An unexplained and arbitrary habit of a complete and total stranger (565 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.88 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tyklo (View user info) at 2008-12-02 10:50:08 EST
(Be warned... there is what I think would be considered "content" here, but it's of a subject of infinite irrelevancy)
I've noticed just recently that for the longest time I've had the tendency to, whenever trying to advocate, impress or otherwise influence any sort of situation and find myself lending credibility to my point by indicating personal competence, skill or otherwise achievement, I will also attempt to negate what I fear will be the presumption of the person to whom I'm speaking that I'm conceited and full of myself by so quickly pointing to personal success by following up whatever is said with a reassurance that whatever it is that I've alluded to being good at I am far from a top shelf professional with and am really just, in the context of the given situation, above average in proficiency and capability... and yes, I know, that was one Hell of a sentence to make sense of, but it I'm on forty hours awake and took twenty minutes to write it...
To give an example, if I was at a bar with some friends and was trying to prove that I would be the best pick-up artist by saying something generally along the lines of, "After all, I'm the best looking one out of all of us," it would be followed up with something like, "Not that I'm some tall, dark and mysterious stud with an accent, but just that compared to you guys I'm clearly the best."
Also, I've noticed that I always phrase the statement that seeks to bring into context my own compliment with the same sort of cookie cutter formula that has me saying, "Not that I'm <the quintessential apex of accomplishment in whatever field> or anything," followed with something that simply establishes myself somewhat above the median level of expectation, like, "but circumstances considering, I'm perfectly capable/the man for the job". I know I follow this seemingly engrained ritualized behaviour because after the first time the entire notion occurred to me I started to catch myself five or more times a day saying almost exactly the same sentence immediately after it escapes my lips.
It first occurred to me that this seems to indicate I have low self-esteem or not a lot of confidence in myself as I seem quick to try and correct what was said by diminishing myself in the hopes of proving to others that I don't think of myself as some kind of alpha male or refined craftsman, but I don't think that's the case. I've always had a good impression of myself and as much self respect and dignity as any kid should be growing up, not that I was a really popular jock that everyone loved, but at the very least in the upper levels of that meaty middle ground of the average kids and well above the chess club and band class kids. (I was just about to post this when noticing that the previous sentence was an unintentional and perfect example of what I'm talking about...)
I'm Canadian, a middle child and my parents were government employees, essentially diehard bureaucrats, and as such was raised with a recipe for mild mannered, respectable but not truly impressive efficiency and a sprinkling of humility and a rather flexible mindset.
...
So... you know... there's a universally trivial tick of a complete and utter stranger for you.
Amazing, eh?
User Reviews
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-12-12 01:00:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really funny. Not that I'm a very good judge of humor, you know, but I'm just saying I thought it was (funny) and my opinion is probably better than anyone else's here.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2008-12-03 17:12:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking hell.....
I wondered where you went.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-12-02 20:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-02 10:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture is ace
Submitted by BigBuffty (user info) at 2008-12-02 15:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what the hell? are you a fag or something?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-12-02 12:43:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Have a similar habit, I call it "keeping the balance."
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-12-02 12:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I should have taken heed of the warning
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-12-02 12:00:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and I didn't mean to make it sound like it was "puffing out one's chest". If anything, the proclaimation with the added modifier is to show that you're NOT doing such a thing.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-12-02 11:57:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"presumable subordination"
If it was presumable, there'd be no need to announce your superiority to the group in context. Your "air" would establish that without words. At the risk of going into dubious pheremonal territory, your peers would "smell" and simply "know" that you're the alpha, thus an arbitrary announcement of that fact would be redundant and may actually give the group the offense your stated "Not that I'm the best" modifier seeks to pacify/avoid.
That being said, the fact that you feel the need to announce it rather than let your body language and posture establish it without words ultimately points back to a self-esteem issue within the individual. I'm not attacking you here. Maybe it's a self-image thing. Maybe you don't feel like you give off that "air" enough, hence the need[habit] of proclaiming it.
Submitted by Tyklo (user info) at 2008-12-02 11:40:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-12-02 11:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Not that I'm-" usually stems from a need to establish one's dominance in a particular peer group without giving off an air of arrogance. It's kinda like, "I may not be the best, but I'm better than you." The ability to say that in a particular group without insulting them is what I call tactical confidence. It's just a skip from being conceit, but it's easier for others to swallow. As long as you truly believe the things you're saying and can back them up, go with it.
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I would disagree. The overall affair of claiming to be the best at picking up chicks would be a clear dominance struggle between a group of males but to capitulate to an archetype or personae not even present hardly seems to be an act of puffing out one's chest. Also, by showing that, while good but not the best, you're softening the blow of offending the others by reducing how much better you think you are than them. It all reeks of presumable subordination.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-12-02 11:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Not that I'm-" usually stems from a need to establish one's dominance in a particular peer group without giving off an air of arrogance. It's kinda like, "I may not be the best, but I'm better than you." The ability to say that in a particular group without insulting them is what I call tactical confidence. It's just a skip from being conceit, but it's easier for others to swallow. As long as you truly believe the things you're saying and can back them up, go with it.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-12-02 11:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Tyklo (user info) at 2008-12-02 11:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and I guess just so I'm on record somewhere for those with any interest or even awareness of me, I'm Tokerson...
Or at least, I am that through which Tokerson was given life, but that body is dead and from his virile loins has sprung this new account! So..
Yup.
Definitely not a virgin...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-02 10:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that picture is ace