Fat Tony returns (with camwhore to authenticate) WARNING: You may get moist. (1160 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.72 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tony (View user info) at 2008-11-20 11:30:15 EST
I lost it all (not the weight). Cars, money, house, business, machinery, etc. I went from being self employed and having it all, to begging for employment not knowing what next month holds for us (still have family).
The strange part about it is, I'm happy. Stripped of all material possesions that I thought made me the man I wanted to be, I was forced to see that in reality I'm just a nobody and as much as I hate to admit it my existance is very fragile. Two small mistakes led to my collapse. What I thought was an incredible tower of accomplishment, turned out to be nothing more then a house of cards.
I currently sell cars in the south. I have several superiors, I must follow rules, must folow a dress code (it hurts wearing $1500 suits when you sell used cars, with guys who wear dockers and $10 shirts with a $10 tie). I am being trained (grrrrrr I hate that fucking word) to sell new cars and with the economy being what it is, I'm still screwed.
Sometimes I feel sorry talking a couple into purchasing more car then they need, at a higher payment then they can afford, just so I can make a few extra bucks. "Hey, look at it this way, in six to nine months of on time payments, you can came back here and trade this baby in for anything I have on the lot AND you can name your own payment!" They fall for it every time. I don't see me doing this for long, conscience bugs me a lot.
Scott: Living well in SoCal. Made a shit load of money with me, saved it (because he lives like shit) and getting social security benefits until he dies. Happy as can be, moved 15 miles west to be closer to the beach.
Moolie: Given away to a stud farm.
Me: Making promises, telling lies, abusing the silver tongue I was born with so I can make a living in the South, my best customers are Nig... blacks. Love to buy 22's and work them into the payment.
And now to authenticate and more importantly make you moist. My camwhore.
You'd buy a car from me.
User Reviews
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-03-30 04:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
car sales? man, that's two steps below child molester. Kill yourself already.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2008-11-21 23:51:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!
Submitted by metalbeast7 (user info) at 2008-11-21 20:07:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
george lopez really let himself go
Submitted by PMN (user info) at 2008-11-21 12:35:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
me too
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-11-21 11:28:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M NOT BUYING THIS.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-11-21 05:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har Har your life sucks.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-21 00:25:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 16:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-20 14:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you weren't kidding, Tony-- i DID get moist!!!
________________________________
My favorite review. Thank you
============================================
no problem, you filthy animal.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2008-11-21 00:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hey - sexier, smarter, and funnier than Bubba.
But don't feel too bad about it, you can't win 'em all!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2008-11-20 22:58:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-11-20 21:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
snore
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2008-11-20 20:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-11-20 19:59:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
welcome back,
always found your stories amusing.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-11-20 19:47:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet Jesus!
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-11-20 18:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I wouldn't buy a car from you but I'm glad to see you're still alive.
Stay alive bro, stay alive.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2008-11-20 16:31:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you're-selling-cars???
how in the hell do you get those chubby little legs to reach the pedals?
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 16:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-20 14:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you weren't kidding, Tony-- i DID get moist!!!
________________________________
My favorite review. Thank you
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2008-11-20 14:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And yet you're still just a figment of some Uberbonehead's imagination
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2008-11-20 14:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a power goatee you've got going on, but you really should dye it.
LOL's for the myspace emo fat chick photo angle
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-11-20 14:26:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-20 14:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you weren't kidding, Tony-- i DID get moist!!!
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-11-20 14:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Points for the random wires in the background.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 FAT TONY
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
well howdy there, droopy dog.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:22:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Getting banned? Bart will ban me, just to fuck with me. Watch. I might not last 72 hours.
------------------------------------------
We can only hope.
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:19:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:17:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
fat asshole :P
_____________________
Hey! I'm not an asshole any more. I swear. Still racist. Still womanizing. Still.... an asshole.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ps I am always moist I have very little bladder control.
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Comfortably_Numb (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat Tony makes this place interesting.
_______________________
Wow. Thank you.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:17:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
fat asshole :P
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:17:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look like my dad.
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY TONY WELCOME BACK. Sorry capslock. You look good! Tired and bloated, but good! Don't go doing anything stupid, like getting yourself banned again immediately.
______________________
Tired from working & taking orders. Something I have never done before. Bloated = fat.
Getting banned? Bart will ban me, just to fuck with me. Watch. I might not last 72 hours.
Submitted by Comfortably_Numb (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fat Tony makes this place interesting.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:05:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY TONY WELCOME BACK. Sorry capslock. You look good! Tired and bloated, but good! Don't go doing anything stupid, like getting yourself banned again immediately.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-11-20 12:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should shave the chia pet off your face it's kind of taking over.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Should have lost the weight.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:49:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't you get aids?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:48:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As much as I hate you're fat greasy ass. I like you.
You're like Cartman from Southpark. Even though you're a racist, womanizing, fat fuck.
You just gotta love the fat kid.
I miss you jiggles.
plus 2 my man, +2
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:39:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sucks about the collapse and everything.
________________________________________
Actually? I'm kind of happy about it. I see things in a different light. I treat people differently and more important, I am different.
I think I'm "this" person because I have to be, because I am in this situation. Family life is better. Relationship is better. Spend more time with loved ones. Sure I worry a lot more (more gray hair) but fuck it. Things are technicaly better.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:43:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am bored off my ASS
I will keep banging +2's to keep you around so I have something to do.
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, 10 minutes and I am still on the front page.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:40:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I would buy fries from you!
Submitted by RestrictionsApply (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You're right, I am moist!
...because I threw up!
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:39:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sucks about the collapse and everything.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:37:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
go away again.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
7 minutes two responses
tubleweeds dude
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dear god it is you.
you picked a wonderful time to post it's a fucking ghost town here.
at least people will log in to hate on you
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2008-11-20 11:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
go away again.