Buy this great product!! (910 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.61 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by St_Jimmy: Only $19.99 for a limited time only! (View user info) at 2008-12-22 11:23:19 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/120341
"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need." -Tyler Durden
For me, the holiday season seems to trigger that quote to run on a constant loop in the back of my mind until early January. BUY BUY BUY! Now buy some more! Why are you stopping?? Credit cards maxed out? Just take out a home equity loa... Oh, forgot. Probably won't be doing that now. Well, you can always borrow against your retirement accounts (if you have one). It is YOUR money after all, and these deals WILL NOT LAST! We're opening early and closing late.
I don't know. In my adult years, I've moved away from buying products for people and switched toward the charitable contribution on behalf of so and so. The way I see it, we're all adults and we all have jobs. If you want some product, you'll go out and buy it. If I want something, I'll go buy it for myself. It seems pointless to waste time guessing what someone else wants. Charity donations still say "I'm thinking about you enough to spend money on you" without wasting money buying people more crap they don't need.
I will buy products for children because, let's face it, kids are shallow assholes. Unemployed little fuckers who think they're entitled to the good life. "Everybody's a winner." Bullshit. "You're fine just the way you are." Bullshit. Most people are losers and I guarantee you're not fine just the way you are. At best you are fat, ignorant, insulated, unskilled and generally useless. You should understand and accept these facts. Then you should be pissed off by them. Anger will provide the drive for you to improve yourself and not become a fat, ignorant, insulated, unskilled and generally useless adult. You suck kid! Now get better.
Kayak is a cool word. It's the same forward and backward. I think that's called a palindrome. Palindromes are cool because it's like they're saying "Fuck you dyslexics, you're not getting out of reading US!" I once took rafting trip, which involved rafts, not kayaks. It turned out to be a lot like that movie Deliverance, but without any of the butt rape. So, I suppose it was really nothing like that movie.
I like getting out in nature when I can. A coworker of mine suggested once that "they' should just pave over nature "cause it's lame". I really didn't know how to respond to that. I guess he was joking about the paving part, but I'm not sure about the lame comment. He's 23, he should know better by now. Then again, his uncle got him his job. He is clearly not a winner.
In just under a month, President-elect Obama will give his inauguration speech to a projected crowd of some 2 million people on the National Mall. I think he should open his speech with "Can you count, suckas?" and throw in at least one "Caaan yoooouuu dig it?" somewhere in the speech. I think a lot of people probably wouldn't get the joke, but I still feel it'd be quite appropriate.
Do you suppose it's possible for someone's life to jump the shark? I met a guy who actually had a myspace affair. I think that'd qualify. He should really consider firing his writers.
I do NOT enjoy hummus.
I hate it when people end a crappy post with an intentionally distracting, unrelated picture.
User Reviews
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2008-12-25 09:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparantly I'm not one for 99 percentile tits.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-12-23 16:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, it turns out Lucy Pinder is hotter. Simple mistake on your part.
http://www.chickipedia.com/lucy-pinder/
nsfw
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2008-12-23 11:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can so dig that.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-22 16:43:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sure...
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-12-22 15:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Consider it dug.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-12-22 15:06:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll take a dozen
Submitted by Porcelain (user info) at 2008-12-22 14:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:57:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-22 18:46:36 GMT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fake boobs
_____________
LIAR!! LIAR!!! LIAR!!!!
http://www.chickipedia.com/denise-milani/
(first sentence of the intro)
---------
Ok, I WILL sleep with her
the things I have to do
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:51:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
________
:D
By the way, I'm sorry I used your camwhore without permission.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/119678
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate it when people end a crappy post with an intentionally distracting, unrelated picture.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fake boobs
_____________
LIAR!! LIAR!!! LIAR!!!!
http://www.chickipedia.com/denise-milani/
(first sentence of the intro)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:26:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fake boobs
urghhh
i really wouldn't touch her with a bargepole
unless you paid me
go on pay me
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can you count, sucka?
That's Denise Milani, although you should know she hasn't posed nude yet.
yet.
Sooner or later, the internet gets even the best of them. Even Cindy Margolis has posed naked.
That turned out to be quite disappointing though. Probably too much buildup.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She has to know that if she doesn't flash the nip, we'll eventually lose interest.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-22 13:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can you count, sucka?
That's Denise Milani, although you should know she hasn't posed nude yet.
yet.
Sooner or later, the internet gets even the best of them. Even Cindy Margolis has posed naked.
That turned out to be quite disappointing though. Probably too much buildup.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-12-22 12:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is that? I need to Google her... for masturbatory purposes.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-12-22 12:43:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd buy her for 19.99 plus S&H
I didn't read this by the way.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-12-22 12:02:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1)Yes, I can dig it.
2)"I will buy products for children because, let's face it, kids are shallow assholes."
I buy products for my niece and nephew which are both fun and educational, because they're actually being raised fairly well. (Not to dispute your statement, most kids are.)
3)I buy things for other people, only if it's something I can see myself using it in the future. That way, I'm not only buying it for "them", I'm buying it for "us."
People may misconstrue this as greed, but I swear, they get to keep it, I just might want to borrow it for an extended period of time at some point. Probably sooner rather than later, especially if it's edible.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Old news. Rating the messenger.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
zooooom!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My sentiments exactly. After Christmas, you still have Valentine's Day to dread. This may effect the male species more however.
Anyway, a few years back, my friend bought a goat and some chickens for a village family in my name.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Lame.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/109684
Seems relevant.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking hate hummus, but if it were spread over those boobs I'm sure I could come to some kind of compromise.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:34:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
While I enjoy Hummus immensely, I would fight to the death for your right to openly claim that you don't enjoy it, but me and friends will probably laugh at you when we're drunk.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah - anti-Americanism is inevitable. Eventually, we will all hate Obama as well.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:29:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to buy nice things for people that they normally wouldn't buy for themselves. Example: I've put together a hamper for my mum's present, with nice wine, cheese, biscuits, jars and stuff that she'll really like but wouldn't normally pick up for herself....[distracted by boobs]...um...I can't remember what I was saying.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wait...what were you sayin?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-22 11:24:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dug it.