Warning: Pooping harms you and those around you (425 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.13 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by buffty (View user info) at 2008-12-05 10:40:43 EST
Good morning Ubersite
Jesus I don't know what has been wrong with me recently. I have been through prolonged bouts of extreme diarrhoea for the last year or so. I am even finding shit on the bottom of the toilet seat. I mean, how the fuck does it get there? I have a theory.
There is no way my explosive diarrhoea could have got UNDER the seat directly. This simply isn't possible due to the angles involved.
It must first hit the water, cause a shockwave and then the sheer force of this shoots the somewhat diluted shit vertically, covering the bottom of the toilet seat, and my ass.
After coming to this realization, I have started wiping my ass-cheeks after having a squirty visit. You would be surprised how much lands on my ass, it takes 3 or 4 wads per cheek before the paper stops coming out a frightening greenish brown color. I have now found that I don't need to go around all day with small animals howling at me, and people avoiding me. I can stand up proudly from my seat, without the rotten yet somewhat sweet smell of digested corn exuding from my posterior.
It is a great time in my life right now, but I am a bit worried. You see, I have not made a shit since Wednesday, and I am all tensed up. It feels like I have a family of moles camped in my lower intestine, and it hurts. I have tried watching my favourite movie, swap.avi, but even that has failed to open my reluctant sphincterette. I shall provide a full update on Monday.
Yours in flatulence
BigBuffty
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-12-08 07:38:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2008-12-08 07:27:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
quality
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-12-05 14:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-12-05 12:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 swap.avi
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2008-12-05 12:05:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-05 11:53:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Learn how to spell your affliction.
Submitted by The_Raper (user info) at 2008-12-05 11:32:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2008-12-05 11:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
autofuckoff
Submitted by PioneerBill (user info) at 2008-12-05 11:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-12-05 10:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
thanks for sharing shit stain.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2008-12-05 10:52:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it, don't need to.
Submitted by BigBuffty (user info) at 2008-12-05 10:49:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck all of you fags get a life
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2008-12-05 10:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fucking pussy
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-12-05 10:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is bad even for you, Bret.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2008-12-05 10:46:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Not exactly breaking new ground here.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-05 10:46:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
goodbye fatty