Shit (328 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.8 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DA (View user info) at 2008-12-21 17:58:14 EST
was walking down the street and then a plow came by and shoved a ton of snow into me. Then a tree above me fell down on top of me because the snow was too heavy for it. Then another plow came by and plowed through the pile of snow that I was in. My right leg was chopped off by the plow. Then I started to get up but at that moment a raccoon came and started eating my leg. I 'ran at the raccoon because I wanted to sew the leg back on, but the raccoon jumped at me and ate my left eye out. Then because I was so pissed off I ripped all the fingers off my right hand except for my middle finger. Then I fed the raccoon the fingers and it was happy. I walked into town to try to go to the hospital, but then I saw a chainsaw on sale for $20. I went in and bought the chainsaw, and went to a gas station to buy some gas for it to see if the chainsaw worked well. I filled the chainsaw up with gas, and it did work. But there was a serious flaw in this situation: I could not hold the chainsaw (because of my handicap hand) and the chainsaw dropped into my stomach and cut a bunch of stuff off. Then I got thirsty and drank some water on the ground (which turned out to be gasoline since I was still at the gas station.) I then went to the hospital and they got me into surgery right away. But when the doctor shined a light into my stomach to see what was missing, somehow the gasoline ignited and blew everything up. Then i went home and wrote this down.
User Reviews
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-22 07:50:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-12-21 22:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-12-21 22:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lame alter
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-21 20:52:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
COME BACK!!!!
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2008-12-21 20:38:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-12-21 19:36:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2008-12-21 19:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There is no such word as "shined. Look it up.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2008-12-21 19:27:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Can see this one sticking around for awhile.
good job, no I mean it, sterling keep going, you crack me up.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-21 18:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish the snow plow backed over you a few more times.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2008-12-21 18:19:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-12-21 18:01:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
huffing cheap spray-paint again?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-12-21 17:59:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
do not want