muddied sword has brushed the fronts of two pink jackets. I let off a triumphant laugh before the tell tales run to my parents squealing.
My sword is taken away from me and thrown away; it had been a good one, I shall try to remember where it is so I can pick it up another day. It is a sad loss but this walk is littered with many a faithful blade of mine that has been removed from my person for some perceived foul deed. I should probably try to get the mud off my mitten before mother discovers it. I don't think it would be a good idea to encourage further trouble today.
I run off to the water edge to wash it off. I don't see the mound until my foot is already on it. The smell of dog shit hits me as I land on my bottom and start to slide, mum's going to kill me for getting dog crap on my cords. I don't get that long to breathe it in though before my small body finds itself suspended in mid air above the bubbling torrent below. I take a brief moment to marvel at my weightlessness before gravity fights back control and I plunge into the rather angry water below.
User Reviews
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-11-22 05:51:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yar, and other such remarks.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-11-20 23:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2008-11-20 17:04:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Falling into water is one of my first memories.
One minute I was playing next to a pond, and the next I was underwater staring up at the surface.
The weird thing was that I don't remember really feeling any panic. I was just there.
I probably would have drowned, but obviously someone pulled me out.
This story is decent. It would be better if you rewrote it to reflect more of a childlike perspective, especially paragraphs 2 and 3.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-20 16:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
careful, or I'll eat your face
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-11-20 13:59:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-20 13:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-11-20 10:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sweetcheebs (user info) at 2008-11-20 10:19:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This needs more blood, guts, and rape if you ask me. If you don't ask me, I'll tell you anyway.
HUZZAH!
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-20 09:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2008-11-20 09:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
argh!
it's the devoshire troll
below
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-11-20 08:56:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2008-11-20 08:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If this is some ridiculously long, sedimentary way of asking to fuck me then I bequeath my anus to you and yours....humbly.
Yes, sedimentary.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-11-20 07:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes I check my more info thing, the one that shows how I have rated others etc...
You are the only person that I've given nothing but +2s to, whom I have rated multiple times.
Yet, I cannot remember a single post of yours.
What's up with that?
But yeah it's probably going to continue, because I've made it some kind of cruel game in my head.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-11-20 07:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Got what you deserved you tyrant.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-11-20 05:54:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GAY BEAR ALERT!!